Need to vent somewhat...

To keep a very long story short... BD cheated on me, jumped into a reationship with another girl before I even moved out (I'm sure she was unaware)... and a bunch of other jazz... I the few times we were able to communicate like adults were short lived. New year's eve his mother called to tell me he was going to watch her at her house (he NEVER sees her unless his mom has her) because she had to work. I have an interview in their city and she was supposed to watch DD. I had called him and in about a ten second conversation (he only answered because he didn't have my new number) we confirmed plans. About 1am he texted me "happy new year have a great year". Well, I checked my old phone because it's still on, and he (after having my new number) proceeded to text me saying to ONLY contact about our daughter (who he doesn't ever see nor gives a smurf about) because he's in a "Serious relationship with jennifer". Oh... I forgot our wasn't "serious" that ten years doesn't hold a candle to three months!! LOL!!!
Not to mention, the one girl he can't get over, whom we ended our relationship over because he cheated on me WITH her, he still talks to. But THAT isnt disrespectful. However comunicating or participating with your child IS??!?! OMG. I haven't seen this smurf smurf in months and tommorrow I am dropping DD off with him for the first time then heading out to a very important interview... now I can't sleep.... Someone vent with me.

Honestly I think it's time to stop caring about his love life.

It doesn't matter how long you two dated, who he cheated on you with, or who he's with now. You two are not together and the only thing you have in common with one another is your child.

He's right that you two should only communicate with one another about your child. And I think if you could do that you'd have a lot less to vent about.

I don't talk to my BD unless it's about my son, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Quoting Red Bottom:" Honestly I think it's time to stop caring about his love life. It doesn't matter how long you two dated, ... [snip!] ... you'd have a lot less to vent about. I don't talk to my BD unless it's about my son, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

I'm absolutely not concerned about his love life. I'm concerned about having some sort of trust with the guy who likes to pop into his daughter's life whenever her feels like it. He and that girl can do whatever they please as long as they evolve past the age of 13.

Quoting Red Bottom:" Honestly I think it's time to stop caring about his love life. It doesn't matter how long you two dated, ... [snip!] ... you'd have a lot less to vent about. I don't talk to my BD unless it's about my son, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

And also, he communicates with me when she is not around. And that's it. He doesn't communicate with me about our daughter... which is the bottom line. I called to verify plans. He went off on tantrum. 10 second conversation like I said.

I think you need to stop wasting your energy on him. He's just an overall asshat and it is just unnecessarily stressing you out and upsetting you.

Quoting Is that still my name?:" And also, he communicates with me when she is not around. And that's it. He doesn't communicate with ... [snip!] ... our daughter... which is the bottom line. I called to verify plans. He went off on tantrum. 10 second conversation like I said."

Judging buy this post and your OP you very much care about his love life. YOU need to stop conversing with him about anything but your child. Anything more seems to just be creating drama that you are equally participating in.

Quoting Red Bottom:" Judging buy this post and your OP you very much care about his love life. YOU need to stop conversing ... [snip!] ... with him about anything but your child. Anything more seems to just be creating drama that you are equally participating in."

I DONT converse with him. EVER. I called him because his mother couldn't. first time. last time.

Quoting BunnyGirl19:" I think you need to stop wasting your energy on him. He's just an overall asshat and it is just unnecessarily stressing you out and upsetting you."

I would LOVE to have him vanish. You just tell me how. I only share a child with him and all.

Quoting Is that still my name?:" I DONT converse with him. EVER. I called him because his mother couldn't. first time. last time."

You just said he communicates with you when she's not around....

Quoting Is that still my name?:" I would LOVE to have him vanish. You just tell me how. I only share a child with him and all."

Ugh, so dramatic. Stop worrying about him, his life, who he's with, etc. Communicate with him only about your daughter as he asked. Then he becomes a rarity in your life. It's really not hard, I've been doing it for many years.

Quoting Red Bottom:" Ugh, so dramatic. Stop worrying about him, his life, who he's with, etc. Communicate with him only ... [snip!] ... your daughter as he asked. Then he becomes a rarity in your life. It's really not hard, I've been doing it for many years."

I'm not worrying about it... I have no idea where you formed than opinion. I am venting about the fact my daughter's "dad" is in and out on childish terms. Shouldn't you, as a parent, want to be CIVIL, with your child's other parent so you know what is going on with YOUR child? And Im not talking details, but common things.... like potty training.... or IDK... bedtime and the people they're around???

Quoting Is that still my name?:" I'm not worrying about it... I have no idea where you formed than opinion. I am venting about the fact ... [snip!] ... And Im not talking details, but common things.... like potty training.... or IDK... bedtime and the people they're around??? "

I gathered it from your rambling about who he slept with, who he's sleeping with, and how and when he talks to you and who he's around when he does it.

You cannot control who he's around, so stop obsessing over it.

You can try and tell him to be your definition of civil all day long, but he's going to do what he wants. It's one of the awesome things about having a baby daddy. You can't change it so stop freaking out about it.

Quoting Red Bottom:" I gathered it from your rambling about who he slept with, who he's sleeping with, and how and when he ... [snip!] ... do what he wants. It's one of the awesome things about having a baby daddy. You can't change it so stop freaking out about it. "

Yes I know. I needed to vent. He was decent today when he picked her up. It's just scary not knowing who is with my child. It makes me feel like a bad parent and that it is my fault he isn't around. Although I VERY much know it is not true. I suppose I am a bit of a control freak. And if that's how I sound, then it must be true. I said all that to show his smurffy character because he smurfed up yet treats me like smurf and uses anticts to avoid his parental responsibilities. I was just needing a vent.