thnx

thanks..........................

It sounds like you have a lack of discipline going on so he knows you're not going to do anything if he doesn't do what you say.

You told him three different times to do what you asked....saying it louder doesn't make it different.

And then your punishment was taking away his food, but you STILL gave him the entertainment of staying up with a book.

Then after he didn't listen to you AGAIN, you still told him he could have a book.

Of course he's not going to do what you say. Nothing happens aside from not having to eat the dinner he probably didn't want to eat anyways.

If he doesn't do what you ask, make him write down 10 times what he's going to do from now on when you ask him to do something and don't let him move until you do.

Don't tell him 3 times before you act on something, if he doesn't listen, send him to his room, make him sit int he middle of his bed, and check on him every 5 minutes to make sure he's doing what you asked. Then talk to him about why he's in trouble.

No I don't think it was unreasonable. You gave him many chances to listen and he chose not too. If you just stay consistant he should start to learn what's expected.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" It sounds like you have a lack of discipline going on so he knows you're not going to do anything if ... [snip!] ... his bed, and check on him every 5 minutes to make sure he's doing what you asked. Then talk to him about why he's in trouble. "</blockquote>




This 100%

Quoting Red Bottom:" It sounds like you have a lack of discipline going on so he knows you're not going to do anything if ... [snip!] ... his bed, and check on him every 5 minutes to make sure he's doing what you asked. Then talk to him about why he's in trouble. "

first... I never said I yelled at him, or talked LOUDER. I said "sternly" and more firmly. He's a kid.. I expect him to get excited and act goofy. I dont' like to punish for that. But..need him to eat.

and the book...because I htink 620 is unreasonable to go to bed. I don't consider books entertainment..they're education. (he only reads history/animal stuff. he was only given ONE chance with the book. I told him to hurry up. He didn't... when I saw him again, I sent him to bed.

I don't want to be too strict, but DO wnat him to listen. it's frustrating. HIs father punishes them for everything, often without even finding out what actually happened (like, punishing 4 kids when something happens instead of figuring out who did it).. I dont' want that... I just want a reasonabnle, age appropriate amount of respect

Quoting snglemama:" first... I never said I yelled at him, or talked LOUDER. I said "sternly" and more firmly. He's a ... [snip!] ... happens instead of figuring out who did it).. I dont' want that... I just want a reasonabnle, age appropriate amount of respect"

No one said you yelled at him....so I think maybe it's time for you to breathe.

You can continue to think everything your doing is right and hope that he turns into the child you want him to be...

Or you can take advice from the people you asked advice from and admit that maybe you should change up the way you're doing things.

You said yourself that after he still didn't get in bed, you gave him a second chance at a book. Nothing an 8 year old can read is going to change his educational outcome. 6:20 isn't a normal bed time but if he's in trouble, he's in trouble and can go to bed at 6:20.

You obviously didn't want him to be doign whatever he was doing because you scolded him 3 times for it, so I'm confused at why you're defending the behavior now. You say he needs to eat, yet you threw out his dinner as his only real punishment.

Like I said, figure out what you actually plan on doing to change your situation, or stop asking for advice and then pretending like no one else knows what they're talking about.

Quoting Red Bottom:" No one said you yelled at him....so I think maybe it's time for you to breathe. You can continue to ... [snip!] ... to change your situation, or stop asking for advice and then pretending like no one else knows what they're talking about."

I'm not pretending no one else knows. I did come here asking for advice.... but I want to find a good balance, not be made out to be a bad parent.

throwing away his food... yes. becuase he'd already eaten one piece of pizza,, and I figured if he couldn't sit and eat, he must not be that hungry.

I appreciate your advice, really. Just not the condescending tone you gave it in.

Quoting snglemama:" I'm not pretending no one else knows. I did come here asking for advice.... but I want to find a good ... [snip!] ... and eat, he must not be that hungry. I appreciate your advice, really. Just not the condescending tone you gave it in. "

Nothing of what I posted was condescending. It was genuine. Not having a good amount of discipline doesn't make you a bad parent, but I'd be willing to bet it contributes 90% to your frustrations with your son, and correcting that will likely correct your problem.

Red Bottom- While I agree with your suggestions, I agree with SingleMama 100% that you sound condescending when this is read.