Is it wrong to give your SO/DH an ultimatum?

Depends on the circumstance.

If there is a true issue and the person hasn't attempted to solve the issue, an ultimatum may be needed.

But something like.."If you don't give me your Facebook password, we're over!" or "If you don't stop playing your X-box, then I'm leaving!"....Wrong.

Life is too short to worry about small smurf.

It depends on what the reasoning is for the ultimatum. If it's because you don't want him going out with the guys one night, then that's kinda immature. But if it's for a more serious reason like abuse, cheating, marriage reasons, then sure.

Depends on why you feel the need to give them one.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Tiger Lily ♥:</b>" Depends on the circumstance. If there is a true issue and the person hasn't attempted to solve the ... [snip!] ... over!" or "If you don't stop playing your X-box, then I'm leaving!"....Wrong. Life is too short to worry about small smurf."</blockquote>


What if it's "Get help for your alcoholism or we're getting a divorce"?

Wrong? No.

Personally I wouldn't... because if someone doesn't want to change me giving them an ultimatum is just going to make them pissed off at me.... and not help anything.

IMO, I can only change my own self or situation, I cannot force someone else to change themselves.

Depends on the circumstances.

Quoting Jude the Super Kinkster:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Tiger Lily ♥:</b>" Depends on the circumstance. If there ... [snip!] ... short to worry about small smurf."</blockquote> What if it's "Get help for your alcoholism or we're getting a divorce"?"

I told DH he can go get help for his anger issues or I was leaving and DS was coming with me.

Quoting Jude the Super Kinkster:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Tiger Lily ♥:</b>" Depends on the circumstance. If there ... [snip!] ... short to worry about small smurf."</blockquote> What if it's "Get help for your alcoholism or we're getting a divorce"?"

Perfectly acceptable.

Quoting Tiger Lily ♥:" Depends on the circumstance. If there is a true issue and the person hasn't attempted to solve the ... [snip!] ... over!" or "If you don't stop playing your X-box, then I'm leaving!"....Wrong. Life is too short to worry about small smurf."

I feel like a man playing xbox all day instead of paying attention to his family isn't really a small thing. At least imo.

Quoting Jude the Super Kinkster:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Tiger Lily ♥:</b>" Depends on the circumstance. If there ... [snip!] ... short to worry about small smurf."</blockquote> What if it's "Get help for your alcoholism or we're getting a divorce"?"

In this case... I would go more for, "We need to be separated. If you want to search for help to deal with your alcoholism, I will gladly help you, but I will not help you continue your alcoholism and sit by and watch."


ESPECIALLY if there is a chance of not following through with your ultimatum. The worse thing you can do is give an ultimatum and not follow through.

Quoting Chelsea Dawns Mama:" Perfectly acceptable. "

  

It's not wrong.

I don't know if I would ever give anyone an ultimatum though. I would want them to change for themselves, not for me. If they change for me, it's less likely they will actually completely change, it would make me wonder if it was just a facade while we were together KWIM?

Quoting Jude the Super Kinkster:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Tiger Lily ♥:</b>" Depends on the circumstance. If there ... [snip!] ... short to worry about small smurf."</blockquote> What if it's "Get help for your alcoholism or we're getting a divorce"?"

That is NOT wrong.

<blockquote><b>Quoting The Doctor:</b>" In this case... I would go more for, "We need to be separated. If you want to search for help to deal ... [snip!] ... a chance of not following through with your ultimatum. The worse thing you can do is give an ultimatum and not follow through."</blockquote>




I have tried.that and nothing has.worked. I cannot deal with it anymore