ppd .....

I didn't see any signs of ppd until maybe 3 days ago. And tonight, it just took over. I've never felt like this, like I'm 13 all over again, unsure of who I am, and how I feel about everything. It feels like I'm placing myself into a tunnel, KNOWINGLY that I can't get out of. And the walls are closing in and just making me feel like nothing. I've never felt more vulnerable. And alone. I know I have pleanty of people who are there for me, and care, I just push them away. It's like I don't know how to express to them how much I hurt, like they have no idea. I'm terrified that I'm putting my relationship in jepardy. Tonight, I sent my boyfriend to bed without me, because I just want to be alone. I really don't know what it's like to express myself to anyone, face to face. It's just really tiring me out .

Tell your OB... I did. I have meds now. It helps A LOT.

Please do it, for you... Your child & your bf.

Have you spoken to your doctor about this or anyone else? It's really important that you tell your doctor about this.

You are definatly not the only one Hun!.
I'm not a person who can discuss problems or complications
to other people face to face.. expecialy with my boyfriend... it's just
trying to avoid a fight!. I type out letters to him on the computer though
and save them to the desktop.. just so he knows whats going on and i'm not
hating on him or anything!

Quoting Kimberlea:“ You are definatly not the only one Hun!. I'm not a person who can discuss problems or complications ... [snip!] ... on the computer though and save them to the desktop.. just so he knows whats going on and i'm not hating on him or anything!”

I'm actually in the middle of a long ass email right now. I write, so it makes it alot easier. I just don't understand why I'm pushing him away, and he's the only one I cant ever live without.

Quoting kenzie2cute4words:“ Tell your OB... I did. I have meds now. It helps A LOT. Please do it, for you... Your child & your bf.”

What meds did they put you on?

talk to your OB soon! i wouldnt admit that i had it - i didnt think it would happen to me and i started to get like that - i went right to my OB and he gave me meds an i am soo much better i dont need them anymore

Quoting -Extra Cheesy-:“ Have you spoken to your doctor about this or anyone else? It's really important that you tell your doctor about this.”

My 6 week pp appt is Friday. I habent told anyone, because I'm isolating myself. I'm just so sad now, the only thing that makes me better is my baby girl. But I just feel so unhealthy.

Please talk to someone who can help you!  Your OB is a good place to start.  You're definitely not alone, and if you get help, they can help you to feel better.  My sister had a hard tome admitting she needed help with PPD, she felt like it made her a bad mom, but once she got help she felt soooo much better (it's funny, your description sounds just like how she felt).  Remember you're NOT alone, and please talk to someone!

Quoting ANNIE JEAN:“ What meds did they put you on?”

Zoloft 50mg. They will probably start you on 25mg if you are put on Zoloft. I felt high as a kite the first few days lol. But it takes weeks to actually start working.

Normally they gradually give you more if you need it, say starting at Zoloft 25 mg, 50mg & 100 if needed. Etc. But I was REALLY out of control.

Quoting ANNIE JEAN:“ My 6 week pp appt is Friday. I habent told anyone, because I'm isolating myself. I'm just so sad now, the only thing that makes me better is my baby girl. But I just feel so unhealthy.”

I'm glad that your appointment is soon and try not to get discouraged to tell your doctor about your situation.
I wish you the best!