What can I do (question about loss)

One of my friends from high school and on Facebook is experiencing something horrible. She too had trouble getting pregnant and I helped her throughout her entire IVF process. I supported and answered questions when she found out she was having twins too. She gave birth at 25 weeks to them both a couple of weeks back. She also had two girls. One lived only a short day and one passed away after a week. My heart breaks so much for her that I hurt but I don't know what I can say. I have said " I am so sorry" but how horrible to say sorry, and then a couple of days later post photos of my healthy baby girls. I want to show them off, I am thankful for them yet I am sorry for her. I don't want to offend her and make it worse, but I want to continue living my life. Thoughts or ideas for me? It seems lose/lose for me and I want to help! Should I just give her time, I know I can't say anything to help.

I would say hide your updates from her for a while.

Quoting The Doctor:" I would say hide your updates from her for a while."

 

You can post and click the gear thing, you can make it so she can't see them?

:-(

<blockquote><b>Quoting The Doctor:</b>" I would say hide your updates from her for a while."</blockquote>


  

That is an excellent idea, and I hadn't thought of that. That seems like the easiest solution,thanks guys.

all you have to do is after you make an album for your babies on fb click on custom and it will allow you to type her name in the bottom so she is not able to view the photos in the album.

Thanks guys, that is the best idea.

Please, please don't hide updates from her. I have experienced a second trimester loss and I would be really hurt if I found out one of my friends was doing that. When I see their updates and photos of their babies, sure there is some hurt there but at the same time I still enjoy seeing them, especially if they are also infertility survivors because they also bring hope.

Let her talk to you about it. Ad nauseum if she wishes. Talking about mine helps me so much and too often people just really don't want to hear about it. My parents are still so crushed by it and friends are often uncomfortable asking.

Did she lose her girls due to incompetent cervix? If so I would advise her to check out IC support groups. There is a BG IC group on Facebook and they been a wonderful source of support and information. Their advice has given me direction in my plan for a future pregnancy.

Please, continue living your life. I wouldn't want the burden of knowing a good friend felt compelled to make accommodations for my loss. My heart does break for her. Losing one was hard enough, I can't imagine losing two.  

I cannot even imagine. I'm so sorry your friend has lost her babies.

My first thought is just to be quiet, but it is the holidays and I got to spend a lot of time with daughters. I am not sure really anything will help, as mentioned by the other poster.