DH and I are the kinds of people that do the crazy "what if" scenarios and discuss how we would react in certain situations.
So we started discussing what if cheating situations and I was wondering if YOU were cheated on but your SO told you right away, would you be more open to forgiving them versus them cheating and you finding out on your own way later on.

I would be more open to forgiving if I was told right about, but I wouldn't necessarily forgive either way.

I think if my DH came right out and told me, I'd probably be able to forgive him in the end. It would hurt, needless to say, but I feel that I'd be able to get past it since he would have been honest and up-front.

I would forgive if he told me right away.... The hard part would be forgetting and moving on I suppose .

I will never forgive a cheater. I don't care if he called me and let me listened to that smurf, or he waited a year.

I'm out. I don't stand for that smurf at all.

It <blockquote><b>Quoting ℳonster's ℳom:</b>" DH and I are the kinds of people that do the crazy "what if" scenarios and discuss how we would react ... [snip!] ... you right away, would you be more open to forgiving them versus them cheating and you finding out on your own way later on."</blockquote>




That's a tough one. I don't really think it would matter when I found out or how. It would hurt me either way just the same. I don't know if I could ever forgive SO for sleeping with another woman....but then again,I don't know if I could just walk away either kwim? We have a family.

I wouldn't be able to forgive either way.
What's stopping them from doing it again, kwim?

He told me both times.I only forgave and was willing to stay at the first time because I trusted him. I left after the second time because I knew that he would NEVER stop cheating. He is currently engaged and has already cheated on his fiancee. How do I know? He had me meet the woman on the side. I was pissed because I really like his fiancee. She has forgiven him and as much as I love having her in my daughter's life. I wish she wouldn't be with him and would find someone to appreciate her and treat her the way she should be treated.

I wouldn't forgive either situation. You cheat on me, it's smurfing over.

I have a very unhealthy obsession with my husband.

If he were to walk out on me tomorrow and leave me high and dry for someone else, I would probably wait for him to come back.

So if he told me. I would be hurt, but all in all I would most likely forgive him.

I don't think I could forgive.
but even if I could, it would still be over because I wouldn't ever be able to trust him again.

Quoting Drippy Hairymuff:" I have a very unhealthy obsession with my husband. If he were to walk out on me tomorrow and leave ... [snip!] ... would probably wait for him to come back. So if he told me. I would be hurt, but all in all I would most likely forgive him. "

:/ that sucks.

Quoting Mother of One plus One:" It <blockquote><b>Quoting ℳonster's ℳom:</b>" DH and I are the kinds of ... [snip!] ... SO for sleeping with another woman....but then again,I don't know if I could just walk away either kwim? We have a family."

That's what I told DH. I told him that I would be hurt and it would be hard for me to forgive him/trust him again. But if he was honest with me right up front I would be more open to keeping our family together instead of leaving. But I also made it very clear that if he cheated and lied about it, and when confronted continued to be secretive and lie I would be gone before he had a chance to say I'm sorry. My whole reasoning behind the second answer though is if my daughter grows up watching her mom be a push over she'll grow up the same and I wont stand for that.

Quoting .Sam.:" I wouldn't be able to forgive either way. What's stopping them from doing it again, kwim? "

I feel like they never change, honestly. I know a man that was married for 6 years when he started having an affair. He kept it quiet for awhile, he loved the woman, and then his wife found out. Ever since he begged for forgiveness, they have been working on their relationship and the marriage has been the best it ever has. However, she doesn't know that he's masturbating to another woman, like skyping and smurf- he's been talking to her for months; gets dirty pictures, etc. However, his wife will never know because like he said "their marriage is better than ever."
I know all of this because he's one of my really good friends and has told me. I call him out every now and then, make him feel like smurf... he takes it, and our friendship continues. He knows I'll speak my mind. It's just sad.

Quoting Raωkeℓ:" I feel like they never change, honestly. I know a man that was married for 6 years when he started ... [snip!] ... now and then, make him feel like smurf... he takes it, and our friendship continues. He knows I'll speak my mind. It's just sad."

I think it depends on the character of the person. Some people just can't change. I've seen serial cheaters become devoted spouses when they found the right person. I've also seen a devoted spouse turn into a serial cheater with broken promises to change their ways.