re: How to catch a cheater?

Yeah, we're on visiting status.
So I can leave.
Mason was born in NH, we're both illegal.

I tried to give him another chance.
I told him to come to the house to talk to me.
He said though text, no we can talk through this ( texting ) he said but I will try to get home? I said, no because you barely text back, get your ass home, your dad can pick you up. I said but if you text me after 530-600 I am so far from gone.
I said that because his new girlfriend had to go to work at 6:00 and that would prove he doesn't care.
And it is now 6:30 and I got no text to pick him up.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mason'sMommy;:</b>" I tried to give him another chance. I told him to come to the house to talk to me. He said though text, ... [snip!] ... girlfriend had to go to work at 6:00 and that would prove he doesn't care. And it is now 6:30 and I got no text to pick him up."</blockquote>

Smurf him. Thats rediculus.

<blockquote><b>Quoting lolajessup:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mason'sMommy;:</b>" My son was also born in America. In New ... [snip!] ... born in America. In New Hampshire, we live in Ontario, illegally."</blockquote> Oh so technically you're both visiting."</blockquote>




I think u cud leave then. Also. I moved outta state w my kids when i left their dad. He didnt fight it.. knew I was leaving. . If your dude dsnt have money for a lawyer chances are he wouldn't do anything either.. and likely his visitation would be one for parents more than 100 kiles away. Id even bet he's soo concerned about this girl he already considered u wud leave w your son when he decided to choose her. Honestly given u r illegal id say there is little to nothing he can do. Even be vindictive and turn him n too... then u both get sent home... im sure this would work in your favor

Quoting Mason'sMommy;:" I ask him and he says they are just " close " friends. And he deleted his Facebook, and I tried looking ... [snip!] ... and I tried looking at his phone, but he won't let me near it.. and he has a passcode on it that I don't know the passcode...."

The phone thing is all I would need. There's obviously a reason he doesn't want you to see it...you don't just do that if you have nothing to hide.

This whole thread broke my heart. I went through something similar a couple years ago...He almost left me for his ex

You are right to move back..staying under those conditions will really screw with you. I know that pain and have often wished I would've left even just temporarily to save my sanity.

Feel free to PM if you need to vent

I can't call on him, he is a citizen of Canada  
But I am returning back to New Hampshire Wednesday or Thursday.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mason'sMommy;:</b>" I can't call on him, he is a citizen of Canada   But I am returning back to New Hampshire Wednesday or Thursday."</blockquote>




Good   I hope things get better for you

-late in this.

whoa... I'm sorry an your only 17... holy effin cow. I apologize for you going through this..

he just took her side? have you tried contacting this smurf? wow I really dont know what to say. I'd gone bizurk but youll be better off home.. with your family

This same thing happened to me. I caught my ex-husband (father of my daughter) emotionally cheating with his coworker. I was hurt, left him in hopes of him realizing how it was without me. He didn't realize a thing until a year and a half later when he found out I was talking to someone else. Guys like that aren't worth it. I am not for throwing out things instead of fixing them, but some things you can't fix. You've tried. You have done nothing wrong, and you tried standing up for your family. Back then all I wanted was for my ex to just wake up, come back, and realize he was wrong. Now, I am SO happy that he didn't do that and cloud my chance at true happiness. Do what is best for you and your son. You need to take this time to focus on making the both of you ok without him. Everything will fall into place just as it should be.

As far as the coworker goes.. smurf that girl. Excuse my language, but I absolutely hate females like that. Never in my life would I want to cause any problems in anyones marriage or family. I just don't understand girls like that, and how they could ever be "ok" with doing that. But, you need to be strong, do not let your husband or her see any type of jealousy. My one regret, was belittling myself. Crying isn't going to get him back, like I said you've tried, now it's all about standing up for yourself and your son. This needs to be looked at as his loss, not yours. You're gaining your life back and a chance at true happiness. He's gaining a homewrecker. That is how it needs to be looked at by all sides in order for you to leave with some sort of dignity.

I am sorry you're going through this, and I know everything is a lot easier said than done   I am here if you need to talk!

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mason'sMommy;:</b>" I tried to give him another chance. I told him to come to the house to talk to me. He said though text, ... [snip!] ... girlfriend had to go to work at 6:00 and that would prove he doesn't care. And it is now 6:30 and I got no text to pick him up."</blockquote>



Wow...what he's currently going through is known as "the fog" and it doesn't sound like he's gonna pull his head out anytime soon, if ever. This "relationship" is at the new, fun, butterfly inducing stage and he is not ready to give that up to go back to a relationship with responsibilities. Just know it will NOT last. It never does... I'm going to PM you something, which I hope will help. I was sort of in your position last year, it sucked ass.

So sorry for what u r going thru, he is one bIg idiot for thinking his relationship with this girl is going to work out. He will get his payback when she cheats on his ass and breaks his heart, and then he will realize karma is a biatch and only get it then what he is making u feel like now.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mason'sMommy;:</b>" I can't call on him, he is a citizen of Canada   But I am returning back to New Hampshire Wednesday or Thursday."</blockquote>

Good for you. I'd make his ass come see you if he wants to see his kid too. Don't waste your money on that ass. This is the bed he chose so now he can lay in it.

I know u were talkin to someone back home but try not to use that as a way to mask your feelings and get Over him if u truly like this guy. Find a rebound first or focus on finding yourself before settling into a new relationship because right now you're not going to be in the right mindset for a new relationship and that could ultimately sabotage things. Good luck and I wish you a safe trip back to the us.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mason'sMommy;:</b>" I can't call on him, he is a citizen of Canada   But I am returning back to New Hampshire Wednesday or Thursday."</blockquote>


I just caught up on all the posts I missed. I'm so sorry he is putting you through this. However, I'm happy you realize the games he was trying to play and how he was trying to manipulate you. It's so good that you're standing up for not only yourself but your son as well, by not letting your husband walk all over you, play games, cheat, etc. You're setting a good example for LO by leaving now and not letting this bull crap play out any further. Please keep us updated and hope you have a safe trip back home to the states and get settled in peacefully.

Okay I warned him I was leaving.
and he is threatening to get a lawyer.
Please someone help, what are my rights?
I was going to leave tonight...