re: How to catch a cheater?

Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting *Lindsey*(12 weeks):</b>" I dont mean to sound rude if i do ... [snip!] ... just because we aren't married doesn't mean we don't plan on saying the vows and that we still should be living by them."

Yeah i dontknow what to say, to me it doesnt sound like he is depressed, sounds more like hes unhappy with his life right now, and doesnt know what the hell to do so just leaves her hanging and continues to be an smurf. But then again i do not know him or all the other details of his life so i cannot say for sure. Not too much was said about it in the OP`s posts.
Hope it all gets worked out soon for her, Specially since this is her husband, not her boyfriend.

<blockquote><b>Quoting lolajessup:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting *Lindsey*(12 weeks):</b>" I dont mean to sound rude if i do ... [snip!] ... just because we aren't married doesn't mean we don't plan on saying the vows and that we still should be living by them."</blockquote>

I totally get what you're saying and I think you always give great advice, and you might be totally right about all this, but I'm getting the impression he's done something wrong and feels guilty for it so that might be what led to the possible depression. I hope that makes sense, like I get the impression from the info she's shared that the depression is the secondary issue, not the cause. I could be WAY off though!

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mason'sMommy;:</b>" I would understand the depression as well. I was diagnosed with it. But it's the fact that he kept on saying " I did this to myself " " You'll find out soon enough " Like, wtf."</blockquote>

No no no. He can't be doing that smurf to you. That is so wrong. He needs to talk to you if he's gonna say stuff like that.

Quoting Mason'sMommy;:" I would understand the depression as well. I was diagnosed with it. But it's the fact that he kept on saying " I did this to myself " " You'll find out soon enough " Like, wtf."

Yeah i dont get that... kinda weird. does he mean like hes going to leave. or hes going to do something bad to himself...who knows. Was he ever actually diagnosed with it? does he take anything? Hope you figure everything out. i feel for you!

<blockquote><b>Quoting bananapancakes:</b>" I'd talk to someone and ask them about your rights concerning taking LO back to America. That's horsesmurf."</blockquote>

  just to be prepared.

Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mason'sMommy;:</b>" I keep on asking him if he is cheating, ... [snip!] ... I can be with her, but if she doesn't leave him then I would be alone I left my marriage". He's not being fair to you at all  "

i agree!

<blockquote><b>Quoting *Lindsey*(12 weeks):</b>" Yeah i dontknow what to say, to me it doesnt sound like he is depressed, sounds more like hes unhappy ... [snip!] ... about it in the OP`s posts. Hope it all gets worked out soon for her, Specially since this is her husband, not her boyfriend. "</blockquote>

Right. I get so sad at how easily marriages get thrown away.   it breaks my heart on here daily. But it's so hard when you can't make the other person stay or change. It really does take both being committed and working it out. *sigh*

Quoting ✰ Mrs. B ✰:" <blockquote><b>Quoting lolajessup:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting *Lindsey*(12 ... [snip!] ... the impression from the info she's shared that the depression is the secondary issue, not the cause. I could be WAY off though!"

Yeah i have no clue! She just said she thinks he depressed...not if he ever was acutally diagnosed with it. SO whos to say if he is or if he is just miserable with his relationship. But it should be dealt with either way. its not healthy for either of them or their son! I feel bad...i would hate for this to happen to me.

Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting *Lindsey*(12 weeks):</b>" Yeah i dontknow what to say, to me ... [snip!] ... hard when you can't make the other person stay or change. It really does take both being committed and working it out. *sigh*"

yes, marriage is tough! it is hard work sometimes.

<blockquote><b>Quoting *Lindsey*(12 weeks):</b>" Yeah i have no clue! She just said she thinks he depressed...not if he ever was acutally diagnosed with ... [snip!] ... be dealt with either way. its not healthy for either of them or their son! I feel bad...i would hate for this to happen to me. "</blockquote>

Yes, I agree. I hope he pulls himself together and puts forth effort for their marriage to work because it definitely sounds like she's been willing and trying and he hasn't. If that's the case I don't blame her for starting to question things and the possibility of moving out for awhile, ya know?

I've tried to much in this marriage.... for two years.
I cleaned up after him, I was there for him when his mom had cancer, I had his son, I gave up my family to be with him, and he does this...
I'm just so sick of trying.. I don't want to be in a relationship that the other person doesn't want to be in.
When he comes home, I'm making him sit down.
Even though he says he's just friend with Natasha, I'm going to tell him, it's me and his son, or it's her.
And if things don't change, we're leaving...

Thanks ladies.....

and no, he was not diagnosed with depression. lol
sorry for the delayed answer..
my mind's in a million places this week..
Oh and I failed to mention he didn't spend time with me Christmas. :'(
my favorite holiday.
he was in the room, texting all night and playing angry birds.

Quoting ✰ Mrs. B ✰:" <blockquote><b>Quoting *Lindsey*(12 weeks):</b>" Yeah i have no clue! She just said ... [snip!] ... If that's the case I don't blame her for starting to question things and the possibility of moving out for awhile, ya know?"

i would do the exact same thing. in fact i probably would have be gone by now. Men seem to get their smurf together a lot faster when we pack up and leave and they can realize what they had...

Quoting Mason'sMommy;:" and no, he was not diagnosed with depression. lol sorry for the delayed answer.. my mind's in a million ... [snip!] ... he didn't spend time with me Christmas. :'( my favorite holiday. he was in the room, texting all night and playing angry birds."

Dont worry about it! I totally understand. I hope you get some answers and that he agrees to talk to you like a normal husband and not get mad about it. Let us know how it goes. Good luck lady.

Quoting *Lindsey*(12 weeks):" Dont worry about it! I totally understand. I hope you get some answers and that he agrees to talk to you like a normal husband and not get mad about it. Let us know how it goes. Good luck lady."

thank you. <3
will definitely let you guys know...
I see us moving out.
been going on for about a month now.