First few months-

I recently just had my first child.
My son- Bentley Alexander!
He is absolutely amazing & I'm enjoying every minute of being a mom.
But I do have a few questions.
If this is too much information I'm sorry-
But I had my son on October 31, 2012 & tore pretty badly as well as having the episiotomy. I was pretty swollen for quite sometime & had to be put on a cathader. I was just wondering if at eight weeks after having my baby if I should still be aching in the placed where I tore/cut & was stitched up? I know these are things to ask my doctor but I'd like to hear things from moms who have been there & how they felt.

Any information/advice would be nice- don't worry about feeling you are giving too much info- I'd listen to it all at this point haha! Thanks  

I had a 4th degree tear & had stabbing pains for months after...but by about 6 months everything was fine & I tore through my rectal muscle. Some nerve pain is typical & part of healing. It is hard to say as you don't say what kind of pain you have, how often, constant, etc...so I can't compare. Mine would feel like someone stuck me with a needle...and sometimes, if I'd go to scoot over, like making room for someone to set down & not lift high enough & one butt cheek sort of dragged, I'd get almost a feeling like something ripped. It did NOT rip - but it would feel like it did - like a ripping pain. That happened for maybe up to about a year. Thankfully I don't need to move over too often.  

absolutely... my episiotomy bothered me for a year. The worst of it was over in about 4-6 months.. Did they tell you to do sitz baths when you got home from the hospital?

Oh goodness! Sounds about the same though.
Maybe not as bad for me.. but it is especially bad if I am up walking around for a while. I get super ansy & can't stop wiggling around because it hurts & tenses up so bad. Also if I scoot or sit directly on a hard surface it is also a pretty terrible feeling as well. If these pains are happening still is it a bad idea to throw sex into the mix? I'm so nervous to even try but I know the boyfriend [babies dad] will get annoyed if it holds off for much longer lol.

Yes, they told me I'd practically want to live in a bathtub haha! Which I have! That helps as well as medicine but I hate relying on medicine so I lay around alot because when I walk around for a while the pain gets terrible & to the point I just want to cry. The doctor told me everything was healing fine but with the amount of mess my body went through I just need to take it easy- which I've been trying to do.

Quoting mama crystallynn:" Oh goodness! Sounds about the same though. Maybe not as bad for me.. but it is especially bad if I am ... [snip!] ... the mix? I'm so nervous to even try but I know the boyfriend [babies dad] will get annoyed if it holds off for much longer lol."

It's only been 2 months, tell him to grow up. I waited 5 months - probably longer than I needed to, and it was fine by then...but that was when it seemed like it was okay. Before then I had NO sympathy or guilt for Dh & he gave me NO complaints anyway & was great about it (as he ought to be). I am not going to feel bad for telling a man he can't touch my painful vaj. If he feels pouty that my vaj hurts, he ought to imagine how I feel.

<blockquote><b>Quoting mama crystallynn:</b>" Yes, they told me I'd practically want to live in a bathtub haha! Which I have! That helps as well as ... [snip!] ... was healing fine but with the amount of mess my body went through I just need to take it easy- which I've been trying to do."</blockquote>




I had a episiotomy, 2nd degree. My DS is 4.5 months & I still get pains.
It hurts to have intercourse, I'm hoping it'll go away by itself.

Mine was a second degree as well & having intercourse is scaring me like crazy! I take medicine that help the pain a great deal but I don't want to take a step backwards by having intercourse too early.

<blockquote><b>Quoting mama crystallynn:</b>" Mine was a second degree as well & having intercourse is scaring me like crazy! I take medicine that ... [snip!] ... I take medicine that help the pain a great deal but I don't want to take a step backwards by having intercourse too early."</blockquote>




I got stitched to tight, I'm meant to rub cream on the effected area but it'll dry up my milk supply so I havent used it yet :-(
My intercourse hurts for the first few minutes & it becomes better and enjoyable.
Only have sex when your ready & if you do and it hurts to much then stop, it's not going to make you any less of a women because you can't have sex, you just pushed a baby out of there, I hope your baby daddy understands that :-)

Quoting Elysia Werth:" <blockquote><b>Quoting mama crystallynn:</b>" Yes, they told me I'd practically want ... [snip!] ... 2nd degree. My DS is 4.5 months & I still get pains. It hurts to have intercourse, I'm hoping it'll go away by itself."

I think it will - I had 3 epi's & a 4th degree & it did go away. Epi's are hard because you are *supposed to* naturally tear around nerves where as cutting is a straight line that can go right through a nerve & then take ages for it to stop misfiring. I seriously thought I'd never be the same - (I also broke my tailbone & that hurt much much longer0 but eventually it ALL went away. Hang in there momma. I am sorry you are still hurting.