Forcing sex

This is hard for me to admit but here goes. My husband is very pushy when it comes to sex. He sometimes gets it in his head that I want it and will "playfully" force me to the bed but I resist and tell him no repeatedly and it doesn't make a difference. He pins me down and takes my clothes off unless I get rough and can hit him hard enough to make him stop. I'm small and he's pretty strong so it's not that hard for him to overpower me. He seems to think that it's a joke but I have told him time after time that I don't like it and it brings up old feelings because I was raped and sexually assaulted in the past. I don't like feeling so out of control. I know that because we're married, I have a responsibility to keep him satisfied but I'm almost to the third trimester, I'm uncomfortable and in pain constantly, and my libido is pretty much non-existent. But he still tries to have sex with me every night and gets mad if I turn him down. I'm so sick of repeating the reasons why I don't want to have sex! It's like it goes in one ear and out the other. I don't really know what to do anymore. I'm so frustrated with feeling helpless and I don't know how to bring this up with any of my friends in real life so any advice you can give me is appreciated. Thanks in advance.

That's not play. That is sexual abuse and almost rape.

If he's pinning you down and forcing you to have sex against your will, that's called spousal rape. Tell him that and that it's not a joke, if he does it again, leave.

Does he have a rape fantasy?

I was sexually assaulted but I actually do have rape fantasy. It's common for people who were sexually assaulted to be to one extreme or te other with rape fantasy. It's not like bad rape, but it makes me feel better about my assault to allow someone whom I trust whole heartedly to do it.

The problem with what your husband is doing, even if u werew willing to allow the rape fantasy to continue, is that he's not respecting you when you say no in a serious way. This makes it more like real rape than a fantasy role
Play type thing. That needs to be worked on. If he desires for you to open up to that kind of play he needs to understand that you need to feel secure that if it becomes too much he will stop, and since he's not doing that it's making it hard for you to open up to that kind of fantasy.

Sounds like spousal rape to me.

I have been through this before in a long term relationship and I look back now and realize I should have done something and not let him to that to me.

I had that with my first boyfriend. i was 14 and he was 16.
I willingly lost my virginity to him but after that he'd be like come on come on and id say no but he would say "no you'll like it, u always enjoy it" and hed do it anyway.
especially with anal sex. Id ask him to stop but he'd say no he's nearly done and id just have to take it until he was finished, and I was also held down. usually face down which i prefered coz he couldnt see me upset. sometimes Id sit crying after but he wouldn't say anything.
since we broke up when I was 16 I realised that it was actually really bad what he was doing and thats why i have issues now with sex and stuff.
you need need NEED to really talk to him and find out if he really thinks your playing or if he is just messing and hasn't realised how much it hurts you and makes you feel smurffy.
dont stay in that environment. you shouldn't feel like you HAVE to have sex with them. it should be because you want to.

OP, that is not healthy. It's borderline rape. You need to start thinking about getting out of the situation...

What a smurfing douche. That is spousal rape and abuse. You are pregnant he needs to be gentle and not force you into anything you dobt wamt. You have a voice and can say no if you are not up to it. Dont have him make you feel otherwise.

That doesn't sound playful to me. If you tell him no then he needs to stop. If he does it again kick him in the balls. It's not your job to satisfy him sexually if you aren't up to it. He can use some lube ans his hand if he needs to get off so badly. If he keeps that smurf up you should really consider leaving if he doesn't understand how it makes you feel.

wow i am so sorry u have to deal with this, all i can say is this, its a form of abuse if not rape even.. because ur married dosent mean u have to endure this. he needs to see when a boundry has been crossed and explain to him how u feel... if he dosent take note then u need to leave. no one should be made to feel so sexualy helpless. sex should be 2 people wanting to make love not one feeling like they are being mentaly and physicaly forced.

That isn't borderline or anything, that is rape. un-consensual sex even when you're married, is rape. It's spousal abuse and what he's doing is wrong. Speak up and tell him no more, and if it doesn't, get out before it gets worse.

There are hotlines for this sort of thing--
Domestic violence:
http://www.thehotline.org/
(the website)
and the phone number
1−800−799−SAFE(7233)

Sexual assault:
http://www.rainn.org/get-help/national-sexual-assault-hotline


1.800.656.HOPE



please call them.

Quoting ***BGLICIOUS****:" What a smurfing douche. That is spousal rape. You are pregnant he needs to be gentle and not force you ... [snip!] ... into anything you dobt wamt. You have a voice and can say no if you are not up to it. Dont have him make you feel otherwise."

I know but sometimes its harder than that. Id say no and try and move but it didnt make a difference. like what this lady is going through. also she probably feels like I felt. like you have to do it. I thought if I didnt i was a bad girlfriend or he would leave me so i wouldn't fight him.

Quoting BG Secrets:" This is hard for me to admit but here goes. My husband is very pushy when it comes to sex. He sometimes ... [snip!] ... know how to bring this up with any of my friends in real life so any advice you can give me is appreciated. Thanks in advance."

You need to call the cops and leave now, because that is rape. And you are under no obligations to keep him satisfied. Sex is about 2 people making each other feel good, not some 1902 wifely duty smurf that.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ♥ laura-marie + 1:</b>" I know but sometimes its harder than that. Id say no and try and move but it didnt make a difference. ... [snip!] ... like I felt. like you have to do it. I thought if I didnt i was a bad girlfriend or he would leave me so i wouldn't fight him. "</blockquote>




That is not right! A marriage is more than just sex. You or anyone shoudnt feel pressure into something they dont want otherwise is an abusive relationship with no respect. Yes you are married but that doesnt mean you have to be a sex slave. Sex and making love it takes two to tango and is more pleasant when both are in the same page.

Op, you need to tell him flat out that you are no playfully playing hard to get. How his actions make you feel and that it needs to stop or you're out. He might Ctually think you're just being playful so if you let him know that you're not and you don't want him to act that way, and he still doesnt stop, you'll know where he stands and that he is intentionally raping you.
Married or not it is NOT your job to satisfy him sexually. It is your job to love and support him and the same goes for him. He is clearly not loving and supporting Lu if he makes you feel that way.