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gone

Is what over? It sounds like it can be worked out if the two of you really try. It takes mutual respect. He needs to be realistic about the money issue. Once he gets a few paychecks and catches up on things then he can talk toys. Maybe just tell him you understand what he wants and those are things he can get very soon, but you need to catch up on a few things first.

Honestly, I would think/say it's over when you feel like the fighting isn't worth the effort. Like when there is nothing left to fight for.

Ahh sounds like DH & myself sometimes lol. Let him have his hissy fit. Hopefully he's smart enough to realize this is the way it is & priorities come before toys.

He sounds like a child who was given everything and now has no concept of responsibility or about being an adult.

He is a child.

You don't ignore your partner. You two are supposed to be a team. If you cant communicate about something as obvious as money, then what can you communicate about?

And your child does NOT need to learn behavior from this man or be around someone disrespecting one of their parents.

Quoting lolajessup:" Is what over? It sounds like it can be worked out if the two of you really try. It takes mutual respect. ... [snip!] ... him you understand what he wants and those are things he can get very soon, but you need to catch up on a few things first."

I just mean our relationship. I am just really tired of the fighting and the near constant "what about me" smurf that comes out of him. When I was the only one working (for a whole smurfing year while he sat on his ass and did nothing) I knew what had to be done and I knew I couldn't just go blow money just like he should know. And it isn't even like for the rest of forever, just until we get our finances in order which should only take a month, if even. I just don't see why he cannot understand this.  

Men "boys" they never learn how.to grow. Up

Quoting Raindancer:" I just mean our relationship. I am just really tired of the fighting and the near constant "what about ... [snip!] ... until we get our finances in order which should only take a month, if even. I just don't see why he cannot understand this.  "

He can't understand it because he's a selfish child who does not understand priorities and responsibility. No self-respecting grown man would ever let his wife work full time while he sat on his ass for a year.

Quoting chelseacate:" Men "boys" they never learn how.to grow. Up"

Plenty of men are grown up and mature, and wonderful partners.....this guy is not one of them.

Quoting Red Bottom:" He sounds like a child who was given everything and now has no concept of responsibility or about being ... [snip!] ... about? And your child does NOT need to learn behavior from this man or be around someone disrespecting one of their parents. "

I feel like he is all the time. If I don't tell him what to do and how to do it then it doesn't get done. I feel like I am his mother. Like when I was working I would come home to a destroyed house with LO doing whatever the hell he wanted and DH had changed his diapers and left them in a pile on the floor. He straightened up for a bit but not long. It is crap that I should have to worry about leaving my child with my husband when I go to work. Which would be why DH is now the one with the job and I am now the one that plans on staying at home and caring for LO. LO deserves better than that but everytime I thought about leaving DH managed to sweet talk his way back.

Quoting Red Bottom:" Plenty of men are grown up and mature, and wonderful partners.....this guy is not one of them. "

Pretty much....if you hae to tell a grown ass man that he has bills to pay instead of buying a smurfing game, then yeah.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Raindancer:</b>" I just mean our relationship. I am just really tired of the fighting and the near constant "what about ... [snip!] ... until we get our finances in order which should only take a month, if even. I just don't see why he cannot understand this.  "</blockquote>


  I don't feel like you two should throw away your marriage unless there was abuse going on. But he does need to sit down and talk rationally and calmly like an adult with you. Maybe try talking to him in an understanding way. Make sure you use "I phrases" such as "I feel like we need to pay this off before we think about getting a wii". That way you're not making him feel attacked. I find this helps with SO. He gets so defensive when I say "you don't do this" instead I think for Ammon and phrase it before I say it and say "I feel like I don't get enough of this from you". Then he can't get defensive because it's how I feel and it's on me and not him. When guys feel attacked they just shut down and become asses. Idk why they had to be like that. But it's like they just get into attack and defensive mode.

Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Raindancer:</b>" I just mean our relationship. I am just really ... [snip!] ... just shut down and become asses. Idk why they had to be like that. But it's like they just get into attack and defensive mode."

I can't help it. Me telling him to get out was my shut down mode. When he screamed at me like that.. my ptsd kicked into full gear and I flashed back to my dad yelling at us like that when he was beating us.. It won't leave my head. I know he isn't my dad but it won't leave my brain.

Quoting Raindancer:" I feel like he is all the time. If I don't tell him what to do and how to do it then it doesn't get done. ... [snip!] ... and caring for LO. LO deserves better than that but everytime I thought about leaving DH managed to sweet talk his way back."

You can verbalize that it's just sweet talk....what makes you legitimately believe he will change over night, when he does the same thing over and over?

You deserve to be in a relationship where you enjoy yourself, and you look forward to being in.

Oh and now he turned his phone off...