re: TTC and age..

My mom had me at almost 40 and I'm fine. I don't see any reason not to, especially now a days.

Now if you have a woman who's past her 40s and is being told it's extremely risky... well... that just seems kind of selfish to me but it's really none of my business.

As for men, I couldn't care less. They won't have to bring that fetus into the world safely. I have friends with fathers who were in their 50s when they had their children and they're all fine. It's a bit unusual but it's no big deal.

I'd be way more concerned about someone young TTC anyway.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Viv, Ev & Gwen ♥:</b>" I'm really not seeing how what a parent chooses to do at night when the kids are asleep has anything to do with them not being as good of parents as anyone else."</blockquote>


Kids arent always asleep when parents choose to go out... or if u go out and are too tired the next day to want to deal w them. . Or hungover or whatever it may be. Most people cant really go out and party whether drinking or not and then get up at 6 or 7 when the kids want breakfast...

Once again.. a general answer to a general question.. i use to justify it like u sound to be but I know that I was often tired and possibly irritable the next day.. not to mention if you are killed by a drunk driver or you yourself are you are greatly affecting their life.. im sure of u pulled some stats most fatal accidents between 11-3 are alcohol related. 20 smthings generally dont think of this as a possibility.

Quoting sillygirltracyb_caius1222:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Viv, Ev & Gwen ♥:</b>" I'm really not seeing how what ... [snip!] ... some stats most fatal accidents between 11-3 are alcohol related. 20 smthings generally dont think of this as a possibility."

And parents over the age of 40 have a greater chance of dying while their kids are younger than parents in their 20's and 30's, but no one ever seems to think that's a valid reason to be against ttc after 40.

Acting like parents aren't allowed to have a life outside of children is pretty ridiculous. You don't have to be home 24/7 to be a good parent.

eta - and there's nothing for me to justify. I don't go out clubbing and drinking. I've been drunk 4 times in the past year and all times I didn't have my kid for the next day. Soooo.

Quoting Viv, Ev & Gwen ♥:" And parents over the age of 40 have a greater chance of dying while their kids are younger than parents ... [snip!] ... out clubbing and drinking. I've been drunk 4 times in the past year and all times I didn't have my kid for the next day. Soooo."

The risk of dying before age 18 if you are 45 at birth is 5%. It's a pretty small risk when you think that there is a 95% chance you'll be there.

Quoting justanothamotha:" The risk of dying before age 18 if you are 45 at birth is 5%. It's a pretty small risk when you think that there is a 95% chance you'll be there."

Aaand it's still a higher risk.

Like I said, idc if someone ttc at 40 or 50 or 80. But to say a 40 year old mom has an advantage over a 20 yo because a 40 yo is less likely to want to party is, honestly, a bunch of smurfing bullsmurf, especially if you're using drunken car crashes as a reason. There's valid advantages an older mom has, you don't need to pull crap out of your ass to validate waiting.

Would never personally try it out. People will if they want to, but that doesn't make it any less selfish, given ALL the cons.. At the end of the day it's our own choice, right

Quoting ♥ inês:" Would never personally try it out. People will if they want to, but that doesn't make it any less selfish, given ALL the cons.. At the end of the day it's our own choice, right"

The cons of TTC at 40 hardly outweigh the benefits. Certainly no more selfish than TTC at any age.

Quoting Amelia Margaret:" The cons of TTC at 40 hardly outweigh the benefits. Certainly no more selfish than TTC at any age."

I would rather see a forty year old TTC than a twenty year old any day of the week.

Quoting Back to Noob Status:" I would rather see a forty year old TTC than a twenty year old any day of the week."

This, 100%. Saying that will probably get you a lot of smurf because it seems like half of BG consists of 20 year olds TTC but whatever.

You speak truth, lol.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Raptor Jesus:</b>" This, 100%. Saying that will probably get you a lot of smurf because it seems like half of BG consists of 20 year olds TTC but whatever. You speak truth, lol."</blockquote>


Oh yeah! I think it is so strange seeing girls barely out of high school trying to have a baby and wanting to be done having kids by twenty-five years old...like 25 is old, lol.

I also think it is weird seeing people have three kids in their teens.  

Quoting Back to Noob Status:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Raptor Jesus:</b>" This, 100%. Saying that will probably get ... [snip!] ... by twenty-five years old...like 25 is old, lol. I also think it is weird seeing people have three kids in their teens.  "

I don't get this either..
I could not imagine having kid's now.. especially not multiple kids...

But I've got a friend who is 24 and has 3 kids and that's her life, she loves it.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Monkey Nuts:</b>" I don't get this either.. I could not imagine having kid's now.. especially not multiple kids... But I've got a friend who is 24 and has 3 kids and that's her life, she loves it. "</blockquote>


What's sad is that most of these girls don't have an education beyond high school (if that) or any work experience. They rely on their SOs to take care of them. They would be screwed without them.

At 21 I feel like a spinster, lol.

Quoting Back to Noob Status:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Raptor Jesus:</b>" This, 100%. Saying that will probably get ... [snip!] ... by twenty-five years old...like 25 is old, lol. I also think it is weird seeing people have three kids in their teens.  "

Earlier on TV there was a story about a local Marine whose baby was the first 2013 baby in a local hospital and this couple couldn't have been older than 18. I'm happy for them and all that jazz but every time I see it I can't help but feel kind of sorry at the same time. I get that a lot of these people say they're happy and that's great--I genuinely hope that's the case and I also wish them the best--but part of me believes a lot of them are going to end up realizing that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to make such life-altering decisions at such a young age.

People are so impressionable in their teens. They're impulsive. They're even irrational (I know I was). Making huge decisions at that point often doesn't work out in the long run. (For example, I wish I hadn't gotten four tattoos and all kinds of piercings during my teens... That smurf is ugly as sin and it hurts like hell to have it removed, not to mention it's expensive. If I could go back in time and slap my 17/18 year old self I totally would. I can't even begin to imagine playing adult by getting married and having children at that age. I couldn't even make good decisions about my body, let alone decisions concerning someone else's life or whether or not I should be legally tied to someone else.)

I'm turning 35 in a few months. I have an almost 18 year old, and an almost 2 year old and do want another. We had an accidental pregnancy that ended in a loss but we may want another someday. It DOES worry me, health risks to me and to baby, but I cant help but want another. I know I should be happy with the healthy girls that I have, but I want DD to grow up with a sibling, and I want DH to be able to have more.

Quoting Man. Bear. Pig.:" I'm turning 35 in a few months. I have an almost 18 year old, and an almost 2 year old and do want another. ... [snip!] ... be happy with the healthy girls that I have, but I want DD to grow up with a sibling, and I want DH to be able to have more."

At 35 your risks arent high. Good luck to you!