Is it normal...? (trigger warning)

Is it normal to randomly think of killing yourself when you aren't even particularly depressed? Sometimes I'll watch a movie where someone cuts open their wrists and it makes me think to myself, completely calm, "Hmm. I sorta just wanna do that.." It makes me wonder if that's what happened the time that I actually attempted it. I had just started dating someone and was actually pretty happy... then the next thing I knew I was, for no reason, taking a bottle of pills while walking home...

No sweetie....

Not normal.. I could picture myself doing something after watching a movie.. But, to actually *want* it to happen? No.

Not normal for me... anyway....

What would be the reason to just think of doing something so extreme for no particular reason? I can't even get my own mind around it, so to feel this way is weird to me. I definitely will never do something like hurting myself (now that my depression is being managed well finally), but sometimes I want to cut just to do it and see it. I used to think that was caused by my depression,  

Quoting Dansen Squeekerz:" What would be the reason to just think of doing something so extreme for no particular reason? I can't ... [snip!] ... well finally), but sometimes I want to cut just to do it and see it. I used to think that was caused by my depression,  "

Suicidal ideation is not normal at all. You should really pay closer attention to that and let your psych know. I had this when I was on a certain SSRI, and it got really bad quick. Thankfully I let some people know before anything serious occured.

I wondered what it would be like to drive down an embankment... I am completely happy. I felt horrible to think that.

Quoting ❤ ʘlive Oyl:" Suicidal ideation is not normal at all. You should really pay closer attention to that and let your psych ... [snip!] ... when I was on a certain SSRI, and it got really bad quick. Thankfully I let some people know before anything serious occured."

I'm on 3 different medications now, and they have helped me not feel as depressed as I used to. At first I was so happy the depression was gone, but now I feel kind of blank and empty, but not sad. I suppose that's better than crippling depression though. I see my psyche in about a week. I'll keep my eye on my moods more closely so I can let him know.

I think about suicide and I love my life and don't want to die
. But I would never take a bottle of pills or actually cut myself..wth??

Quoting Dansen Squeekerz:" I'm on 3 different medications now, and they have helped me not feel as depressed as I used to. At first ... [snip!] ... crippling depression though. I see my psyche in about a week. I'll keep my eye on my moods more closely so I can let him know."

I felt "jaded" and numb, but that was after the thoughts I would have. I was genuinely curious. You may be on too much.

Quoting Stl mama:" I wondered what it would be like to drive down an embankment... I am completely happy. I felt horrible to think that."

Random fleeting thoughts are normal, as long as you don't dwell. I understand feeling horrible though. It's a "Why would I think that?" kind of moment.

You need to tell your Doc about this. I would make a appointment tomorrow. This could get bad quickly. I hope it gets better

Quoting BareFootBabyMaker:" I think about suicide and I love my life and don't want to die . But I would never take a bottle of pills or actually cut myself..wth?? "

It's pretty extreme, huh? It's what kinda got to me last night when I was thinking about it.

Quoting ❤ ʘlive Oyl:" I felt "jaded" and numb, but that was after the thoughts I would have. I was genuinely curious. You may be on too much."

Maybe. I'll talk to my doctor about it. I just finally have felt like asking about it. I have felt this way whenever my depression is managed by medications though. I wonder if it's just a personality disorder.  

Quoting Dansen Squeekerz:" Maybe. I'll talk to my doctor about it. I just finally have felt like asking about it. I have felt this ... [snip!] ... I have felt this way whenever my depression is managed by medications though. I wonder if it's just a personality disorder.  "

Maybe you have more cicular depression. It can come and go in waves. I notice sometimes my meds are too strong and sometimes they are just right. But I have anxiety disorder and insomnia to boot. So many damn drugs. I feel blah sometimes.