I want to call off the adoption of my daughter but I'm scare

I'm 17 years old and had a baby girl a couple days ago, I put her up for adoption because I was pressured into it by my family.. I now want to get her back because I love her more then anything and need her as my own, I've been having nightmares the last few days and have been so misserable and worrysome about her sense I left the hospital.. She is with the adoptive family now but the adoption isn't official until tomorrow when I sign the papers. And I'm going to call the adoption off tomorrow instead.

But the thing is, I don't know if I should.. only because I don't want to break there hearts and ruin there lives, the flew all the way here from New york ( i currently am in Arizona ) and they spent the last two days with the baby and I know it's going to destroy them..

What should I do?? Should I get her back or try to move on without my baby? I'm so upset and confused!! I'm having so much regret.. Please help  

Is there anyway you can talk to someone like a counselor or social worker? You need to sort your thoughts and people that deal with adoption regularly, might be able to give you advice and help.

I'm sure this must be hard for you.... I would seriously think about how you will be able to take care of the baby on your own, financially and everything..... Would the baby's father be involved or did he sign off his rights, if he did u would not qualify to get child support from him to help take care of the baby....are u still in school or working? Who would take care of the baby then?

Do what is best for your baby. If you are not able to fully take care of the baby on your own and you have no help from family then it is best that she is with a family who can provide everything she needs. Babies are a lot of work no matter how old you are. However a good support system is essential. I would recommend counselling to help you through the process.

I have to say this is a very hard situation to be in and I will advice you to think very well before you make a final desicion. I also would like to tell you don't ever let anyone pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. If you heart is telling you to keep your baby do so but like I said think very well as this is what you really want to do before you make your final desicion. I know you are worry of breaking the adoptive parents heart but the way I see it is one way or the other someone heart is going to be broken regardless. Also if at the end you do decide to keep her, there are so many resources for you available. Good luck with everything!

No one can answer this question for you. You need to think about the reasons you had her adopted out, those are still valid reasons and adoption is a wonderful selfless choice that you made for her as her mother.
At 17 you will need help and support from your family and friends to be able to parent, do you have that? Do you have a way to pay for everything she will need? Have you finished school? Will you have someone to watch her while you finish? Do you have a job? Your license? Even if she never gets sick she will have 12 doctor's appointments in the first 18 months at her life. Can you get her to them? Do you have the money to pay for them?
You have to do what is RIGHT for her here not just yourself. You may WANT to keep her and I'm sure you would be a wonderful mother, someday but I think you should let this adoption happen and let yourself grow up and mature first. Et some counciling to deal wih your regret an grief.
Is the adoption open at all? Or is it a completely closed adoption?

These feelings are 100% normal

But you need to think rationally.

Can you care for the baby without family support?
Are you still in high school?
Is the father around?
Do you have insurance?

Would the baby ultimately be better off with you or with the adoptive parents?

Seek counseling. Find support groups. I'm sure that all birth mothers have doubts.

Quoting ~*~HeatherC~*~:" Do what is best for your baby. If you are not able to fully take care of the baby on your own and you ... [snip!] ... how old you are. However a good support system is essential. I would recommend counselling to help you through the process."

This. I'm so sorry your heart is broken, I can't even begin to put myself in your shoes.

Follow your heart. That's the best advice I can give you.

I know it's probably so hard for you right now. If you feel like calling it off, then call it off. If you feel like it's in the child's best interest to be with the adoptive parents, then let them adopt her. Is it an open adoption or a closed adoption?

Think about some thongs first. See if you can talk to someone before you sign the papers.

Do you have a job?
A car? Or a way to take baby to and from appointments?
Is her dad going to be around?
Can you financially afford her? Diapers, formula (if you don't breast feed), clothes, etc.
Are you able to get her insurance?
Will you have support if you do choose to keep her?
Are you still in school? If so, do you have a baby sitter for her?
Will your family be upset if you do choose to keep her?

Think about these things.
If you want to talk, feel free to PM me. I'm sure there are so many emotions you're feeling and this is so hard for you. I can't even imagine what you're feeling emotionally.

Good luck in your decision, sweetheart.

It's really up to you, i can't tell you which path to go down...I would consider every detail and think upon it. Me personally i couldn't give up my child, i'd find a way to make it work somehow..There are always places that can assist you. I hope you make the right decision for you and your baby  

I was adopted from birth. I can tell u i never felt my adopted mother didnt want me. I knew she made the choice for me and my welfare. I recently met her and couldnt love her more. I have had great parents who were able to take care of me and loved me very much. I consider myself lucky because i have 2 moms now. As much pain as ur in and scared please think of the life ur baby will have. I am 34 and just had my second, even as an experienced mom it is still hard. U have so much to do before u settle down to raise babies. U r giving the adoptive family a blessing. My birth mom requested that my adoptive parents tell me how much she loved me and that she wasnt giving me up because she disnt want to but was doing it to give me a better life. Please think very hard about this before u call off the adoption. Do whats best for ur baby and please get some counseling, it will help u tremendously. Im here if u have any questions, especially from the adopted childs view point.

I would do what's best for your baby. If you can care for your baby and it was just the pressure of your family that's bs. It's your baby not theirs. If you can't be without your baby then don't do it. You could really regret it. You will always wonder what if. If you are ready to be a mom and think you can handle it and feel its best then keep the baby. But if its really best for the baby to be with a good family then let the baby go. Either decision will be hard. I'm sure the family would understand if you changed your mind. It's a real baby and is hard for anyone to just give it away. Just make the best decision for your baby.

Bottom line is YOU are the mother. Do not worry about their feelings or your own personal wants.

A mother does what is best for her child without considering others or herself. Whether that is letting her go or keeping her, we can't tell you. Good luck sweetie.

Quoting BekaMommyofTwoBoys:" I was adopted from birth. I can tell u i never felt my adopted mother didnt want me. I knew she made ... [snip!] ... some counseling, it will help u tremendously. Im here if u have any questions, especially from the adopted childs view point."

I think it's so wonderful that you saw this post and were able to give her advice from the perspective of someone who was adopted. I had my daughter when I was 17 and I raised her. Let me just say, as hard as everyone tells you it it, it"s 100 times harder. All my friends were going out and going to college, having big white weddings, or even just going out to a bar on a friday night when they hit 21. NOT me, I was home and her father was long gone before she was 2. I did have a big support system and that's how I made it, but I am ashamed to say that once I turned 21 she spent almost every weekend with her grandma so I could be young. I was selfish most of the time, and that's NORMAL when you're young. Those feelings you're having right now about wanting her are also absolutely normal, it's the natural maternal instinct that kicks in when we have our children, and you have a lot of hormone issues right now. Everyone on here gave some really good advice, I would say talk to the adoption counselors at this point. Good luck to you, you're very brave for what you've done so far

<blockquote><b>Quoting MommaSav2:</b>" No one can answer this question for you. You need to think about the reasons you had her adopted out, ... [snip!] ... first. Et some counciling to deal wih your regret an grief. Is the adoption open at all? Or is it a completely closed adoption?"</blockquote>




That's a lot of appointments that are not necessary.