re: I want to call off the adoption of my daughter but I'm scare

<blockquote><b>Quoting Nicola =):</b>" Ah, gotcha. That does make sense actually. Sucks to have to do that though. I think wellness check ... [snip!] ... they can notice things I wouldn't even know what to looks for. My cousin is our Pedi and I trust her medical opinion very much."</blockquote>




Thats neat. I love their doc and trust him I just wish we didn't have to do seperate appts. It's so time consuming. plus since the health department does their shots we have to get a paper saying they had their check up before they get their shots. I know it's important but it's just time consuming.

Quoting Baby #3 (14 weeks):" <blockquote><b>Quoting Nicola =):</b>" Ah, gotcha. That does make sense actually. ... [snip!] ... to get a paper saying they had their check up before they get their shots. I know it's important but it's just time consuming."

Why not just switch to a doctor who will do both? It seems crazy to go to two different appointments in two different places

OP I dont know if you are on or not, but I think you need to get your thoughts together. I know how you feel. TRUST ME I DO. While it wasnt my first child that I placed, I know the heartbreak. I still have heartbreak to this day and I regret things so much. But that is me and my situation. And I know how it feels to have family pressuring you to do it.

My advice to you is to make a pro and con list of keeping her and then leaving her with the adoptive parents. Is it an open adoption?

Its going to hurt and you are going to cry for a while about it if you choose to leave her with the adoption parents. I suggest you see a doctor about giving you some sleeping pills and xanax to last a week. Because the first week or so you are really going to need them because your hormones are going to be all over the place and it will help you stay sane through this period. I know it helped me.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kelly&Coralie:</b>" Why not just switch to a doctor who will do both? It seems crazy to go to two different appointments in two different places"</blockquote>




Because I really like and trust their doctor. He's been with my family for decades. I like knowing that he knows my family history and I wouldn't have to start over with a doctor I know nothing about.

well no one can tell you what the right choice is. i would think long and hard about this, if your family pressured you into it and its not what you want you will never be able to live with the regret. there's a lot of help out there for teen mothers and single parents (if the dad wont be involved) and even if you did pull out of the adoption i'm sure your family would come to terms and accept it, just think long and hard about this. i couldn't imagine what your going through.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kimber-lily:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Baby #3 (14 weeks):</b>" Between check ups and shots if the ... [snip!] ... concern or a baby is sick there is no need to go to a doctor that many times. Not everyone vaccinates their children either."</blockquote>

In the us babies have well child visits (preventive health care) very frequently in the first two years.

<blockquote><b>Quoting MommaSav2:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Kimber-lily:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Baby #3 ... [snip!] ... In the us babies have well child visits (preventive health care) very frequently in the first two years."</blockquote>




And its not required. Don't make her feel if she couldn't take her baby to an appointment that she shouldn't be able to keep her baby.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kimber-lily:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting MommaSav2:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Kimber-lily:</b>" ... [snip!] ... not required. Don't make her feel if she couldn't take her baby to an appointment that she shouldn't be able to keep her baby."</blockquote>


Do you have anything else to add to this thread? Preventive health care is very important. Chikdren are able to beat cancer and receive early diagnosis of cognitive delays and receieve treatment BECAUSE they went to a well-child visit and their doctor noticed something that their parents couldn't have recognized as a sign of something. And children die or fall behind congnitively/developmentally everyday BECAUSE their parent couldn't provide preventive health care. Whether or not she can properly provide her child with adequate health care, I think, should be a serious factor In her choice to keep her child or not.
No not every parent vaccinates and some go on a different vaccine schedule, like myself, so actually I have an appointment every month for my kids until they are 3 1/2 because I don't do more than one shot (including no cocktails) in a month, so if she chose to vaccine on a schedule like ours she would actually have WAY more appointments than I originally stated. ThAt schedule was just for standard well-visits. And if she chooses not to vaccinate it should NOT be because she can't get her kids to the appointment or she can't afford it.
Ability to provide adequate preventive health care is a real, valid reason to consider letting a more capable family to raise her child.

Quoting MommaSav2:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Kimber-lily:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting MommaSav2:</b>" ... [snip!] ... provide adequate preventive health care is a real, valid reason to consider letting a more capable family to raise her child."

Why would I need anything else to add to this thread? What type of response is that? I asked a question, someone responded, I responded back... it's called a conversation.

I disagree with you, obviously, since I have already said my opinion. I don't think you should try and scare a young mother away from keeping her child because YOU think wellness appointments are necessary when they are not, it's not the end of the world to not take your kid to the doctor all the time. Why try to convince her of such a thing, it's ridiculous. Once a year, or when the kids are sick I'm sure is great.

Once again, OP: I hope you figure out what's best for your baby and yourself.

Quoting Alisonmarie:" I'm 17 years old and had a baby girl a couple days ago, I put her up for adoption because I was pressured ... [snip!] ... Should I get her back or try to move on without my baby? I'm so upset and confused!! I'm having so much regret.. Please help  "

You have to think of yourself here shes your daughter get her back, yes the family will be heart broken and upset but they can adopt another baby when the times right let them know how sorry you are but just explain how you've been feeling they should understand  

Quoting Due 12th March  :" You have to think of yourself here shes your daughter get her back, yes the family will be heart broken ... [snip!] ... baby when the times right let them know how sorry you are but just explain how you've been feeling they should understand  "

She NEEDS to think of that BABY and where it will have the better life. Not just her own wants and hormones

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kelly&Coralie:</b>" She NEEDS to think of that BABY and where it will have the better life. Not just her own wants and hormones"</blockquote>



She needs to think about both her and the baby. She could give the baby a good life and obviously she doesnt want to adopt if she goes through with it she might not ever forgive herself...

Quoting Gemmas mommy!:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Kelly&Coralie:</b>" She NEEDS to think of that BABY and where ... [snip!] ... the baby a good life and obviously she doesnt want to adopt if she goes through with it she might not ever forgive herself..."

Or keeping the baby ruins her life, she gets no family support, winds up on the street, and cannot support the baby anyway

It's about the baby's needs

If she can support the child, then by all means, she should keep it. But if the child really will be better off, then she should consider going through with the adoption

I'm not pushing either way. Just making sure that the baby will be well cared for

Also OP, if they gave you a bunch of money the right thing will be to give it back if you decide to keep the child.

It's normal to feel remorse and have second thoughts about a decision like this...that doesn't mean that it's the wrong decision and that she should not go through with it. I'm not saying she should either, but she needs to keep in mind the reasons she made this decision in the first place. Of course she wants her daughter, any mother would...but she needs to put her daughter's needs above her own.

And yes, that couple that's already had time to bond with this baby will absolutely be heartbroken.