I feel horrible..

I cheated on SO with a previous boyfriend  

I'm pregnant now... I feel dirty, gross and I just don't know what to do with myself.
I have cried every alone chance I can possible get. I feel as if I have failed as a mother.. as a wife.

How do I tell him?
I am getting an abortion. I just don't know if I want to tell SO or if I should just get it done and move along.


Story of how the cheating happened:
My ex was at a friends get together that I went to as well. We began having mutual friendly conversation. He asked about my LO and family, I asked how he was doing and if everything was going good for him.. Just simple talk and it felt normal. Nothing major happened.

At the time SO and I had separated because of multiple relationship problems that were taking place. BUT that gave me no right to go and sleep with someone else.

Back to the story, That night after leaving the get together he asked if I wanted to go get a bite to eat ( it was about 930pm) I said sure why not. We went out to eat, shared a couple laughs, spoke of memories.. He wanted to show me some of his recent art work at his studio. I thought nothing of it and went to see it. It was BEAUTIFUL! We sat down, had a couple drinks. I told him I was going to go home, he told me not to leave because we haven't seen one another in such a long time and I should just sit and chat for a couple more hours. (12:45 am ish now) I stayed. Had a couple more drinks. At this point there was no way I was driving home. I was a little too drunk.

He offered me his bed to sleep. I took the offer and just fell asleep. I'd say about an hour into sleeping he came and began to rub my back, kiss me passionately and I went right along  . He rubbed my entire body. Began to take my clothes off piece by piece and I began to do the same to him..
Then we went at it. Fell asleep next to each other and he told me "Babe, I missed these nights. I miss you. I miss us."
I felt the biggest pit in my stomach at that point.
That morning I got up quickly, Got dressed, went home and showered. Then went to pick up LO at my mothers.

When I got home I just began to rethink everything. I never told SO I still have yet to tell him. I just don't know how to tell him  

I know I did a dirty thing. I know I no longer deserve a man like SO  

Is it definitely his kid?

Ugh idk what I would do...

I didn't read the entire thing. All I have to really say is, regardless of getting an abortion or not, your SO should be told.

Quoting £egendary £ex:" Is it definitely his kid? Ugh idk what I would do..."

Yes. After going to the doctors and knowing how far I am I know for a fact that it is his  

Just get up your nerve and tell him. Is it definitely the ex 's kid?

Quoting Crystal Marie S.:" I didn't read the entire thing. All I have to really say is, regardless of getting an abortion or not, your SO should be told."

I agree! That's too big of a secret to not tell him.

How are you so sure it's your ex's kid, & not your husbands?

Either way though, your husband really should know what happened. & IMO the longer you wait to tell him, the worse.

You're certain the baby isn't your SO's?

I would just tell him. There is no way to break it easy...

<blockquote><b>Quoting BG Secrets:</b>" Yes. After going to the doctors and knowing how far I am I know for a fact that it is his  "</blockquote>




Just tell him exactly what you wrote about how it happened.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Crystal Marie S.:</b>" I didn't read the entire thing. All I have to really say is, regardless of getting an abortion or not, your SO should be told."</blockquote>




  
Your SO deserves to know.

Quoting WV momma:" <blockquote><b>Quoting BG Secrets:</b>" Yes. After going to the doctors and knowing ... [snip!] ... I am I know for a fact that it is his  "</blockquote> Just tell him exactly what you wrote about how it happened."

I'm just scared of what he might say/think.
I have no intention or wanting of going back to my ex but I feel like this entire situation will make him feel as if my feelings for my ex are growing.
I feel like he wont have anymore trust in me. KWIM?
That's why it's so hard for me to tell him. I have attempted many times but then I just can't speak it out for some reason. It's like I get stuck.

I think you should definitely tell your s/o about the cheating... I'm not sure what I would do about the pregnancy/abortion. I guess it would depend to me what his personal feelings about abortion are, and how he reacts to you coming clean about cheating.

Its not "cheating" if you were separated. I separated from my husband for a year and slept with someone throughout that year and he slept with other women. We lived separately and lived as if we weren't technically married for the year, he knows about the other guy and i know he was with others too. We deal with it...well he doesn't because he complains often about it.

<blockquote><b>Quoting WV momma:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting BG Secrets:</b>" Yes. After going to the doctors and knowing ... [snip!] ... I am I know for a fact that it is his  "</blockquote> Just tell him exactly what you wrote about how it happened."</blockquote>


 

You were separated at the time. Did you have an agreement not to sleep with other people, or you just feel guilty?

If you were separated at the time, that isn't technically cheating... If he will be supportive of you getting an abortion then I'd tell him.