re: I feel horrible..

Quoting Viv, Ev & Gwen ♥:" I think you should definitely tell your s/o about the cheating... I'm not sure what I would do about ... [snip!] ... it would depend to me what his personal feelings about abortion are, and how he reacts to you coming clean about cheating."

Keeping it is just not an option.
I rather not be raising my LO from SO & then another baby from another man with SO and having to explain to that child why they have an older sibling from SO but SO isn't their father...

Or maybe just tell him you cheated, not that you're pregnant...

Quoting BG Secrets:" Keeping it is just not an option. I rather not be raising my LO from SO & then another baby from ... [snip!] ... another man with SO and having to explain to that child why they have an older sibling from SO but SO isn't their father... "

...I didn't say anything about keeping it? What?

If you guys were having problems, I can understand why you cheated. No excuse for it, but I can understand. I would tell your SO/DH... he deserves to know. But he also needs to realize that the relationship was strained and you looked for affection in other places -- a LOT of women do that. Their current relationship is lacking, and someone else slides in and makes them feel amazing. Don't beat yourself up about it too much.

If you WANT an abortion, get it. But if you're having second thoughts just because it's your ex's and you're not sure how SO/DH will react.... wait. Talk to SO about it. And then rethink who truly makes you happy. I don't know why you and your ex broke up... but something made you stay that night. Just think about it. I hope everything works out! <3

Quoting kthx.:" If you guys were having problems, I can understand why you cheated. No excuse for it, but I can understand. ... [snip!] ... why you and your ex broke up... but something made you stay that night. Just think about it. I hope everything works out! <3"

Thank you!!
that was wonderful advice.

I stayed the night only because I was drinking too much and didn't want to get behind a wheel in that state of mind.

If I'm understanding right, you and your SO were separated so, no cheating happened. It doesn't change that you may feel guilty but if you weren't together you did nothing to cheat on him, and what happened was none of his business. It's not like you were together, you snuck out, screwed some dude and went back and crawled in bed with him.

You clearly state at the time of this occurring you were separated from your SO so you didn't cheat. I can understand the pregnancy issue but why you're saying you cheated I don't understand? If you want an abortion have one, should you tell your SO about it? Well considering you weren't with him when you got pregnant, the baby isn't his, you have no intention of keeping the baby well I don't know if there is much point, I mean it really isn't any of his business in that sense. Unless he is going to be emotionally supportive in that way and you think it would help then yes tell him.

Quoting BG Secrets:" I cheated on SO with a previous boyfriend   I'm pregnant now... I feel dirty, gross and I just don't ... [snip!] ... yet to tell him. I just don't know how to tell him   I know I did a dirty thing. I know I no longer deserve a man like SO   "

if u were seperated, you didnt cheat

We separated and made no promises or choices of not having other sexual partners.
I don't know if he was having sexual encounters with anyone else and I don't care.

But I do feel guilty because we were separated to think over things. Not to do things as a separated couple. I knew for a fact we would be getting back together. That it was just a break from each other.

SO didn't come back into our home for about another week and a half after it happened and I spent those days crying.
Omw home from work I cry.. I have spent so much time crying I no longer know what to do with myself.


I really don't want an abortion. I would love to have this baby but it's for the best of my family that I don't bring this child into this world.

<blockquote><b>Quoting BG Secrets:</b>" We separated and made no promises or choices of not having other sexual partners. I don't know if he ... [snip!] ... an abortion. I would love to have this baby but it's for the best of my family that I don't bring this child into this world. "</blockquote>



Well there you go then no "cheating" occurred. You state you made no promises to each other about having or not having sexual partners and you have no idea nor do you care if in that time he was having sex with anyone else. Therefor it goes both ways it is not his business what or who you were doing in that time as it is not yours what or who he was doing...... Now if you're saying you don't want to have an abortion that is a whole other story. Obviously you would need to be honest with him then.

Quoting xTJ:" <blockquote><b>Quoting BG Secrets:</b>" We separated and made no promises or choices ... [snip!] ... saying you don't want to have an abortion that is a whole other story. Obviously you would need to be honest with him then."

I don't want to keep it at all.

<blockquote><b>Quoting BG Secrets:</b>" I don't want to keep it at all. "</blockquote>




Well then go ahead and have the abortion and move on. You weren't together at the time, you didn't cheat, it is none of your SO's business and you have nothing to feel guilty about. If you think he can be an emotional support to you then tell him but telling him out of some unfounded guilt isn't going to help and will probably make you feel worse.

Yeeeeeears ago DH and I separated for 2 months, in that time he had casual sex with his ex a few times. Was it upsetting for me when I found out yes but hey he was single at the time, what or who he did in that time frame was none of my business, it wasn't cheating so just have to deal and move on.

Quoting xTJ:" <blockquote><b>Quoting BG Secrets:</b>" I don't want to keep it at all. "</blockquote> ... [snip!] ... the time, what or who he did in that time frame was none of my business, it wasn't cheating so just have to deal and move on."

ah, That made me feel tons better.

Shall I even speak to him on who I had sex with during our separated time?

<blockquote><b>Quoting BG Secrets:</b>" ah, That made me feel tons better. Shall I even speak to him on who I had sex with during our separated time?"</blockquote>



 

I wouldn't if I was you. I mean it really is absolutely none of his business.

Quoting xTJ:" <blockquote><b>Quoting BG Secrets:</b>" ah, That made me feel tons better. Shall I ... [snip!] ... our separated time?"</blockquote>   I wouldn't if I was you. I mean it really is absolutely none of his business."

agree