Abortion
posted 29th Dec
I'm considering getting an abortion and I just don't know what to think. My Husband and his entire family are very against abortion and though I know he'll support me in any decision I may make I know it would definitely shake him and he would have a lot of guilt. Adoption is absolutely not an option, I know it sounds selfish but I know that I can't carry my baby and give them away not to mention none of my family would be supportive of all that and I would be dealing with constant threats of them fighting to get the baby. I had awful PPD with my daughter and a year postpartum I'm just now starting to stabilize and be happy with my life. My hours at work just got cut and we're moving so money is already going to be tight with the three of us I can't imagine adding another on. I just feel like there's no way for us to make having a baby work and it's not fair for DD to lose out because we're barely making it paycheck to paycheck. At the same time though I've always been so adamant that I could never have an abortion and I really still don't know if I could. I feel like I'm going to puke I'm so nervous and upset and I have no one to turn to because everyone in my life will tell me my only choice is to suck it up and keep the baby. I just don't know what to do right now.
quoteposted 29th Dec
If I were in your position i would opt for an abortion. you've given a list of valid reasons to go with that option. And it would not be selfish or wrong of you to do so. You're thinking about your family and their well-being, good luck wih whatever you decide.
quoteposted 29th Dec
Does you DH's family already know that you are pregnant? If you believe that abortion is the best decision for you, then it's really none of his family's business.. Best of luck to you in whatever you decide!
quoteposted 29th Dec
No one knows it's just that he takes their opinion into great consideration and knowing their views he would know how they would feel and it would make him less apt to be okay with the decision.
quoteposted 29th Dec
Whatever decision you make, you CAN do it. Things might be tight, but you can make it work, and things will get better eventually. And if you abort, though it might be hard for you, if you're certain it's the best thing for your family you can hold on to that thought to make it through.
Perhaps you can look into getting a second at-home customer service job to do at night until money problems ease up. UHAUL has at-home emergency dispatchers on call during the hours the store is closed to deal with accidents and insurance and stuff, and a lot of call centers have tele-commuting opportunities. You should also call your local planned parenthood and ask about abortion counseling services. They can help you come to a decision in a supportive, unbiased environment. They're not pro- or anti-abortion. They want you to make the best choice for yourself and your family, no matter what it is.
Good luck.
quoteposted 29th Dec
I think you will have PPD again after having an abortion personally, I don't think thats a good reason to have one, i'm not telling you what to do, but my opinion I would try to get on meds to stable you out so that you don't get severe depression if you choose to keep this child.
quoteposted 29th Dec
Quoting BG Secrets:" No one knows "
If he is willing to accept and support your decision then that's all that matters, but please also consider that you can develop PPD after abortion or loss as well. I would seek out planned parenthood for counseling services.
quoteposted 29th Dec
I know he'll be supportive but I'm worried it will really mess with him, I'm worried about myself too. I just don't know if I can handle it but we really can't have another baby.
quoteposted 29th Dec
I agree with the mamas who suggested contacting a counselor. Do you think your husband will resent you for your decision?
quoteposted 29th Dec
Quoting Regina George:" I agree with the mamas who suggested contacting a counselor. Do you think your husband will resent you for your decision?"
I think he might but I'm not sure.
quoteposted 29th Dec
I read on another post you wrote that stated it might not be your husband's baby. What if it is your ex' s baby? Just don't make a decision you might regret take in all the pros and cons you listed above and make the choice that's best for you.
quoteposted 29th Dec
<blockquote><b>Quoting Royalty Couture:</b>" I read on another post you wrote that stated it might not be your husband's baby. What if it is your ... [snip!] ... don't make a decision you might regret take in all the pros and cons you listed above and make the choice that's best for you."</blockquote>
This is the Bg secrets account so posts are from different people
quoteposted 29th Dec
Quoting Royalty Couture:" I read on another post you wrote that stated it might not be your husband's baby. What if it is your ... [snip!] ... don't make a decision you might regret take in all the pros and cons you listed above and make the choice that's best for you."
The secrets account is open for anyone to use to post a thread they don't want on their own account. I used it before to ask a ? about CPS I didn't want my eldest's family seeing if they snooped.
quoteposted 29th Dec
Oh I didn't even realized that's what the account was for.
quoteposted 30th Dec
I think the first thing you need to do is sit down with your partner and talk.
If you are mainly concerned from a financial and MH POV then i think both of those aspects could be overcome, or at least supported.
It does need to be a joint decision. I hope you come to a solution that works for you xxx
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