<blockquote><b>Quoting PurpleBama582:</b>" Yes, people can change. This guy has been clean for 5 years, which is a very good accomplishment, especially ... [snip!] ... good friend, and not enough recovering addicts get the chance to have a lot of friends. People are afraid of that stigma. "</blockquote>




Addicts have tons of friends, my mom and uncle are apart of NA and you get a smurf load of friends in recovery. Lol just saying...

My only concern is that if you date him be sure you always encourage him to go to meetings, he's in recovery so he doesn't drink socially. You have to be prepared for what recovery means. He most likely will have a pretty active life to keep himself busy. Recovery becomes a lifestyle not just a choice. So you have to be willing to participate with him in certain ways like encouraging him to go to meetings, read his just for today book every day. Maybe read it with him. Don't get in the way of his time with his sponsor. Etc. encourage him to do his steps over if he hasn't already.
It won't be like a normal relationship but it can be worth it.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Daniee:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting PurpleBama582:</b>" Yes, people can change. This guy has been ... [snip!] ... Etc. encourage him to do his steps over if he hasn't already. It won't be like a normal relationship but it can be worth it."</blockquote>




Not every1 *needs* NA or AA to stay sober... I've gone to those meetings and they depressed me more than when I was using... I've been sober for over 3 1/2 years... and live a very normal life... I just don't do drugs... lol simple as that

Quoting Daniee:" <blockquote><b>Quoting PurpleBama582:</b>" Yes, people can change. This guy has been ... [snip!] ... Etc. encourage him to do his steps over if he hasn't already. It won't be like a normal relationship but it can be worth it."

well he keeps busy. he works 2 jobs, and is afull time dad. he doesnt go to bars or anything, he doesnt drink. im not sure if he does the meeting thing or not.

*i* do drink, too much, which im worried about drinking around him, etc.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Ailey+Lennon+Renner's Mom:</b>" well he keeps busy. he works 2 jobs, and is afull time dad. he doesnt go to bars or anything, he doesnt ... [snip!] ... im not sure if he does the meeting thing or not. *i* do drink, too much, which im worried about drinking around him, etc."</blockquote>




You would have to see what he's comfortable with... my husbands a pothead... dosnt bother me... he drinks beer and always has alcohol in the house and I could care less... in a social setting I do drink but I can't drink like before and I don't want to...
Being around any of that dosnt make me wanna go out and get high, some people it may trigger, some it dosnt...

Quoting Daniee:" <blockquote><b>Quoting PurpleBama582:</b>" Yes, people can change. This guy has been ... [snip!] ... Etc. encourage him to do his steps over if he hasn't already. It won't be like a normal relationship but it can be worth it."

Yes, you get friends in recovery programs, that's true and it's a great support system, but for people who have never had to go through recovery, they don't always want to be around recovering addicts. Which is a terrible shame, in my opinion, because everyone needs some encouragement every now and then.

Quoting DeanJade&Maksims Momma:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Ailey+Lennon+Renner's Mom:</b>" well he keeps busy. he works ... [snip!] ... want to... Being around any of that dosnt make me wanna go out and get high, some people it may trigger, some it dosnt..."

HE said it doesnt bother him at all. he did rehab 9 times before it finally stuck. he kept saying he just figured he wouldnt live that long. i dont think he would relapse any time soon, just worried about the future i guess, but i guess im getting ahead of myself. both my parents were addicts so its not like im naieve or anything like that.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Ailey+Lennon+Renner's Mom:</b>" HE said it doesnt bother him at all. he did rehab 9 times before it finally stuck. he kept saying he ... [snip!] ... i guess, but i guess im getting ahead of myself. both my parents were addicts so its not like im naieve or anything like that."</blockquote>




We never know what we *may* get ourselves into... there's nothing stopping my husband from getting into drugs and having an addiction same goes for me about relapsing... its a choice we make everyday...

Quoting DeanJade&Maksims Momma:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Ailey+Lennon+Renner's Mom:</b>" HE said it doesnt bother him ... [snip!] ... my husband from getting into drugs and having an addiction same goes for me about relapsing... its a choice we make everyday..."

very true  

<blockquote><b>Quoting DeanJade&Maksims Momma:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Daniee:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting PurpleBama582:</b>" ... [snip!] ... was using... I've been sober for over 3 1/2 years... and live a very normal life... I just don't do drugs... lol simple as that"</blockquote>

I know, but most cases people need NA.
Trust me I have been around this stuff my entire life.
My uncle has almost 25 years clean, my mom has 2 and a half.
My uncle also is a drug and alcohol counselor. I go to 3 or more NA events a year with my family.
I go as a support person to meetings every so often.
I dated a guy in recovery as well, he relapsed and I helped him get into a treatment center because I know head people and took him for free.

NA helps people so much, and rare cases don't need it like I said.
I also know that not all places are like Washington and are not as connected and family orientated. My uncles traveled to meetings and said he has yet to see the same support and happiness there is here through NA.
You also have to get involved in the programs and it can be a fun expirience not a sad one. I love NA events. And I'm a normie lol
I also met my current SO at a NA softball tournament. Which was a very fun exciting weekend.
They have things like that to stay occupied, committees to be on for dances they have as well.
As you can see I am very passionate about this stuff lol

I wouldn't just because I wouldn't date a guy with two jobs. I prefer a professional or someone with my education level.

Quoting khigh:" I wouldn't just because I wouldn't date a guy with two jobs. I prefer a professional or someone with my education level."

hes actually a social worker.. which is a profession..

<blockquote><b>Quoting Ailey+Lennon+Renner's Mom:</b>" hes actually a social worker.. which is a profession.."</blockquote>




But, if he has to have two jobs, they must not be high paying enough.I will only date someone that I don't have to support, has enough time off to go and do, and must have at least a bachelors degree. I'm getting my PhD in less than a year now and would prefer someone with at least a bachelors. Masters or PhD might be asking too much.

<blockquote><b>Quoting khigh:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Ailey+Lennon+Renner's Mom:</b>" hes actually a social worker.. ... [snip!] ... my PhD in less than a year now and would prefer someone with at least a bachelors. Masters or PhD might be asking too much."</blockquote>


Not trying to be rude but that's extremely stuck up!
I'm pretty sure love doesn't revolve around money and what a piece of paper says if your intelligent enought to date someone.
You'll have a hard time finding real love with those standards.

Quoting khigh:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Ailey+Lennon+Renner's Mom:</b>" hes actually a social worker.. ... [snip!] ... my PhD in less than a year now and would prefer someone with at least a bachelors. Masters or PhD might be asking too much."

LOL yeah thats incredibly stuck up. hes like 18 hours away from his masters. he makes plenty. he just likes to keep busy.

Quoting Daniee:" <blockquote><b>Quoting khigh:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Ailey+Lennon+Renner's ... [snip!] ... of paper says if your intelligent enought to date someone. You'll have a hard time finding real love with those standards."

I've got an SO. He's got a Master in Business and owns his own store. I don't care if it's stuck up. I've got some pretty high standards when it comes to certain things. Some people care about looks. I care about intelligence and wealth.