It still hurts losing my baby!

Hi my name is Alejandra I go by Alex. Well here is my story and sorry for misspells or bad grammar!

I tired to get pregnant for the longest time ever and it's even more hard for me because I'm not regular. I've already visited doctors so many time but its just to expensive, so my boyfriend started to ask his family member if I could take some kind of medicine sure enough they told him. It was Mexican medicine. Well I took it and I had my period on march 27 of 2011 and I had to take some other medicine to make me ovulate. Months went by and no more periods so I thought it didn't work so I just gave up. My sister in law went to visit us and I was wearing a yellow shirt with a belt around my waists and she told me take the belt off you're pregnant. No I'm not I said, I can't I haven't had a period or nothing and she said, you're pregnant go to the doctors and you'll see. Weeks went by and my husband and i were debating if I should go to the doctors, so I did end up going it was June 10, 2011 when they gave me the greatest news ever I was 9 weeks and 6 days. That day was the happiest moment of my life seriously. I even lost the color to my face and sat and got up from the chair like at least 6 times. I texted my boyfriend right away and he said are you lying. No why would I lie about something like that. So yeah I started to call everyone in my list telling them the news. Few weeks passed and my brothers girlfriend found out she was pregnant two so we were excited because we were only 3 weeks apart. So yeah, days later I had to go to the hospital because I started to spot and I got scared. At the hospital they told me I was having a mis carriage. I got sent home on bed rest because they said my cervix looked closed or something like that I wasn't really paying attention. A week went by and nothing happened so I made an appointment to ask the doctor to check me and to ask for an ultrasound, so I did get an appointment for July 19. I really don't know how many weeks I was because it was my first pregnancy so I had no clue! The day came of the ultrasound. I was scared but at the same time excited to see my baby but when the guy was checking for the baby's heart beat he couldn't find it and said there is no heart beat and you have an eptopic pregnancy and you need to go to the hospital right away. I just started to cry like a big baby! So I called my boyfriend he was at work and I told him I needed to go to the hospital. He left worked and meet me at the hospital were I was admitted and the next day I had surgery. The doctor told my boyfriend I was really lucky because the sac was about the size of a baseball and her tube got damaged she is lucky she didn't bleed a lot , so I had to remove the tube. So basically I only have my left tube. I was really depressed and I think I'm still depressed. Well months went by and I went to the doctors trying to see if I could get pregnant again soon but they just tell me wait. Later on we found out my boyfriends sister was pregnant too. I was sad to see both my sister in laws with their bellys wishing I had one to. So January came that was my do date my sis in law gave birth to a girl I was there and I helped named her :-) she was born in January 31, 2012. Then the other one had another baby girl she was born February 24. So know I see them grow and I cry at night knowing my baby would've been that big already and it's just really hard to hold them and hold my tears back I just feel this big knot in my throat and I'm really sacred to get pregnant again because I only have one tube left and I really really do want a baby. I ask my self what if I get pregnant and it happens again???

I am really sorry for your loss. Why is the Dr telling you to wait? There is no medical reason you would have to wait this long to TTC for a regular tubal pregnancy. The only time you have a really long wait is for something like a molar pregnancy. IS it due to age? How old are you?

Well they tell me the longer I wait the less chance I have of it to happen again so I don't know. I'm only 27. I turned 27 in August and I got pregnant 2011. I don't know why they are making me wait this long I've been wanting to do it like I did the first time but I'm scared because the medicine comes from Mexico without instructions and is way cheaper I only paid 100 and I got pregnant in Mexico that is like 10 pesos or something like that.

If they are concerned about your other tube they should be offering you an HSG. It shoots dye up there & looks at the tubes & their health (and the uterus)...that should be able to tell you if there is any abnormalities in the tube. Tubals usually don't "just happen" - they happen due to the fertilized egg getting caught up, so it's an abnormality either by nature or past infection or something. If you had healthy tubes it wouldn't leave you at ANY risk of having it happen again....and to my knowledge NO amount of waiting helps either....so they must believe there has been previous damage or malformation...so there is no reason NOT to do the hsg. An HSG can also break out minor scar tissue & resolve MINOR issues if they exist...it can't hurt, it can only help & maybe give you some real answers.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a baby is never easy and sometimes the pain can last a while and thats okay. Did you have any cramping prior to that? A tubal pregnancy rarely goes that far without excruciating pain. My mother had one and by about 6 or 7 weeks, her tube actually burst because the baby was growing too big for the tube. She had the worst pain she's ever felt in her life.

No, I had no pain at all. The doctor also told my boyfriend that there was no baby inside the sac no more that the body dissolved it or something like that so basically the sac was the one growing. I looked big for the weeks I had. Family would tell me I looked 5 months so I don't know.

<blockquote><b>Quoting justanothamotha:</b>" If they are concerned about your other tube they should be offering you an HSG. It shoots dye up there ... [snip!] ... scar tissue & resolve MINOR issues if they exist...it can't hurt, it can only help & maybe give you some real answers."</blockquote>

When I had surgery the doctor checked the other tube and he said it didn't looked damage but to make sure I needed to wait have my period wait and to go to the doctors to get an X-ray of the tube, but how do they want me to have a period if they don't give me Medicean to start and I ask them too.