Mother In Law

Well, I have a mother in law, as do most married women.. she is simply unbearable. I'm not sure what to do because she seriously is horrible. I've always tried to be nice to her, no matter what and it seems like she's getting meaner & meaner.

For instance; my husband and I have been together for three years. He had ONE previous girlfriend who he was with for less than six months. She STILL calls me Meghan, my name is Scerria. It's not even close. Another is "Robs ex girlfriend was GORGEOUS, I have no idea why he picked you." Nice, eh? Or how about "I want to be the first person to hold the baby since I can't be in the room while it's being born, even before her" Her was me.

She has it in her mind that she's going to hold the baby before me, before him, or anyone else for that matter. I told my husband that the doctors won't let her back there unless I say I want her back there.

The thing is I have no idea what to do about her. My husband knows how I feel about her and says things to her but still tries to keep the peace between him and her, which is fine because I understand thats his mom and he doesn't want to abandon her. I've asked her to go shopping, to just hang out at our house or her house, go get lunch, grab a coffee, go to a movie, go to the zoo, go catch a Tigers game, anything. EVERYTIME I ask her to do anything she says "Oh, I don't think so, I just wanna sit around." I suggest sitting around with her and she comments rudely, "BY MYSELF." She lives 35 minutes away from me and I drove the ultrasound pictures over there one day she said she would be home & she wasn't, I called and asked where she was and she said she decided to go shopping, which I suggested we did.. and she asked for me to leave my only ultrasound there for her. I told her no because thats mine and I want to keep all of the ultrasounds and she hung up on me.

I have a feeling it's going to get worse, she talks poorly of me behind my back to other family members and I can't take it anymore. With my hormones as crazy as they are, I'm going to explode soon. What should I do? ANY advice will help.

sadly it probably won't change. You don't have to have visitors right away so that will take away her I am going to hold the baby first. My MIL will say things to me about my husbands exs as well. She feels the need to update him on how they are doing whenever she gets the chance. I also would not have left my ultra sound with her either. She is very inconsiderate and sounds to be jealous of you. Just try to have as little interaction as possible and when you do kill her with kindness so the rest of the family can see what a psycho she is being.

wow! I'd die if my MIL was anything like that!!

I'm sorry, but I don't have to deal with anything like that so I can't really give any advice...

Good luck though...you sound like you're gonna need it!

That sounds like a nightmare. You have my sympathies.

It might not make the situation better, but since your attempts to be nice obviously haven't worked, have you considered telling her how rude she is and that you won't tolerate her shitty behavior anymore? Even if it doesn't help, you might feel better.

Good luck!

I also have a mother in law from hell and all I can say is if you have been making the effort and she is still being a cunt rag than she can go screw herself. That is your baby and you should be the first one to hold it. Your husband should be second. I have no more patience for overbearing and controlling in-laws as you can probably tell. Tell her how you feel and let her know that it is a shame she wants to behave in that manner and that you will not lower yourself to her standards. Remember her nastiness when she wants to babysit too. And it sounds to me like she is jealous of you and your husband having this baby in the first place. I know it sounds sick but some mothers get jealous when their sons procreate with other women. I have a mother in law just like that. If you ever need to vent, PM me.

Sweety, I have similar problem and she's also said some pretty horrendous things to me and about me.  It most likely won't change.  YOu guys need to set boundaries and let her know what is and isn't appropriate.  If she doesn't follow your rules, don't allow her to be around you or your baby.  You are responsible for that child and the influence she may have on him/her in the future.  It may get better, but it may also get worse.  I've determined there is NOTHING you can do to change her opinion about you.  Some people just never learned to grow up.  Just focus on you and your baby and make it clear to hubby what you need and that she WILL follow your boundaries.

Has your husband talked to her and asked her why she treates you that way? There has to be a reason, even if there's nothing you can do to stop her horrible behavior it might be nice to know why.

Best of luck to you!

I'm sorry--my MIL is pretty bad, but yours is worse.  First off, you're gorgeous in your pix, so her comments about how beautiful the ex was are just dumb.  This woman has issues, apparently.

As far as the baby stuff goes, I wouldn't even have her come to the hospital until after you deliver and have a chance to rest a bit.  And if for some reason she has to be there, tell the nurses when you get there that YOU want to be the first to hold the baby once he/she got there, or maybe your hubby.

Yeah, this woman's not going to change.  Just be civil to her, but don't go out of your way for her.  I'm sorry, hun!

Well with that attitude I woudn't even call her till AFTER the baby is born! There is no RULE says she has to be there! As far as her saying she wants to hold baby first, B/S!! You need to put her in her place NOW!!! If you don't she will never stop. I am a bitch, so if someone treated me like that they would not be welcome in my home nor would they ever have anything to do with my child. Cause she WILL talk about you like that in front of your child!! And that is totally unacceptable. Dont go out of your way to please her, that is what she wants.Your the mommy to this baby, if she wants to be involved she needs to be trying to please You!!! I would also tell your hubby to stand up for you!! And No they will not let her in delivery NOR will they let her hold the baby if you tell them not to!! Screw her, just show her if she cannot be nice and civil towards you she will LOOSE her grandbaby!!!

and I just noticed your not even due till Jan. Why is the whole delivery talk even comming up at this point? Way to early to be making any decisions on who will be there ect.

you are gorgeous by the way...she doesn't know what she is talking about and sad to say you guys may be better off without her around until she can learn the whole"If you don't have anything nice to say don;t say anything at all." If she wants to be involved with her grandchid she will need to get over herself.

Quoting RadMom:“ That sounds like a nightmare. You have my sympathies. It might not make the situation better, but ... [snip!] ... she is and that you won't tolerate her shitty behavior anymore? Even if it doesn't help, you might feel better. Good luck!”

In my case telling people that just added more fuel to the fire and they quoted everything I said and tried to make me look like a total bitch.

I don't know why the delivery talk has came up, me and my husband just talk about names but thats it. It was her insanity that brought it up.

I think I am going to start ignoring her and not trying to be nice because I've had enough of it.

And also, you guys are giving really great advice, I didn't even think about not calling to tell her about the baby until after it was born. I'm def doing that now.! I think since it's coming from me I should be making decisions like that.

I seriously think she's IN love with my husband, when we were first dating, she told me "If Rob wasn't my son, I'd date him, he's hot." Weird. I wouldn't ever call my child 'hot' that word is reserved for people that can date your child. She also had rubbed his leg in an inapproprate manor and Rob has corrected her many times. She won't stop & she also hugs him for way too long & tries to kiss him on his lips in weird ways. I don't think it's normal for a twenty four year old man to let him mom kiss him on his lips anyways.

He does stick up for me but sometimes, especially now, I don't feel like it's enough.

Thank you all for all of your advice, I'm def going to take a lot of it into inconsideration.

This site has been amazing for this kind of stuff.

Quoting Joseph & Ben's Mommy!!:“ and I just noticed your not even due till Jan. Why is the whole delivery talk even comming up at this point? Way to early to be making any decisions on who will be there ect.”

I think she should lay down the law ASAP.  I actually found it was easier telling folks early on that we didn't want everyone hanging out during labor early in the pregnancy.  Then when it was actually time, people weren't expecting to be there.

Oh Lord, she sounds like the mother-in-law from hell! I'm so sorry   Just know that she's the one with issues, not you. You've done nothing to provoke that sort of bitchy behaviour. Set the ground rules now and DON'T let her call the shots or she'll always think she can. And thank goodness you live far enough from her! If I were you, I wouldn't feel obliged to involve her in anything to do with the baby unless she starts treating you more like family.