Will this feeling ever pass?

I'm getting divorced. He moved out, was a cheating twat smurf, and whatever. He has his own place, and I was just there to grab something from him and drop off some of his clothing and smurf he left here at the house.

When he came out to the car I could tell he was upset, almost distraught looking. He gave both kids a hug and just rested his head down on them and held on tight... It broke my heart.

He was doing SO good when we were together. Getting the medical help he needed, was getting the psychiatric help he needed, he was starting to open up to people, and was a really hard worker. ( If you've EVER read any of my posts you'll know all his medical issues.).

Now? It seems like he's slipping back into his old habits. Holding EVERYTHING in, not going to the Drs, he can't afford his medicine, can't afford to live because he keeps taking days off work to move or whatever the smurf he's doing. It kills me to see him doing this to himself.

I texted him and just said " Hey. I don't know why you're upset, but I hope you feel better soon.".

Will the feeling of caring and concern ever go away? It makes me cry to see him like that. Because even though he was a pretty crumby husband, I still love him as a person ( outside of marriage), I love who he USE to be when we first got together.  . It's days like this that make me wish we could just stay married.

That is the father to your children - he will always hold a place in your heart. Its normal to care about him and his feelings and his well being. I would think it was more odd for you not to care at all.

Unfortunately, I don't have much advice but I am very sorry to hear about your divorce. Everything you're feeling right now is natural, you're only human....  

Hugs.

i've never been in the situation, but i can see how you are still concerned for him. that seems normal to me. hopefully, he will start feeling better soon and/or the feelings of concern will start to diminish for you. sorry, you're going through this. i hope things work out for you.

Quoting Emily Dickinson:" That is the father to your children - he will always hold a place in your heart. Its normal to care about ... [snip!] ... Its normal to care about him and his feelings and his well being. I would think it was more odd for you not to care at all."

I know he will always hold a special place in my heart. But to see him so upset physically upsets me. And I know that feelings not mutual. ( At least I don't think it is.). I'm confident in our divorce. We are two COMPLETELY different people who want TWO COMPLETELY different things. We were never going to work. But to watch him crumble and throw away his life is depressing.

Quoting Allure:" Unfortunately, I don't have much advice but I am very sorry to hear about your divorce. Everything you're feeling right now is natural, you're only human....   Hugs."

Thank you. I got a text back and all it said was " I'm fine. Thanks."...  . I know he's not fine, and I know he's not going to open up to me because he's already engaged to someone else and it'd piss her off to know I was "counseling him.". ( I told you, he's a twat lol).

Quoting MommaNoodle:" i've never been in the situation, but i can see how you are still concerned for him. that seems normal ... [snip!] ... the feelings of concern will start to diminish for you. sorry, you're going through this. i hope things work out for you. "

Thanks. I just wish it didn't hurt so bad. I haven't cried in weeks over this.. and here I am sobbing...

He is the father of ur kids you will always have these feelings. Do u know how many tImes i want to hug/txt my ex cuz he is feeling down/depressed?

ALOT!!

Quoting Tat'd Bitch+3:" He is the father of ur kids you will always have these feelings. Do u know how many tImes i want to hug/txt my ex cuz he is feeling down/depressed? ALOT!!"

Do you?

No, you'll always care.

My eldest's daughter's father is a heroin and meth addict. He abuses pills and alcohol and has some pretty deep psychological issues he really needs therapy and medication for, but he can't/won't seek help. He's honestly been a pos, he barely sees our daughter, made me have to drop out of school, almost got me evicted because he stole my rent money, actually got me evicted because he lost me my job, stole our food stamps money so I had to ask my mom to cover groceries for a whole month.... it just goes on and on. It's been 4 years of this smurf but I still love and care about him deeply, and I worry he's going to OD.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:</b>" Do you?"</blockquote>




No, i dont. Because he has moved on & so have i but its still hard.

Quoting Viv, Ev & Gwen ♥:" No, you'll always care. My eldest's daughter's father is a heroin and meth addict. He abuses pills and ... [snip!] ... just goes on and on. It's been 4 years of this smurf but I still love and care about him deeply, and I worry he's going to OD."

 . I'm very sorry.

I just feel like I was meant to "rescue" him in a way... And now that I'm not there, who's going to do everything I did? And I don't mean that in a cocky way at all.

And like you, I could write a book on all the smurf he's done, but everything he's done doesn't outweigh how I feel about him. No matter how hard I try.  .

Quoting Tat'd Bitch+3:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:</b>" Do you?"</blockquote> No, i dont. Because he has moved on & so have i but its still hard."

This is all really fresh for me ( happened last month). And I literally have to FIGHT the urge to just text him and call him. And I do it pretty well, but then he calls/texts me for bullsmurf at least 6x a day. Just petty chit chat... And it kills me.

Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:"  . I'm very sorry. I just feel like I was meant to "rescue" him in a way... And now that I'm not ... [snip!] ... a book on all the smurf he's done, but everything he's done doesn't outweigh how I feel about him. No matter how hard I try.  ."

i think i kind of know what you mean. and i think that that is something you need to get over and it takes time. one day, you will come to the realization that his actions are his own choice, and while you may love him as a person, it's not good for you to have that responsibility on your shoulders. he is an adult and needs to be responsible for himself and his children. i'm not saying this to sound harsh, and i don't know when that realization will come. i assume it could be awhile since you had/have a deep emotional connection to him. but... one day it will.

Quoting MommaNoodle:" i think i kind of know what you mean. and i think that that is something you need to get over and it ... [snip!] ... will come. i assume it could be awhile since you had/have a deep emotional connection to him. but... one day it will. "

I'm going into therapy after the holiday. So I hope that helps some to just have someone tell me it's okay, and give me steps to work on.