Smurfing anxiety I've had enough

I'm seriously sitting here crying, after throwing up because I'm that worked up, because I'm only going to have $500 after everything is paid this fortnight instead of the $700 I though. (My last post).

I'm sick of this, I have friends who live on far less and seem perfectly happy and content with their lives. I'm sick of getting myself into a state like this Every. Smurfing. Week.

I can't do this anymore I've made myself physically ill, I've brought on a autoimmune disorder prematurely because of the amount of stress I put myself under on a daily basis due to money. I feel like cutting myself and slitting my wrists just to take away the tension.

Its all to smurfing much.

Well if it makes you feel better DH and I will have a big fat 0 on our bank account balance for a week   Thankfully we have diapers, formula, and food but i'm worried about gas for my car so DH can get to work.

that isnt anything to worry about...

all your bills are PAID -- and you have $500 EXTRA for the fortnight... that's not bad sweetie. chill the smurf out :-) smile!

Quoting Madi's*Mama:" Well if it makes you feel better DH and I will have a big fat 0 on our bank account balance for a week ... [snip!] ... for a week   Thankfully we have diapers, formula, and food but i'm worried about gas for my car so DH can get to work. "

I know how you feel ... I've been there many many times (actually most weeks) ... and I've actually been bankrupt in the past. I just can't help being terrified. I check my bank account up to 12 times a day (even at 1am to see if anything has gone out at midnight), and count whatever money in my wallet almost constantly.

<blockquote><b>Quoting The Master:</b>" I'm seriously sitting here crying, after throwing up because I'm that worked up, because I'm only going ... [snip!] ... basis due to money. I feel like cutting myself and slitting my wrists just to take away the tension. Its all to smurfing much."</blockquote>



My partner and I are trying to sell our house to move so he or I can work. At the moment my whole entire pay goes on the mortgage and electricity, the $700 gone. My partners pay goes on food shopping and bills, that's his pay of $400 gone all on payday and then we have no money at all till the next fortnight. It's driving me to depression aswell but fingers croaeee our house sells quick. Fingers crossed things look up for you too.

It's seriously okay!! We have almost no money and live with family and it sucks ass.

If we had £500 to last us 2 weeks AFTER bills with full cupboards we'd be laughing! That's not going to happen for us for a while though unfortunately.

Quoting The Master:" I know how you feel ... I've been there many many times (actually most weeks) ... and I've actually ... [snip!] ... times a day (even at 1am to see if anything has gone out at midnight), and count whatever money in my wallet almost constantly."

Yeah I'm also very anal about checking everything but this month was just a bad month for us. We over did it with Christmas presents, moved into a new townhouse so we had deposits for utilities and needed basic necessities, plus because of the holidays DH hasn't worked a full week all month. I'm not as freaked out about it as I thought I would be but I think it's because I know our bills are paid and we have everything we need for DD.

Quoting Sofia's Mummy♥:" It's seriously okay!! We have almost no money and live with family and it sucks ass. If we had £500 ... [snip!] ... 2 weeks AFTER bills with full cupboards we'd be laughing! That's not going to happen for us for a while though unfortunately."

I'd cry from pure relief lol

Take a deep breath!
I'm sorry your struggling with anxiety so much. Can you talk to your Dr about some meds, or possible counseling?
Can you get out of your house and get some exercise(proven to help with anxiety)?
I read your last thread and I have to say even with it being less that what you thought going into savings, having any savings at all is great. I have barely any. I'm betting you'll be just fine.
*hugs*

I wish I had $500 extra sitting in my account. I only have $300 and thats rare. sometimes it's only $10.00.

That $300 will be gone in 2 weeks for an unexpected payment that came up so then we will have $0 dollars in the bank until February.

Quoting Amber Willcocks:" <blockquote><b>Quoting The Master:</b>" I'm seriously sitting here crying, after throwing ... [snip!] ... It's driving me to depression aswell but fingers croaeee our house sells quick. Fingers crossed things look up for you too."

We were doing ok for awhile and then my SO lost his well paying job and had to get one that earned $700 a fortnight less (and it took him 4 months to get that). It then took me a further 2 months to get a full time job ... we got into a lot of debt in that time and have only just caught up on the overdue bills. I just don't know how much more I can take.

Quoting The Master:" We were doing ok for awhile and then my SO lost his well paying job and had to get one that earned $700 ... [snip!] ... into a lot of debt in that time and have only just caught up on the overdue bills. I just don't know how much more I can take."

You'll be out of the rut soon enough.

Can't your SO take over watching the finances for a while until you get your stress levels under control?
It's bad for you to stress so much, especially when you are going to try to TTC.

Quoting The Blissful Six:" Take a deep breath! I'm sorry your struggling with anxiety so much. Can you talk to your Dr about some ... [snip!] ... you thought going into savings, having any savings at all is great. I have barely any. I'm betting you'll be just fine. *hugs*"

I've been off meds for years because the cocktail they had me on (I'm diagnosed GAD, PD, BPD, and I'm a recovering hoarder), made it impossible to function. Basically I became catatonic. I'm on suicide watch for at least another 18 months (15 attempts over 12 years), and the last batch of counselling I had was CBT which helped a bit.
I'm scared of mentioning anything to my GP in case they contact the EMHT.

Quoting Monkey Nuts:" You'll be out of the rut soon enough. Can't your SO take over watching the finances for a while until ... [snip!] ... get your stress levels under control? It's bad for you to stress so much, especially when you are going to try to TTC. "

He would love to, unfortunately its a situation in which the less control I have the more I freak out

<blockquote><b>Quoting The Master:</b>" We were doing ok for awhile and then my SO lost his well paying job and had to get one that earned $700 ... [snip!] ... into a lot of debt in that time and have only just caught up on the overdue bills. I just don't know how much more I can take."</blockquote>




I know exactly what you mean. My SO had a very well paying job, he lost that, he took about five months to get a new one and it was 1.5 hours away and only paying 700 and almost 200 was going on petrol, 320 on the mortgage and then we had hardly any leftover for bills and food so we were struggling. If I could save as much as you do I would be very happy.