5th loss

So we found out today the heartbeat is no longer there. I have my D and C is scheduled for tomorrow, I jsut don't know if I want to go through this again! 5 times my body ahs gone through this, 5 times my mental stability has been altered..I jsut don't know if I can have any more faith at this moment in time. I always thought my main role in life would be a mother. To have that special bond and that everlating love...I am open to adoption but can not afford it. Insurance doesn't cover surrogacy so I am jsut at a lose right now. I know now is not the time but its just so hard not to.........rant over.

I'm so sorry for your losses  

Have they done any testing to figure out why you miscarry?

I'm so sorry.   and I agree with Mak!

I am sorry for your losses.  

you could go through fostering. A lot of children need homes and a lot of foster kids are looking to be adopted. Some people have to go through a lot of losses before they can have a viable pregnancy. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I am sorry to hear that momma. It will happen in due time and when you least expect it. As far as adoption. If y'all go through the steps to being a foster parents, They give you the option to adopt if the child is being permanently removed from their parents and you wont need to pay.  

yes i see a specialist and have had every test run possible...I do take several meds as well.


My girlfriend did fostering and adopted her 2 boys that way..I guess I really didn't think about fostering. Thanks everyone!

It jsut seems like we get on our way and then we hit a brick wall! I appreciate all your support!

My first three losses were early and were pretty much unexplained and then I decided to take baby aspirin for my last pregnancy. I made it much farther with her before losing her at 15 weeks to incompetent cervix. My OB said the baby aspirin can't hurt, only help.

Quoting Hopeful and Optomistic!:" So we found out today the heartbeat is no longer there. I have my D and C is scheduled for tomorrow, ... [snip!] ... cover surrogacy so I am jsut at a lose right now. I know now is not the time but its just so hard not to.........rant over."

I heart hurts for you I'm so sorry for your loss. This is so not right.. God has a plan. If you need to talk I am here.

Quoting had beautiful baby boy 9.:" I heart hurts for you I'm so sorry for your loss. This is so not right.. God has a plan. If you need to talk I am here."

God's plan is to make someone wants to be a mom more than anything suffer miscarriage after miscarriage?

I'm sorry for your loss  

One of the worst things you can say to a grieving mother is this is God's plan. It is insensitive

Quoting Amelia Margaret:" God's plan is to make someone wants to be a mom more than anything suffer miscarriage after miscarriage?"

No that is not what I ment and you should not take it that way. I have lost 3 of my own and I know she will be a mom and a great one at that so please don't make it sound like i'm being insensitive.

Every lady who has a miscarriage handles "phrases" in different ways. I had someone tell me it was "for the best" and i felt like it was a slap in the face. I believe in God but i'd be upset if someone told me that. Not trying to be rude, honestly, but like i said.. people handle things differently.

I am so sorry you are going through it again. It is incredibly hard to keep "hoping for the best" when the reality becomes you just start expecting the worst. By the time we had our first living child I had gotten so used to NOT getting a baby at the end of pregnancy the ONLY things I had were 2 outfits, a bassinet, a car seat & a bouncy seat someone had sent me via mail. I just couldn't bear the idea that "what if" and I'd have a houseful of baby gear. And I had all perfect tests up until then, yet still I was sure he'd die in birth or something. I figured there was not a great chance that *I'd* ever get to have a living child.

It's so hard...in so many ways. All I can tell you is that if they haven't given you a diagnosis the odds that you will go on to have a healthy child is like 85% if you keep trying, but I can't recall how many losses is averaged before then. :/ I know it's tough to keep hope, but if it is what you really want, then that is what you have to do. The one thing I did do before I had my older son was I finally got to where I could accept it for what ti was & just be grateful for each day I was pregnant & each day I got to spend with my baby, even if we weren't going to get tomorrow. They still touched my life in beautiful ways & I am glad to have been on the journey even if it's a painful one. I topened my eyes in so many ways & my heart & made me a stronger & softer & more compassionate & confident person, but before it did that, it destroyed me completely. You don't get over it, you get through it & who you come out as at the other end is someone who is greatly changed.

Much love to you as you find your way momma. I wish I could ease your pain even a little. All I can do is tell you I understand it & my heart has been broken & I truly though it would never happen for us & then it did.

Quoting had beautiful baby boy 9.:" No that is not what I ment and you should not take it that way. I have lost 3 of my own and I know she will be a mom and a great one at that so please don't make it sound like i'm being insensitive."

It may be comforting for you, but for most women suffering infertility that really is an awful thing to say. Someone said to me once and although I'm not a violent person, I seriously contemplated just how good it would feel to punch her in the face.