I need some help PLEASE

My sons preschool teacher passed away today. He's 4 and we've never had to tell him about death before. I know how to explain it to him but I also think since he saw her all the time he should go to the funeral home, am I wrong about that? I just don't know what's the proper thing to do here, we're so sad

How awful. (eta: awful that the teacher passed away, not at you wanting to take him to the funeral home. After I read it again that sounded super rude!!)

I wouldn't take Hailee to the funeral home, but she's super sensitive and I think it would bother her. She's 4 also.

I would let her pick out a flower arrangement and have it sent to the funeral home from her.

NO your not!!!! My Grandfather passed this June, I took my 7yr old to the wake and my 4yr old to the funeral... I was concerned bout my 4yr old not handling seeing my Poppy like that but I did let her go to the funeral since that process is closed casket... I have no regrets on my decision and neither has my kids... my 7yr old has handled it very well. And so hasn't. My 4yr old and I def think it has helped them understand death a lot better as well.

My daughter is 4, but last month one of the 3 year old classes teachers passed away suddenly, leaving behind a son in my daughters class. It was really hard to talk about. However, I didn't take her to the funeral home. I felt that was far too much for my 4 year old, and I didn't want her to remember the teacher that way. I wanted her to be remembered laughing and playing with them all in the gym, things like that.

So I shouldn't him? It's a church preschool with only 2 teachers so he was really close with her and saw her 3 days a week. If it was a grandparent he would go and he actually sees them less...I haven't even told him yet : (

<blockquote><b>Quoting summerbabyX2:</b>" So I shouldn't him? It's a church preschool with only 2 teachers so he was really close with her and ... [snip!] ... and saw her 3 days a week. If it was a grandparent he would go and he actually sees them less...I haven't even told him yet : ("</blockquote>



It truly depends on how you think he will react.

Maybe some things you could take into consideration, when making your decision.

Would he be able to see the body?
How he reacts when you tell him.
Overall how sensitive he is.

Everything is different with each kid. Mine wouldn't go. I can remember attending my great grandmas funeral when I was 5, and honestly it scared the crap out of me. But I saw the body and everything.

I would take him to the funeral... u cannot shelter your kids from having to experience this esp these days... he will need to understand how to say final goodbye's and know the process... a wake is one thing but a funeral is closed casket so he will never have the last seeing of her laying there lifeless... I think it is important u do esp if she was that much of an influence in your son's life

<blockquote><b>Quoting Elijah'S Wife:</b>" I would take him to the funeral... u cannot shelter your kids from having to experience this esp these ... [snip!] ... seeing of her laying there lifeless... I think it is important u do esp if she was that much of an influence in your son's life"</blockquote>


Funerals aren't always closed casket. All funerals I've been to have been open casket.

Yes but you are down South esp Texas, East coast laws you have to seal the casket before burial, they always do it after the wake before bringing the casket to church following the burial... everything here is different

Quoting Elijah'S Wife:" Yes but you are down South esp Texas, East coast laws you have to seal the casket before burial, they ... [snip!] ... they always do it after the wake before bringing the casket to church following the burial... everything here is different"

I'm in NH and every funeral I've been to has been open casket and they seal it before transporting it from the funeral home to the graveyard. OP As others said it really depends on how your LO reacts and if you think he can handle it.

That's Odd Nigel... my Poppys funeral was in NH and my fam tried to have open casket for people in Mass who didn't make it to the wake they said absolutely Not Commonwealth Laws with the casket having to be sealed and dried before burial which takes 12hrs to do

I was thinking we could just go to pay our respects and sign the book and he wouldn't even really have to go up to the coffin but just to go see his other teacher there and to learn that you go to a funeral home after someone dies. I really don't want him to see her body. Or just go to the funeral and sit way in the back but she's been a preschool teacher in the community for 35 years and there are going to be 100's of people that want to be there