I don't want it

the abortion I mean. my bf is pressuring me into having one and the more I think about it the more I don't want to do it. I don't know how to tell him and I almost feel selfish for not wanting to abort but it's just not something I could live with. he just didn't understand that though. to him is just a choice, for me it's a lot more. I would have to go through the pain...Not him, I would have to live with the guilt...Not him, I would haveto know that feeling of having a baby forced out of me when it's not my choice.

I just don't know how to man up and tell him that I am not getting an abortion. if you have had to deal with this how did you tell him? How did you stand up for yourself?

If you don't want the abortion then tell him just that. Let him know you're uncomfortable with the idea. This guy obviously doesn't want to be a father so you may also want to let him know that you will not be forcing him to parent.

I have never dealt with that kind of thing because every baby was a blessing for me.

But the only advise I can give you is it is your body and you have the rights to refuse the abortion.

Why does he want it?

tell him u dont wanna do it and that he can give up the rights after the baby gets here to make things easier and he wont have to worry about it

it is your body he cant force you to do it. Trust me you dont want to live with that kkinda guilt for the rest of your life.. its hard. If you wanna keep it, then keep it

Quoting Beanie's Breeder:" tell him u dont wanna do it and that he can give up the rights after the baby gets here to make things easier and he wont have to worry about it "

Not in all cases. Even if he gives up his rights, OP can still take him to court for child support which would be kinda smurffy IMO.

Well I can say I've never had to deal with this but I can maybe help you decide this. If he loves you, he'll respect your decision. On the other hand how can you be so sure that if you get the abortion like he asks that he'll stick around anyway and then you'll feel even more guilty because you did it for him and left anyway. He helped make this child so while he as some say in it you have more say since it's your body on the line, your health. Some women can have abortions and go on like nothing happened while others have 1 abortion and something goes wrong and you end up not being able to have children ever again. There is always adoption if you don't want to raise the baby or you can't raise it. I don't think you should go through with it because you'll be so affected by it if you do that your relationship with him will probably suffer anyway. Sit him down tell him how you feel. But just remember in the end, the choice is yours. Ask him if I get this abortion will you always be with me. If he can't answer yes in a second then there is doubt. I wouldn't get rid of an innocent child for a boy who is not ready to be a father. I don't know the whole story but if he didn't want a baby why didn't he strap up? Or wear a rain coat? I'm just wondering. I'm not judging by any means. I dont mean to be harsh or anything. I don't want to offend you. I'm actually totally on your side on this. I'm not totally gonna say I approve of abortions but I will say that there are circumstances where one would seem the better choice. You will have to decide if this choice has the best reason behind it.

You can tell him that you are keeping it, with or without his support. As the saying goes "No uterus, no opinion."

Mine knew my feelings on abortion before we ever got pregnant...I'd always told him that I personally would never get one. Then I got pregnant and he was shocked when I refused to get one. He said he just assumed that if we were ever in that situation, I would change my mind.

I told him my body, my choice, and that he could deal with it however he wished. He chose to have nothing to do with our son.

I was in a similar situation. My BD wanted me to get an abortion when I found out I was pregnant. I didn't know what to do, I didn't want to do it. So I told him no. Then he wanted me to do adoption and told me if I didn't he didn't want to be with me. I felt stuck. I was living with him, had no money and no place to go. I went along with the adoption until I was 16 weeks along, even went to an adoption agency and started picking out families when I knew in my heart the whole time I wasn't going to do it. I FINALLY gained the courage to tell him. He was extremely pissed, but he got over it and is still in her life and she's almost 16 months old.

Do what YOU want. Your baby will be there forever, a man can leave any minute.

Quoting PurpleBama582:" You can tell him that you are keeping it, with or without his support. As the saying goes "No uterus, no opinion.""

What a dumb saying.

Quoting Jas ♥:" Not in all cases. Even if he gives up his rights, OP can still take him to court for child support which would be kinda smurffy IMO."

I don't think it's smurffy. He could have been more careful to not get her pregnant. I know it takes both parties to get pregnant, but he shoulda thought about that before hand.

I have never been in that situation but he is not in charge of ur body tell him how it is ur not killing the baby because you want it and he can leave and forget about ya and the baby I would personally not accept his money (child support) or put him on the birth certificate but I have a stable job and would rather him disappear. But if u wana put child support thats ur Choice . what I hope happens is that he will get over it once he sees the baby growing and born that he will fall in love with u and baby and grow up and be a good daddy but not all guys do so just u take care and do wut you want a baby will bring u happiness no matter wut its a true love like no other I love my babies more than the dad myself and family good luck

Quoting Jas ♥:" What a dumb saying."

But it's the truth.

Quoting Lizplustwo:" Mine knew my feelings on abortion before we ever got pregnant...I'd always told him that I personally ... [snip!] ... I told him my body, my choice, and that he could deal with it however he wished. He chose to have nothing to do with our son."

That's smurffy on his part. I mean he chose to stick it in without making sure he was covered. I hate when men can decide just because they're not ready to be a dad they can just not participate but sometimes turn around and make 1 or more with someone else and be a father. That just pisses me off. But you did the right thing. Children are a blessing. I wouldn't trade my kids for any man.