re: I don't want it

Quoting Katie & Clay's Mommy!:" That's smurffy on his part. I mean he chose to stick it in without making sure he was covered. I hate ... [snip!] ... a father. That just pisses me off. But you did the right thing. Children are a blessing. I wouldn't trade my kids for any man."

Ugh you hit the nail on the head! He got another girl pregnant and married her. They're now expecting their second, after he gave up his rights to mine.

Quoting Amber; ღ:" I don't think it's smurffy. He could have been more careful to not get her pregnant. I know it takes both parties to get pregnant, but he shoulda thought about that before hand."

It is smurffy. Would anyone expect for OP to pay CS if she gave up her rights (adoption)? Exactly. If a woman can completely walk away from a child, a man should be able to also. Period.

Quoting Jas ♥:" It is smurffy. Would anyone expect for OP to pay CS if she gave up her rights (adoption)? Exactly. If a woman can completely walk away from a child, a man should be able to also. Period."

But for adoption, both parents have to give up their rights.

Quoting Amber; ღ:" But it's the truth."

No, actually its not. If I was to get pregnant right now, you bet your ass my husband's, my PARTNER in life, opinion matters.

Quoting Amber; ღ:" But for adoption, both parents have to give up their rights."

There's no difference, really. Its a double standard and you and anyone else can try to make excuses for it. Its smurffy. If a dude does not want to take care of a child, he shouldn't be forced to. If a woman was in that situation, people would be raising hell until they got heaven. BTW, there are PLENTY of babies who are adopted without the father's consent. All the birth mother has to do is claim she doesn't know who the father is. Happens pretty often.

Quoting Jas ♥:" No, actually its not. If I was to get pregnant right now, you bet your ass my husband's, my PARTNER in life, opinion matters."

It may MATTER to you, but he can't force you to do anything you don't wanna do.

Plus, I'd choose a kid over a man any day.

Quoting Amber; ღ:" It may MATTER to you, but he can't force you to do anything you don't wanna do. Plus, I'd choose a kid over a man any day."

His opinion being important to me =/= forcing me to keep or abort. Wow.  

Quoting Jas ♥:" There's no difference, really. Its a double standard and you and anyone else can try to make excuses ... [snip!] ... without the father's consent. All the birth mother has to do is claim she doesn't know who the father is. Happens pretty often."

I don't get how you see it's different. And I know there are women who do that and if they truly did know, it's smurfed up.

The men get the smurffy end of having babies. You know how many 'fathers' would just give up their rights so they don't have to pay CS?! It'd be ridiculous.

Quoting Lizplustwo:" Ugh you hit the nail on the head! He got another girl pregnant and married her. They're now expecting their second, after he gave up his rights to mine."

Wow and I was just saying in general on that part. Men can be such douches sometimes. I have two children and I can tell you both of their daddies, or should I say sperm donors, aren't worth a crap. My daughter is 13 and she hasn't seen her dad since she was 7. He spent 3 years in jail for trying to set up a sexual encounter with a 16 year old but it was an undercover. After he got out he wanted her in his life, she told him she wanted nothing to do with him, his wife, or her half sisters. My son (he's 5)'s dad is 2,200 behind on CS right now. He's too busy worrying about bar whores than worrying about his son. He is court ordered but the court system is just like a man. Don't do crap.

Quoting Jas ♥:" His opinion being important to me =/= forcing me to keep or abort. Wow.  "

Ya, I mean at the end of the day they can't force you to do anything. The ball is always in the woman's court when it comes to choosing what to do with a pregnancy.

Quoting Amber; ღ:" I don't get how you see it's different. And I know there are women who do that and if they truly did ... [snip!] ... having babies. You know how many 'fathers' would just give up their rights so they don't have to pay CS?! It'd be ridiculous."

And a woman should be fully prepared for that. When she decides to have sex, she is not the only one taking the risk of producing a baby. If she decides to keep it, she should make sure she will be able to take care of it on her own because you never know what cards life will deal you.

Quoting Amber; ღ:" Ya, I mean at the end of the day they can't force you to do anything. The ball is always in the woman's court when it comes to choosing what to do with a pregnancy."

Right. I didn't say it wasn't. I'm saying that I don't tell my husband to basically smurf off, its my body and I'll do what I want. I'd hear him out because I respect him.

Quoting Jas ♥:" And a woman should be fully prepared for that. When she decides to have sex, she is not the only one ... [snip!] ... it, she should make sure she will be able to take care of it on her own because you never know what cards life will deal you."

And so should the man.

Quoting Amber; ღ:" And so should the man."

The man should what?

Quoting Jas ♥:" Right. I didn't say it wasn't. I'm saying that I don't tell my husband to basically smurf off, its my body and I'll do what I want. I'd hear him out because I respect him."

I guess it also depends on how the relationship is with your BD. My BD and I were only officially dating for 2 weeks and had known each other 3 months before I got pregnant. There was no way in hell I was going to do something I didn't want to do for a man that I barely knew.