our son's first christmas is ruined....

thanks to my husband....he did his best to pick a fight, and altho i didnt fight with him....he still ended up cussing me out and putting me down. went to "sign a paper" for his direct deposit...came home 4 hours later....told his mom he was working (when he had the day off)...told me he was with one of his friends.....he has been so mentally abusive to me since we got married. hes always telling me i'm nothing and hes miserable and he wishes i would just leave...constantly calls me stupid...i even caught him cheating once. but im childish for not working things out with him for the sake of our son....i want to leave so bad i cant stand it, im miserable here and going thru pure hell.....im scared to death my son will grow up without his father bc i grew up without mine...and he uses that against me. he tells me if i leave he wont be in BJ's life....i dont want my son to know that kind of pain. but i dont want him to grow up thinking its ok to treat a woman the way my husband treats me.....im losing my mind....literally going crazy.....and everyone wonders why im such a bitch.....no one ever wants to see my point of view. just bc we have a son doesnt mean i have to let my husband walk all over me....but everytime i have the guts to leave...things start going great, he apologizes, and i fall for it. until he realizes im staying, then im in hell again. i have no job and no money to take care of our son....i dont have the proper education to get a job decent enough to support the both of us....and the only place i have to go is 4 states away with my family....no way to get there.....idk what to do anymore   when is enough enough? he has been telling me for the past week that he has a girlfriend, yesterday he said he was just messing with me. but his actions since he started his new job and especially this morning are pointing to a cheater in my opinion....am i just paranoid? i really wanted our son's first christmas to be perfect...but now his father isnt even talking to me over absolutely nothing. i can never get his first christmas back....

I would leave. It sounds like you are in a very toxic relationship. Especially if he is lying about smurf. And tomorrow is christmas. There is still hope!

I personally, would rather my son grow up without a father like that. He sounds like a POS. You and your son deserve better. You may potentially cause more harm than good staying with someone like that.

leave him. he's better off not being around someone like that. He will grow to think that's how men behave and treat women.

Quoting Super Mommy!:" I personally, would rather my son grow up without a father like that. He sounds like a POS. You and your ... [snip!] ... like a POS. You and your son deserve better. You may potentially cause more harm than good staying with someone like that."

I agree.

My ex is like that. And he left me 3 years ago. Andgood riddance! lol. My son is in a much better place without him!

Leave! I'm sorry you are going through this.

Ever heard the expression "I can do bad all by myself", yeah, you don't need him to be miserable. I'd leave. Call DSS, call around there's probably a women's shelter for abused women somewhere around you.

You and your son deserve better than that. You need to contact your family and see if theres anyway they can come get you guys. Your husband obviously doesnt care about you based on the things hes said and done. You cant do the same thing youve always done and expect a different outcome. Its not healthy for you or your son to be in that situation no matter how bad you want ur son to have a father. Your son will grow up thinking thats how women should be treated and he will never be able to have a healthy relationship and will end up doing the same things ur husband is doing to the both of you.

could your family send u $ for a bus ticket ?

i would leave sounds really bad ....honestly i would rather raise my kids alone then have a parent that threats the other like crap...ask if your parent could help with money for a bus ticket?

I would get out of that situation for your sons sake...you really are better off raising your son to respect you for your strength than to disrespect you and other women for your weakness.

This may sound a little harsh but honestly, your son is not going to remember this Christmas anyway...the first Christmas is really for the parents and he will only have pictures when it is all said and done. You need to put your happiness first, his happiness is based on yours

leave

I think your best option is to go. im 19 and currently pregnant with my first child i left the father because our relationship was not a healthy one. sometimes its better off with out a father if he treats you this way. unfortunately i am very heart broken and sad that my childs father dosent care if im there or not or if he sees the kid i dont want to have no male figure in its life either. but sometimes you have to go against everything and no matter how bad it hurts realize that you are strong and you need to provide the best for your child.

Don't let the idea that your not smart enough to make it.....Thats non-sense! Your son will be just like that one day if you don't show him any other way of life! Any man who truely cares about you two wouldn't want you to be miserable and wouldn't try to make you feel like crap (the whole saying he's got a girlfriend thing isn't right) There are good men out there that can treat you right and you don't need anything less than a good man!

I am in a similar situation. I am sorry that you are facing the sorrow and pain.
I am just trying to pull it together for my son, but the tears just keep coming. Idiots.