what would you do???

Okay Im 19 years old and my LO is going to be 1 on february 1st. My family is driving me up the freaking wall! My family doesn't like my BD or his family except a selected few of them. I am running into probelms when it comes time to getting both families together. Like say for christmas. They wanted me to run to 15 different houses so none of them would have to see each other. and then last month my sister decides to tell me her and her boyfriends family are having a birthday party on january 31st for my daughter and told me to be there. which will be her first party ever besides her baby shower. And now that her father is in her life I want him to be there for her first party. to see her first smash cake. all of that stuff. Its going to be important to her one day to know that her daddy was there. But now on the other hand I have people like my sister who dont give a smurf. And doesnt include the other family at all. well today i was taking her to work and she just came out and said im stealing melissa on february 2nd. and i said for what. well she wanted to take her to see an indoor monster truck thing. Miind you LO is afraid of loud noises. and has really bad allergies. And I said no to her going. well now im a bad mom because i dont want my sister taking her to see a monster truck show. I mean i could understand if it was to take her to chucky cheese or something but a monster truck show wouldnt be a good idea. not until she is older. also so doesnt even ask me to have my daughter for a day to spend time with her or ask to take her at all. she just tells me. which i feel is very disrespectful to me. I dont want my daughter around her friends or people i dont know. Maybe im just being over protective. Idk. I dont know what to do here anymore but they are going to drive me nuts. I dont think im a bad mom because i said no. I think Im in the right. i want her to have her family. Both families not just one. and i want people to ask me to take her not just tell me. how do you handle a situation like this with family and it not turn into a big fight. i just wish our families would grow the heck up and get along for the sake of my daughter.

There is no need for a 1 year old to be at a monster truck show if her mother does not want her there

i would do what I wanted to. If i dont want my child going somewhere, inwouldnt think twice or feel bad for saying no. its oyur life now..you live to take care of your child, not please your siblings that are grown up. Tell her to have a kid of her own. a baby at a monster truck show....yeah okay. you couldnt pay me to try that one. as far as the party... thats your call. if you want a party with everyone involved throw one yoursrelf and invite everyone.

Quoting Pistol Amber:" There is no need for a 1 year old to be at a monster truck show if her mother does not want her there"

I just think it would be so loud in there that it could hurt her ears. im sorry i love my sister to death but she doesnt think. and its in doors so if she sits upfront with her she wouldnt be protected from anything. and like i said she doesnt like loud noises to begin with and i dont want her to fall and get hurt. my sister cant treat her at a hospital or anything. only my mother, my grandmother, her father and i can

Bottom line: you're the parent & it's your responsibility to provide a good quality of life for your children. You are completely entitled to say no to anyone if you feel their ideas are unacceptable. You're also entitled to want everyone to ask your permission to take your child to do something. In fact, Idk why they'd assume it's okay to just demand someone else's child be with them in anything. Don't second guess yourself, they're in the wrong- not you. Best way I can think to avoid a huge blowout is to just have a sit down with each of them & explain what your feelings are. Remain clear & concise but don't make them feel called out specifically. But dealing with fam can be very tricky so I wish you the best of luck with this!

You don't have to have everyone together at one location to celebrate things. Just do separate parties/holidays. One with BDs family and one with yours. That way no one has to put up with people they don't like. Or host your own things. Invite everyone and let them know everyone has been invited and they can show up if they would like.
As far as your sister and the monster truck thing, don't even think twice about it. I really don't know of any logical person who would take a 1 yr old to a monster truck show.

Well as for the monster truck thing.... they ARE fun. I went a lot as a kid and Tony took me to a show one year for Valentines Day. They typically have kiosks to rent/buy really great headgear to help with kids hearing. But its not really unsafe, even if you are upfront. Most places will have a very clear danger zone and no one will be able to sit near there. They are fun. I saw wee ones there at every show Ive been to.

So yeah, you can make it safer. Monster trucks can be fun, I bought Lily a Monster Mutt hat at one   But if you are scared for her, dont have her go. You are the Mom.

And for the holiday, do what makes you comfortable too. Dont need to cause a hassle over nothing, ya know?