self mutilation in a relationship.

*This is a very sensitive subject, please try to be nice*
My partner is really new to relationships. He hasn't exactly had one before me. Self mutilation is a very sheltered thing in his country, it's not really spoken about or taught so he actually doesn't know what it is.

My first suicide attempt was at the age of 10, my dad saved me. I began cutting shortly there-after. I've gotten MUCH better at not doing it as often. Since I'm pregnant again, I've quit smoking which was my stress outlet. Now when I feel overwhelmed I cut. My boyfriend and I got in a really bad fight tonight. I thought we were going to break up, and being pregnant it's a traumatizing thing for me because my second child's father left the country when I was pregnant and never came back. I didn't meet my biological dad until I was 12. It is so important to me to have a family for my kids. Anyways, I cut tonight, really bad...my entire arm. My boyfriend gets angry when I do it and yells at me, which makes me want to do it more. I don't like it to be brought up or discussed, I just like to do it and leave it at that. How can I help him understand how to help me? What are some suggestions to avoiding cutting? The way I explained it to him is when some people get angry, they punch walls, break things, scream, or smoke. I cut.

I'm gonna pm you...

Have you gone to therapy?
Ask him to go with you, to better help him understand.

I don't want to offend you or seem harsh, but people that throw things, punch walls, scream, or smoke have a problem and need to seek help. Weather it be counseling, medication, or a nicotine pat ch. I hope everything works out for you, I would speak with someone.

Sounds like you need some professional help.

I would honestly ask him to go to therepy with you, it would help him understand better, and help you get better....maybe try to focus on something else when your stressed or mad, like a hobby...my sister scrapbooks and has recently become one hell of a baker....she gets upset and bakes up a storm...amazing cupcakes and cookies!   personally i have never gone through what you are, but talking to someone could definatly help.

Honestly the only way to help would be therapy you may think it won't help but trust me it does and it'll take time i haven't done this in 4yrs thanks to a counselor i would see and my babies ... I'm really ashamed of my marks now i wish i never did it but at the time that's the only way i handled my anger, frustration, and loneliness...so i know & understand

Quoting Layla's Momma ♥:" Sounds like you need some professional help."

  Agreed.

That sounds exactly like me and my SO. I went to the doctors, got on some medication and sought counselling.

Cutting is an outlet. But it is NOT a safe or healthy one. Your issues need to be addressed and you need to be able to deal with your feelings without cutting.

Get some help hun. For you and your baby.

I wish I knew how to help you  

But I just simply quit cutting once I got pregnant, get some help though. I hope you the best though!

Quoting LumpySpacePrincess:" That sounds exactly like me and my SO. I went to the doctors, got on some medication and sought counselling. ... [snip!] ... to be addressed and you need to be able to deal with your feelings without cutting. Get some help hun. For you and your baby."

I'm scared of taking meds while pregnant. I don't even take Tylenol.

Quoting Loka Lokita:" I'm scared of taking meds while pregnant. I don't even take Tylenol."

There are certain anti depressants that are safe to take while pregnant but t the very least seek counselling. It is not healthy behaviour and you need to stop. Trust me.

I'm sorry. I would really highly recommend seeking therapy. If you want to talk I'm available just PM me.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Loka Lokita:</b>" I'm scared of taking meds while pregnant. I don't even take Tylenol."</blockquote>



I get what you are saying about meds but think realistically, if you shouldn't get a tattoo or piercing while pregnant how is cutting different? The risk of infection and blood poisoning is huge not to mention blood loss.

Plus think of your child in the future asking about the scars, or my biggest fear becoming a mutilator themselves.
I have to constantly fight the battle myself if you need to talk I am here.

I had a lot of issues with cutting when I was younger. My depression was situational so like you I would get stressed and I would cut. Then I would feel guilty and disgusting seeing the cuts and scars and cut again to release that stress. It is a vicious circle and the only way I got out was to get therapy and find someone closer to talk to as well. I had a few relapses in my journey but when I would get that urge I would talk or write. You may have a different outlet but once you find it you can get better. My crisis counselor suggested, when I was first getting help, to wear a rubber band on your wrist and when you feel the urge to cut snap the rubber band instead. It gives you the release but doesn't leave you open to infection. I didn't do that because I wanted to break the cycle of using pain as a release but it's safer than cutting. I know how it feels to be trapped by self-mutilation and if you ever need to talk feel free to PM me as well. There are awesome people on here that can support you and relate. The more support you have the more likely you will be to succeed