Quoting ღSheilaღ:" I'm scared that he might hurt himself if i do end the relationship......I like the drug test idea though. ... [snip!] ... me and is such a great person when he's sober. I have faith that he can do this---which is why i think i still deal with it."
I stayed with SO for 3 yrs because of those reasons, but they weren't enough. When I left him nothing changed until I stopped letting him see our son completely. He took me to court, I told them he did drugs, they drug tested him multiple times which he failed and they ordered him to detox and rehab. He finally got clean(after all the suboxone clinics and methadone clinics that never worked when we were together).
Once I saw a MAJOR difference I told him I wanted to try to work things out. We were broken up for almost a yr at that point though. I had dated other guys, lived my life, etc. and it felt really good to know that I would be fine without him and I was really happy and less stressed out after I left him. It took me 3 yrs but I finally did it and it was the best thing I ever did.
He admitted he thought I'd never leave, that he hadn't respected me etc.
Now we're getting married in 2 days. He has slipped up twice and immediately gone back to rehab and meetings. He also lets me freely drug test him whenever I have suspicions. If he ever denied one I would know he was using again.
Honestly, I thought a bunch of times in the past that he had changed but he really hadn't and deep down I was lying to myself. He is a completely different person now and I can tell. He still gets bad cravings every single day of his life and it's a giant struggle for him but the difference is he's choosing to stay clean for his family and himself.
Your SO is smurfing around and not being serious. So yes, you should leave because otherwise nothing will change.