I feel like its all my fault

I feel like the disaster of this whole preg is all my fault. I know most of you don't know wtf I'm talking about but it's a super long story. Anyway, I am just super emotional and keep blaming myself for putting my tiny growing baby in danger and losing the other one that should have been growing with her.

It's my fault because I couldn't just follow gods plan for me. No. I had to be selfish and take clomid. There's the root of all of this. I feel like I'm being punished for ruining gods plan for me and my family. I hate myself for this. I feel guilty. And idk what I will do if I lose her because of this selfishness. It's all my fault and I'll forever be to blame. Idk what to think, how to feel, or what to do. My body, my birth experience, possibly my DDs health, everything will forever be ruined because of me   I guess as crunch time draws near for hospitalization I am getting more emotional and falling into a pit of regret, sadness, and guilt.

oh sweetie, you can't blame yourself! Scarlytt is going to do great and you are going to have two beautiful daughters! None of this is your fault!

<blockquote><b>Quoting A❤T=P+[It's a Girl:</b>" oh sweetie, you can't blame yourself! Scarlytt is going to do great and you are going to have two beautiful daughters! None of this is your fault!"</blockquote>



I just wanna shake everyone who wants to be induced and say don't do it and everyone who jumps on the clomid train too soon. I just hate my decisions I've made when it has come to my pregnancies and birth. I just want everyone to know before they make mistakes that they'll forever hate themselves for  

Hun, taking Clomid doesn't mean you ruined God's plan for you. And losing a twin is not your fault, nor Clomid's fault. All things happen for a reason and God's plan is to use us a messenger for Him. I think you are just being way too hard on yourself and beating yourself up because you are scared. You just need to have faith that everything will go smoothly and things will be okay. Pray for peace about the situation instead of allowing the fear to overtake you. Things will be okay. (((Hugs)))

Don't over stress mama. I'm sure your baby will be fine.
If you weren't meant to have her, you wouldn't have gotten pregnant. taking the meds or not.
Your getting close to your due date with everyday.
Just relax and try to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. I know your on restrictions but keep in mind it's all for your little baby.

That drug coming into play may have been God's plan. I'm not the most religious person. BUT if God had a plan for you, that was probably part of it. And losing a twin is quite common from what I hear, most don't even know and they absorb right back into everything. Though it's still tragic and I'm very sorry.   none of this is your fault.

Thanks ladies. It is stressful and I'm just overwhelmed with emotions. It's sad all I wanna do when I get to the hospital is sleep. I want to do nothing but sleep. I'm probably overtired from all te holiday drama, school ending, working, and te stress of all this.

Quoting lolajessup:" Thanks ladies. It is stressful and I'm just overwhelmed with emotions. It's sad all I wanna do when I ... [snip!] ... to do nothing but sleep. I'm probably overtired from all te holiday drama, school ending, working, and te stress of all this."

I'm not going through nearly what you are, and all I want to do is sleep. Lol Go for it. It'll be over soon mama.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Chelsea.J:</b>" I'm not going through nearly what you are, and all I want to do is sleep. Lol Go for it. It'll be over soon mama. "</blockquote>


That's the sad part. I wanted to be preg for 40+ weeks. This is my last an I wanted to enjoy it for every second. But every step of the way we've gotten more and more bad news. Now I'm being ripped short of my time being preg. I hate it. I hate seein people bitch about going overdue. I hate people bitching cause they're Too big. I wanted to get big. I wanted to go overdue. I wanted to feel labor. I wanted all of it. And now I get none of it. I took my first preg for granted so much and now it's something I'll never get back. It's just heartbreaking for me. I never wanted to say I can't wait until she's out but that's all I can say because she's not safe inside me. I feel like a failure because I can't keep her safe.  

Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Chelsea.J:</b>" I'm not going through nearly what you are, ... [snip!] ... she's out but that's all I can say because she's not safe inside me. I feel like a failure because I can't keep her safe.  "

No more for you guys?
We'll have matching numbers then! and all the girls can play together while we sip cocktails  

Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Chelsea.J:</b>" I'm not going through nearly what you are, ... [snip!] ... she's out but that's all I can say because she's not safe inside me. I feel like a failure because I can't keep her safe.  "

You're still getting your child. And that's a beautiful thing. Sometimes things don't go according to plan. But what comes from this at least, is your baby. NICU stay and all the hardships. You're going to have a wonderful baby girl. It'll be rough and everyone likes to say this but it'll be worth it. I don't like hearing people being induced at 37 weeks. or complaining. though I haven't been there just yet. Hold on mama. It'll be over soon   I wish I had more reassuring things to say.

<blockquote><b>Quoting A❤T=P+[It's a Girl:</b>" No more for you guys? We'll have matching numbers then! and all the girls can play together while we sip cocktails  "</blockquote>


Sam says no.   idk yet. I told him I wanted him to keep te option open in case maybe 5 more yes down the road I change my mind. But he says no he's only ever wanted 2.   well see but probably no more.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Chelsea.J:</b>" You're still getting your child. And that's a beautiful thing. Sometimes things don't go according to ... [snip!] ... though I haven't been there just yet. Hold on mama. It'll be over soon   I wish I had more reassuring things to say."</blockquote>

Thanks mama.