help, bad grades

My daughter is 9, she will be 10 in April. I just got her progress report and I am PISSED. Her grade in math is an 80%. Not bad, right? No, unless you break it into 3 parts as they do. Her tests were 92%. Her classwork was 98%. Her smurfing homework? Smurfing 50%. 50 smurfing %. This was a huge issue that I thought we fixed. We sit there and do her homework EVERY night. I make sure she puts her homework into her folder and then into her backpack. I don't know what else to do. I cannot get her to understand how important it is and why it IS a big deal. I told her she would be grounded and she just doesn't get WHY. Keeps saying she got an 80. IDC about the 80! It's the fact she isn't turning in her homework. The teacher doesn't even grade it, she just gives it a check if it's turned in. How smurfing hard is that? She would have a 96% in math if she was turning in her goddamn homework but she's ok with the 80!!! How in the hell do I get her to understand?!?! HELP! I am losing my mind with this.

I had problems like this when I was in public school (around her age up until my senior year).
Getting mad and yelling never worked and neither did grounding.
Maybe try having a parent teacher conference with her to see what all three of you can do to help her succeed.

My just turned 9 year old is the same way. We do his home work every day, yet he never turns it in. If my daughter wasnt sick this week I would have taken him to school and walked him to class to make sure he turned it in. After break if we still have the same problems I will be taking him to class every morning. He begs me not to because Ill embarrass him, and I just tell him tough smurf. Turn your stuff in then

I never did homework in high school and was getting a 96 in math. I would've had a 100 if I had turned my homework in. Sounds like she's doing the work and getting the results from it. I say either don't stress so much over her grades in the 4th grade that aren't even going to be seen on transcripts by colleges or maybe see if you can scan it and e-mail it to the teacher. Yelling at her and getting mad isn't going to do much when she's obviously still getting good grades and passing her class by at least an 11% margin. I really don't think she's going to see the benefit this early on as to why she would need to maintain a higher grade. My parents never believed I was too smart for my grade level classes and refused to have me tested for advanced classes so I stopped making an effort and my grades dropped to Bs and low As.

I would start treating her like a baby/preschooler and see how she likes it. I would go with to school and watch her hand her assignment to her teacher, she is bound to get embarrassed. Then is there anyway a teacher could tell you if she stops handing it in again.

Quoting Patti.:" My just turned 9 year old is the same way. We do his home work every day, yet he never turns it in. If ... [snip!] ... to class every morning. He begs me not to because Ill embarrass him, and I just tell him tough smurf. Turn your stuff in then"

Parents are not allowed to walk children in at their school or I so would. I just don't get it. She does the work, why not get your smurfing grade for it?!

<blockquote><b>Quoting Dōngtiān:</b>" I had problems like this when I was in public school (around her age up until my senior year). Getting ... [snip!] ... did grounding. Maybe try having a parent teacher conference with her to see what all three of you can do to help her succeed. "</blockquote>




This exactly. The way to fix it is through communication with her teacher and providing your daughter with a routine and accountability. See if you can't set up a daily log that goea back and forth between you and her teacher showing if homework has been turned in or not.

Don't try to shame her or punish her into doing it, that is a short term solution that yields short term results.

Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):" I never did homework in high school and was getting a 96 in math. I would've had a 100 if I had turned ... [snip!] ... and refused to have me tested for advanced classes so I stopped making an effort and my grades dropped to Bs and low As."

I never yell at her or get mad, at least not in front of her. She's in 3rd actually. She is repeating 3rd actually. I don't think you are ever too young to understand doing your best. And honestly, if she was turning in her work and making a 70, I wouldn't care. She'd be doing her best and that would be all that matters. I think another reason why it pisses me off so badly is she has dyscalculia. The schools wanted absolutely nothing to do with helping her overcome it. I homeschooled her last year and we busted ass to get her to the point where she was GOOD in math and completely understood how to get through her disability. And she throws it away by not turning in her homework. And like I said, even if she had made 70s in classwork and tests and 100 in homework (that's all you can make is either a 100 or a 0) I would be ok, she would be doing HER best. Right now, she's not.

Quoting Dōngtiān:" I had problems like this when I was in public school (around her age up until my senior year). Getting ... [snip!] ... did grounding. Maybe try having a parent teacher conference with her to see what all three of you can do to help her succeed. "

Same here I was getting Cs and Ds with a couple Fs. I did the work, but not well. I also failed tests a lot even when I studied. No punishments ever worked. My parents finally went the route of teaching me how to study for a test and stayed up with me to do homework. They also got teachers involved. I was a good kid, just a poor student who really needed the help. In high school I did tons better. Personally I think some of it was also my maturity level.

Quoting Moses.:" Parents are not allowed to walk children in at their school or I so would. I just don't get it. She does the work, why not get your smurfing grade for it?! "

Maybe if you called the office and talked to them about it they would work with you. Ive threatened to sit in class with him...he freaked. I think homework is just as important as tests. I think if you dont enforce turning in homework when they are this age, as they get older and into high school they wont do it either.

Keep an email relationship with the teacher to make sure she turned in her work. If its in her folder, shouldn't the teacher take up folders to get it out? That's how my nieces teacher does and she's 8

Quoting Clk:" Same here I was getting Cs and Ds with a couple Fs. I did the work, but not well. I also failed tests ... [snip!] ... student who really needed the help. In high school I did tons better. Personally I think some of it was also my maturity level."

I haven't ever punished her for a low grade overall. It's this issue. Doing her homework and NOT turning it in.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mann Makin' Mama[BBM]:</b>" Keep an email relationship with the teacher to make sure she turned in her work. If its in her folder, ... [snip!] ... work. If its in her folder, shouldn't the teacher take up folders to get it out? That's how my nieces teacher does and she's 8"</blockquote>




They start teaching personal responsibility around this age, an 8yr should be able to turn in homework.

OP- is your daughter on an iep or been tested yo qualify for one? I would think dyscalculia should qualify under the learning disability umbrella. She probably needs some sort of accommodation (extra prompts/ reminders, leeway on due dates, extra communication for you with her teacher).

Quoting Mann Makin' Mama[BBM]:" Keep an email relationship with the teacher to make sure she turned in her work. If its in her folder, ... [snip!] ... work. If its in her folder, shouldn't the teacher take up folders to get it out? That's how my nieces teacher does and she's 8"

They have a basket that they drop their homework into in the beginning of class. She switches classes, so she has to be accountable for turning it in in each class. I have asked for access to their parent portal but nobody can tell me how to even get access   I sent the progress report back with my email and phone number so hopefully the teacher will contact me today, otherwise I'll be sitting in the office until her free period when school starts back in January. But this isn't even an issue the teacher can help with unless she repeatedly asks her for her homework, which, she shouldn't have to do.

Quoting Spencer Pratt:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mann Makin' Mama[BBM]:</b>" Keep an email relationship with ... [snip!] ... needs some sort of accommodation (extra prompts/ reminders, leeway on due dates, extra communication for you with her teacher)."

IDK what IEP is. She does have a 504 for medical, and I have had so many smurfing problems getting them to even recognize the issue with math. Last year I finally pulled her out. Between the math issue and her medical issues I had enough. Now, EVERY meeting we have they tell me she's great in math so there isn't a need for the 504 for learning disability. Which, is true, she IS great in math, now. Because I took a year of keeping her home with me   Her counselor is trying to push for an OHI, but getting that is like pulling smurfing teeth. Hell, just getting the 504 for medical was hard as hell.