I wish I could say something to make you feel better, but all I can say is I've been there and I know how bad it hurts (in terms of feeling useless, etc.) But you're not! You are valuable and you need to realize that you are a wonderful, special person and there are people who love you and appreciate your existence. I also want to say that I admire your persistence with your SO, I can't say I would have the same patience in your situation. I hope for your sake he gets his smurf together and learns to prioritize.