re: Anyone know the law for new york state?

Quoting Sammi + Bailey *JAS08*:"   thats sad. We would never do anything like that but she has definitely done everything in her power ... [snip!] ... be less time to spend with us and doing what we want. She has a LONG list of requests that I think some are plain ridiculous."

your house, your rules. You're not obligated to follow her rules...

Quoting snglemama:" your house, your rules. You're not obligated to follow her rules..."

Its not about what goes on in my house more like what she wants done. For example During the summer she wants us to take the kids to their activities, I wouldnt mind it if we lived in the same state BUT we live in Jersey, shes in nyc. Thats tolls and gas. She wants us to pick them up friday, take them to their activity saturday and drop them off on thursday. Right now the bridge alone is 13 dollars and going up in march. The tolls for the turnpike are 3.60 one way. Its like 20 bucks JUST in tolls. And another 25 in gas. Im telling you she thinks we are made of money or have secret stashes. I wouldn't mind taking them to their activities but its out of state and expensive.

Quoting Sammi + Bailey *JAS08*:" Its not about what goes on in my house more like what she wants done. For example During the summer she ... [snip!] ... are made of money or have secret stashes. I wouldn't mind taking them to their activities but its out of state and expensive. "

again... unless the courts say you have to.. you don't have to during your time.

our papers specify... if I want to enroll them in something that interferes with ex's time.. he has to approve.. THEN if he approvs, he's responsible for half the expense, AND getting them there during his time.

this sucks.. because we have every other week type order... so I can't enroll them in ANYTHING without his approval.. and he won't ok anything

Quoting snglemama:" again... unless the courts say you have to.. you don't have to during your time. our papers specify... ... [snip!] ... we have every other week type order... so I can't enroll them in ANYTHING without his approval.. and he won't ok anything"

That sucks   I don't understand why people are like this seeing that its only the kids that can benefit from it. Guess they are just too selfish/bitter.


Its not in the court order. The court order simply states that we get them alternating weekends Fridays from 7 pm to Sunday 7 pm. And lists the names of the three kids. Her requests she sent to DH's lawyer. We are waiting for him to get back to us.

I know she is being a pain but they are right she does not have to send clothes even though for the kids sake she should... I would take them to the salvo or something like that and get them a few things just for this weekend... or even goodwill if you have one becuase you can get nice stuff for dirt cheap... my step mom used to do that to me and it was awful becuase of the stuff she picked out but it was better then not having any clothes to wear for the weekend... and homework does not take too long and I think that DH should help with it becuase it will help bond them a bit if he can talk to them about what they are learning in school... maybe not do it all at once and span it out through out the whole visit... a little bit here or there maybe?... I know mean mom had been no fun to deal with but this fight will all be worth it in the end... even with all the stress she has put you two through!! Good luck momma and let me know if you need anything!!

Quoting *beck-i* {JAS08}:" I know she is being a pain but they are right she does not have to send clothes even though for the kids ... [snip!] ... it in the end... even with all the stress she has put you two through!! Good luck momma and let me know if you need anything!!"

Thanks!! He just feels like shes doing everything out of spite, and I wouldn't be shocked if it was. I am looking in our basement to see if we have anything here from when they used to stay with his mom. Its just ridiculous that she has to be like this  

Quoting Sammi + Bailey *JAS08*:" Thanks!! He just feels like shes doing everything out of spite, and I wouldn't be shocked if it was. ... [snip!] ... to see if we have anything here from when they used to stay with his mom. Its just ridiculous that she has to be like this  "

from what I know about her she probably is but I think you just need to roll with the punches and be the better people in all of this... have fun with the kids no matter what she throws at you :-)

Quoting *beck-i* {JAS08}:" from what I know about her she probably is but I think you just need to roll with the punches and be the better people in all of this... have fun with the kids no matter what she throws at you :-)"

I agree   Its just frustrating.

Do you have kids that are in school and have homework? Why should his kids have to do their homework in the 4 hours that they have at home with their mom on Friday when they will have the whole weekend to do it? I'm sorry if he doesn't have the "patience" to sit there and do homework. That is one part of being a parent of children that are in school and I'm sure it's something he's gonna have to do more than once.

Quoting EC♥:" Do you have kids that are in school and have homework? Why should his kids have to do their homework ... [snip!] ... is one part of being a parent of children that are in school and I'm sure it's something he's gonna have to do more than once."

Yes my daughter is in pre-k and gets packets that are to be done over the week. She does one page a day right after her school snack. I always did my homework after school and made my brothers and sisters do theirs after school. Everything you learned that day is still fresh in your mind, rather then waiting until the last minute to do homework when they are less likely to remember what they learned. At least thats my take on it.

Quoting Sammi + Bailey *JAS08*:" Yes my daughter is in pre-k and gets packets that are to be done over the week. She does one page a day ... [snip!] ... until the last minute to do homework when they are less likely to remember what they learned. At least thats my take on it. "

good for you? seriously... everyone parents differently. She just lost a weekend with her kids. Idont' make mine do homework friday either... and certainly woudlnt' rush through my friday afternoon making my kids do it before they left.

I understand it's tough and I am sorry she's being that way. But I just think your argument about the homework that is going onnn and on is kind of crazy. Maybe you do things differently with your kids, but just because they're coming to your house and yall do your homework a different way doesn't mean she should HAVE to make her kids do their homework before they come over. It WILL become a regular thing and there is no reason they should have to not bring their homework to your house. Just like everyone else said, that's a responsibility as a parent. It also sucks that she won't be a little more helpful with the clothes seeing as how you have no extra money to go buy any right now, but if you really think about it.. If she is not required to provide the clothing, etc for you and your husband then she's not being unreasonable. You two knew they were going to come over eventually and you should have known that you will be required to provide the things that they need while they will be at your house.

Are you and your SO married or just engaged? Because really, if you're not married.. It's technically not your say at all anyway so it shouldn't matter.