re: Anyone know the law for new york state?

Quoting snglemama:" if he doesn't have the patience to do homework with kids... why did he fight for more time with them? ... [snip!] ... should have been prepared. this is tough on her too... her kids are leaving for the first time for an entire weekend. "

This!!! Seriously impatient to do homework!! OMG Welcome to parenthood! Deal With it ... And with Children u have to be prepared for everything. And i Agree the mother will be finding this hard as well to be away from her kids .... If its defo a regular thing she will lighten up in time but think ur hubby needs to pull his finger out and pay a intrest in his kids school work  

Quoting snglemama:" most of the time each parent is responsibleto povide for the kids while they are in their care. ... [snip!] ... without it done... or you can be the better people, act like parents... and jst help them do it while they are there "

 
i agree with all of this. your husband better get some patient for homework, he has his 3 kids, plus 2 with you.. it's gonna be years and years of helping with homework.

i also don't think you should let it be a free for all when they are with you either, (not saying that's what you would do) they should still have to pick up their room and after themselves (clearing/setting the dinner table, etc.) and if they have all their homework done then they can play. but homework needs to come first. if they don't do it at their moms, then they have to do it at your place.

Quoting snglemama:" if he doesn't have the patience to do homework with kids... why did he fight for more time with them? ... [snip!] ... should have been prepared. this is tough on her too... her kids are leaving for the first time for an entire weekend. "

Monday. Its not their first time leaving for the weekend. They used to spend the weekend with DH's mom as long as his mom didn't tell us they were here. She had no problem sending clothes then. They always spend nights at their grandparents house too. He hasn't done homework in about 6 years with them and they were in 1st grade and kindergarten. I do homework with Bailey when she gets it. So its a big change for us too. Like I said I don't mind doing it with them and I am sure as time goes on he will get more involved in it but they have four hours to do it before hand.

Quoting Sammi + Bailey *JAS08*:" Monday. Its not their first time leaving for the weekend. They used to spend the weekend with DH's mom ... [snip!] ... it with them and I am sure as time goes on he will get more involved in it but they have four hours to do it before hand. "

wait, isn't it christmas break, anyhow? who cares if their homework is done this weekend!?

Quoting JiLLiAN.:"   i agree with all of this. your husband better get some patient for homework, he has his 3 kids, ... [snip!] ... then they can play. but homework needs to come first. if they don't do it at their moms, then they have to do it at your place."

Its most definitely not going to be a free for all. I am about to have another baby and they are old enough to do chores. We already agreed to that. I just wish everything wasn't such a fight.

Basicially they are the grandparents it isnt there right to provide clothing, it is how ever you hubbys   Im with the 'Evil' Mother on this lol

Quoting Sammi + Bailey *JAS08*:" Its most definitely not going to be a free for all. I am about to have another baby and they are old enough to do chores. We already agreed to that. I just wish everything wasn't such a fight. "

yep but people are bitter. BD is the most conniving, manipulative person there is. he doesn't even give a smurf about LO, nor does he spend any time with him. he just likes to "win" in court  

Quoting Sammi + Bailey *JAS08*:" Monday. Its not their first time leaving for the weekend. They used to spend the weekend with DH's mom ... [snip!] ... it with them and I am sure as time goes on he will get more involved in it but they have four hours to do it before hand. "

I'm sorry, I still disagree. NO child likes doing homework friday afternoon. Does she work? kids get home, likely have chores, snacks, playtime... no need to do homework.

he needs to man up, (or father up?) ... be a parent and do homework with them. it's part of parenting.
she should feed them before 7.. but no obligation to do homework or send clothes. he wants parenting time... he needs to be a parent.

and... figure it out. After fighting for 5 years... do you guys want her showing up to court next time saying he refused to help them do homework, and didn;'t have ANYTHING there for them after fighting so hard?

Quoting JiLLiAN.:" yep but people are bitter. BD is the most conniving, manipulative person there is. he doesn't even give a smurf about LO, nor does he spend any time with him. he just likes to "win" in court  "

She is bitter, there is no need for it. She has thrown every obstacle in our way. Yes it is christmas break but they will probably be sent home with some sort of packet.

Quoting Sammi + Bailey *JAS08*:" She is bitter, there is no need for it. She has thrown every obstacle in our way. Yes it is christmas break but they will probably be sent home with some sort of packet. "

doubt it... AND... they likely don't go back to school until new years... so they won't have any homework due.

so.. even though I think he SHOULD man up and be willing to do homework (and other weekends will need to)... you likely have nothing to worry about this weekend

Quoting snglemama:" I'm sorry, I still disagree. NO child likes doing homework friday afternoon. Does she work? kids get ... [snip!] ... to court next time saying he refused to help them do homework, and didn;'t have ANYTHING there for them after fighting so hard?"

She gets home before they do. The kids get home and play video games every friday and then do their homework on sunday night. I personally have Bailey do her homework right after her snack. This is just the first visit, we will see how this goes.

Quoting Sammi + Bailey *JAS08*:" She gets home before they do. The kids get home and play video games every friday and then do their homework ... [snip!] ... night. I personally have Bailey do her homework right after her snack. This is just the first visit, we will see how this goes."

I'm really sorry you didn't get the support you wanted in this thread.

Quoting snglemama:" I'm really sorry you didn't get the support you wanted in this thread."

Its fine, i need to hear different opinions and maybe it will help change DH's opinion.I appreciate everyone's honesty. It just feels like she does everything out of spite.

Quoting Sammi + Bailey *JAS08*:" Its fine, i need to hear different opinions and maybe it will help change DH's opinion.I appreciate everyone's honesty. It just feels like she does everything out of spite."

yea, but it likely won't change and you guys need to deal with it. My ex is an smurf.. who does things out of spite. He is so against anything going backa nd forth.. he dropped my 2 year old at the time.. off at daycare without shoes because HE bought them nad they were new. wtf... she had to stay inside while everyone went outside to play because she dind't have shoes.

Quoting snglemama:" yea, but it likely won't change and you guys need to deal with it. My ex is an smurf.. who does things ... [snip!] ... them nad they were new. wtf... she had to stay inside while everyone went outside to play because she dind't have shoes. "

  thats sad. We would never do anything like that but she has definitely done everything in her power to make our lives hell. Now that everything is court ordered and she realizes she cant do anything, shes figuring out ways to make it worse. The only reason shes sending their homework here is because it will be less time to spend with us and doing what we want. She has a LONG list of requests that I think some are plain ridiculous.