Why won't it stop hurting?!

I thought I was ok this time, no big break down or complete cry-fest. This was my 3rd miscarriage, maybe I was just used to it by now, I don't know.

My friend just told me that she hadn't known she was pregnant, but she was and lost the baby at 17 weeks. I could not even IMAGINE losing a baby that far along. I hurt for her, and it also makes me hurt for myself. It doesn't hurt less now, none of them do. Time doesn't really do ANYTHING.

I want another baby, I really truly do. I just don't know if I can go through potentially having another miscarriage. I don't know if I could handle fostering and falling in love with a child and then they go back to their parents who don't deserve them. I'm not even sure if we could get approved to adopt, or could afford it and it's all just so sad and hurts so much.

I don't really know the point of this, but my husband's at work and I needed to vent.

I'm sorry you're having a rough time, lady.  

I'm so sorry.   I am not really a good person to talk to because I keep pushing my emotions and feelings aside. I have NOT dealt with it fully. Or maybe I have but I'm too numb to feel a lot. I dont know.

But I remember how bad I hurt with my first loss. Took me YEARS to get over. I think I have a good support system now though, unlike that time.

I'm always here if you need to vent or talk! (((hugs)))

Quoting Man. Bear. Pig.:" I'm so sorry.   I am not really a good person to talk to because I keep pushing my emotions and feelings ... [snip!] ... I think I have a good support system now though, unlike that time. I'm always here if you need to vent or talk! (((hugs)))"

thank you. I think it's the fact that I've had 3 in 6 years. It's hard to have the so close together I guess.

Quoting aneyeinthesun:" thank you. I think it's the fact that I've had 3 in 6 years. It's hard to have the so close together I guess."

Yeah, I can understand that.   Will they run tests now? I had a loss in 2003. So long ago I barely remember!

Quoting Man. Bear. Pig.:" Yeah, I can understand that.   Will they run tests now? I had a loss in 2003. So long ago I barely remember!"

No, she basically blamed it on my weight, suggested I contact the bariatric surgeons, and get on paraguard. It was an awful appointment.

Quoting aneyeinthesun:" No, she basically blamed it on my weight, suggested I contact the bariatric surgeons, and get on paraguard. It was an awful appointment."

Um.... what? Smurf that. Many bigger women have babies every day! That is ridiculous! Kind of like my first prenatal appt with Olivia. The doc did bloodwork, PELVIC, everything. Then said, oh you're high risk because you're too fat...... (I was about 205 lbs). Thanks for sticking your hand in my vagina first, smurf.

Quoting Man. Bear. Pig.:" Um.... what? Smurf that. Many bigger women have babies every day! That is ridiculous! Kind of like my ... [snip!] ... you're high risk because you're too fat...... (I was about 205 lbs). Thanks for sticking your hand in my vagina first, smurf."

Maybe I had super irregular periods, or no periods at all etc, I'd believe her. I've been pregnant at a lower weight, I've been pregnant at a higher and I know at least I have issues with my progesterone. To be taken seriously I'll have to lose at least 50lbs, but I'm sure I'll be told I'm too fat then.

Quoting aneyeinthesun:" Maybe I had super irregular periods, or no periods at all etc, I'd believe her. I've been pregnant at ... [snip!] ... with my progesterone. To be taken seriously I'll have to lose at least 50lbs, but I'm sure I'll be told I'm too fat then."

Overall you'll be healthier but that was still a smurffy thing to tell you.