Quoting M [+2) ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Man. Bear. Pig.:</b>" I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Bottom ... [snip!] ... if he really loved me, he wouldn't treat me this way. Which makes total sense to me, but I just can't get it through my head."
I've been there and it didn't work out...it ended with me getting a black eye and having head issues. I was with him for 5 years on and off. I met SO and I've been the happiest I've ever been. My problem was that I wanted him to be a better person than he was, yeah we had fun and good times but the way he treated me over weighed any good he did. I'm glad he hit me in front of everyone because it was a way out for me. In fact I'm pretty sure he's still stalking me, but I've moved on with someone that loves me just as much as I love him and he gave me my son. lol Anyways...my point is, back when I was in the relationship, I thought that I wanted him to be the one even though I was always miserable. When I met SO, I realized that there was not real love in that relationship, we brought out the worst in each other. I understand you have kids with 2 different guys and are scared that no one will accept your package and love you guys but that is NOT true, you WILL find someone (or they will find you) who will treat you and your family the way you deserve. You know you're not happy, this is not the life that you want to have for the rest of yourself but I just think you're waiting for something to happen that will FORCE you to end it for good. You have to come to terms with that on your own, no matter what anyone else says or does, you are the only one who can make you leave and be happy with your decision. You remind me of myself and I'm stubborn and usually have to learn the hard way for myself lol If you need to talk or anything feel free to PM me. I know it's tough but you'll be okay
Good luck mama!