re: Dictating how a surrogate lives

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mama Rice:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting pilot Jess:</b>" I think it's fair because if someone doesn't ... [snip!] ... bills into what they are being paid. :/ I tried to tell her that medical bills for YOUR baby should not be part of their pay."</blockquote>




She is considering their medical bills to be part of their compensation? That is ridiculous. They wouldn't even HAVE those expenses if they weren't carrying her child.

I understand the desire to have a child and te give it the best start you can in life. But I'd she can't physically carry a child then she NEEDS to make some concessions about what she expects from te person who agrees to do it for her. They will be her employee and some restrictions and expectations are reasonable. If she just told them to eat, drink, and take meds as they please I would think that was odd as well. But this person isn't her inferior, she can't expect do much from them.

Either pay more or change your expectations. Doesnt look like she can have it both ways.

Quoting Mama Rice:" A friend of mine is looking at a surrogate to have a baby for her (she cannot physically carry children, ... [snip!] ... fair to think you can dictate how someone else lives (including what they put in their body) because they are your surrogate?"

lol. her expectations are not in line with reality.
If someone agrees to that and can maintain it, whoopie! But, i question the mentality of a surrogate that accepts the challenge for so little money.

Honestly, the mom woman seeking the surrogate sounds like a nutjob and may not be good mommy-material. It's a sign!

It's not compulsory. She can ask them to so whatever she wants - and they can decline.

I'm going to be a surrogate and I'd be making waaaaay more that $3k off it, so I'd pretty easily be willing to change my lifestyle.

That's just ridiculous. I will be going surrogate for my best friend once he gets more settled and feels ready. You can't technically pay surrogates here but we've agreed on a sum of him 'gifting' me $10,000 and that he can place certain restrictions but ultimately its up to me. I had pre-E with my son and my mother had it with me, I also have a auto-immune disorder so if he even tried to tell me that I couldn't take meds I'd tell him to get stuffed.

Just because she has a lot of stipulations at the moment doesnt mean she could be bad mother material. We all want to give our bubs the best chance at the start of life. Expectations of healthy diet, and good exercise during pregnancy isnt something that is a completely foreign idea...until you actually experience it. A lot of us know what its like...she just needs to have a bit of a reality check that while it would be ideal for no meds, healthy food, good lifestyle, no pain meds during birth etc etc, you have to be the one carrying it to work out that it aint always going to go according to plan.
I guess she just wants to be involved and have a lot of control as to how she would have liked to carry if she could. Unfortunately, in order for her to get what she wants, she will have to relent in a lot of areas.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Sambo1988:</b>" Just because she has a lot of stipulations at the moment doesnt mean she could be bad mother material. ... [snip!] ... liked to carry if she could. Unfortunately, in order for her to get what she wants, she will have to relent in a lot of areas."</blockquote>




Demanding a vegan, organic diet sounds super-controlling as well as a lack of understanding of nutrition. If she wants to be a vegan, fine, but why insist on this diet, which may not be good for the surrogate and the fetus? Is she going to insist on that for the baby??? She sounds like a ninny.

Quoting TheNuge:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Sambo1988:</b>" Just because she has a lot of stipulations at ... [snip!] ... may not be good for the surrogate and the fetus? Is she going to insist on that for the baby??? She sounds like a ninny."

!

especially if say the surrogate has a nut allergy or a soy allergy and can't eat some of the vegan staples?

<blockquote><b>Quoting The (super kinky) Master:</b>" ! especially if say the surrogate has a nut allergy or a soy allergy and can't eat some of the vegan staples?"</blockquote>




Yes. It also shows lack of understanding of nutrition basics.

thats what i was saying...she wants an ideal light and fluffy world that media says x, y and z are good things. she just sounds ignorant or naive. but she will learn

I would agree to everything but I would ask for more money. My friend was a surrogate and was paid 27,000....but they went through an agency.

She needs to find a hippy.

I'm not a surrogate tho...just saying if I were

I think some of those are reasonable requests, but many of them are insane.
What if the surrogate has to go to the hospital and NEEDS meds?
And that's ridiculous to demand a vegan diet and not pay for it. Vegan diets are hella expensive if you wanna do it the right way.

And $3k-$5k is extremely low. That is 9-10 months of her life. The average surrogate starts out around $10k I believe. I don't think she has room to be so picky when she is paying so low.