re: I'm in an abusive situation, and we're STUCK. Vent~

Quoting →Ebahϖ:" thats wrong. they wont take her just because you dont have a job. they do everything they can to keep ... [snip!] ... that far! get out! you dont deserve to be abused and your daughter doesnt deserve to have to live in an environment like this."

Thanks, thats what I told her too. That she was absolutely wrong. But she gave me some specific story about a girl she knew that got her child taken from her because she didn't have a job.
Basically she just said I need to stay here to gather evidence, and call the cops on him and get a police report so I can prove his abuse if and when he does something crazy again.

Quoting Ҿcɧơ:" Thanks, thats what I told her too. That she was absolutely wrong. But she gave me some specific story ... [snip!] ... evidence, and call the cops on him and get a police report so I can prove his abuse if and when he does something crazy again. "

there was alot more to the story that she didnt have then. thats not right at all. there is ZERO reason to ever stay in abusive house hold. he has already shown he can hurt you. you dont need to wait around to get evidence that hes abusive. the next time he does something crazy you might not be able to call the cops.

Quoting →Ebahϖ:" there was alot more to the story that she didnt have then. thats not right at all. there is ZERO reason ... [snip!] ... to wait around to get evidence that hes abusive. the next time he does something crazy you might not be able to call the cops."

People are all telling me so many different things...I don't know who to listen to. I need a lawyer. But I has no moneys.

Quoting Ҿcɧơ:" People are all telling me so many different things...I don't know who to listen to. I need a lawyer. But I has no moneys. "

its a hard situation. iv been in a mentally and emotionally abusive relationship that turned violent so fast it would make your head spin. its hard to get up and leave when you know its uncertain whats going to happen. it took him raping me and him putting his hands around my neck in front of my child before i knew enough was enough. even then i couldnt do it alone. i am so greatful for the people in my life that got me out of there before it was too late. i didnt deserve the things he did or said to me and neither do you.

you dont listen to anyone but your self. read your post over like it wasnt you. what would you say to someone going threw this? id get in contact with a womens shelter. they will help you. they have lawyers and people there that deal with this stuff for a living and it wont cost you anything . you dont have to live like this.

Quoting Ҿcɧơ:" Thanks, thats what I told her too. That she was absolutely wrong. But she gave me some specific story ... [snip!] ... evidence, and call the cops on him and get a police report so I can prove his abuse if and when he does something crazy again. "

The other poster is right. That information is terribly incorrect. I had to go to a homeless shelter with my two girls and DCF never once stepped in or threatened to. Going to a DV shelter would actually have a positive impact on the way any protective service agency would look at you.

I strongly advise filing a criminal complaint against this guy, getting in contact with a domestic violence advocate and getting yourself and your child into a mire protected situation. The first step is always the hardest, but it's the one step that will bring you out of this hellhole. There are so many options available to you once you do those three things and a multitude of programs to help.

I'm not sure if anyone had told you this yet. But in the state of Arkansas, and this is my lawyer's exact words, the only way he can take custody is if you are doing a line of coke daily or standing on the corner selling yourself. If he is abusing you and you have proof, you can get sole custody. I agree with everyone that you need to go to a commune or a shelter. If you need anything at all, even a place to go to get away for a couple hours, PM me. I will help in whatever way I can (:

And like someone else said. The information she gave you is COMPLETELY incorrect. If it was true, my BD would have immediately taken DS away as soon as I lost my job. But no they can't take her as long as you are providing a place for her to sleep and food to eat and doing your best to keep her safe. They would take her if there where signs of abuse from you.