re: Out of control four year old...

First of all, ease up on the "punishment" You're going to make him angry and resentful. No wonder he can't calm down if the adults in his life can't even do it.

It's the age. I swear that three and four are just terrible. Especially when mom's pregnant. By five it's better, but only if you're consistent and reasonable with your expectations, and for the love of god, be patient! He's four.

wtf does putting him in time out until he's on his knees even mean!? Like you make him stand until he can't anymore? For God sakes take him for a walk or on a play date or play with him and wear him out.

Quoting i made a vagina.:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Angeleyes1372:</b>" I don't mean it the way it sounds. I am ... [snip!] ... I have to stop, which is before I do any harm. "</blockquote> ..so you spank repeatedly for the same punishment?!  "

It's hard to explain. I spank him once, and if he keeps acting up, spank him again. That's how I was brought up. If you need it, you get your butt whipped. My father was abusive, I am not. I have never ONCE left a bruise on my child, and I don't like spanking him. I'm just asking for advice, not ridicule for disciplining my child in the way I was raised up and not to be called abusive because trust me I am not.

Quoting Angeleyes1372:" I don't mean it the way it sounds. I am NOT abusive, do not EVER accuse me of abuse!!! I'm not having ... [snip!] ... just wanting him to mind. I know when to stop. I spank him until I know I have to stop, which is before I do any harm. "

This is not reassuring.

Quoting Angeleyes1372:" It's hard to explain. I spank him once, and if he keeps acting up, spank him again. That's how I was ... [snip!] ... not ridicule for disciplining my child in the way I was raised up and not to be called abusive because trust me I am not."

But don't you realize that spanking him over and over for the same thing isn't working?! Try some redirection!

Quoting Angeleyes1372:" It's hard to explain. I spank him once, and if he keeps acting up, spank him again. That's how I was ... [snip!] ... not ridicule for disciplining my child in the way I was raised up and not to be called abusive because trust me I am not."

so you are disciplining the way you were raised and your dad was abusive, yet even though you are disciplining the same way your not?

Quoting FeliciaAnn:" wtf does putting him in time out until he's on his knees even mean!? Like you make him stand until he ... [snip!] ... make him stand until he can't anymore? For God sakes take him for a walk or on a play date or play with him and wear him out."

where I'm living, I don't trust people enough to go walking. and I let him play and wear himself out anytime he wants to. and by time ou til he's on his knees, til he can't stand. (that's really my husband doing that, I spank and put in time out for a while then let him out) gah everything just came out wrong...

Quoting Angeleyes1372:" It's hard to explain. I spank him once, and if he keeps acting up, spank him again. That's how I was ... [snip!] ... not ridicule for disciplining my child in the way I was raised up and not to be called abusive because trust me I am not."

But....your discipline isn't working. And while I don't think spanking is abusive in itself, it can be if you....well, abuse it.

Quoting |♥| Jayme |♥|:" so you are disciplining the way you were raised and your dad was abusive, yet even though you are disciplining the same way your not? "

the way my mom did, not my dad. I'm sorry, everything just came out all wrong. I know I sound like a crazed maniac saying all this, I assure you I'm not... I'm just at my wits end with the attitude. Part of it is because he's back and forth between me and grandparents... and my father has been in the hospital the last few weeks and finally came home, so he's missing him.

Quoting Angeleyes1372:" where I'm living, I don't trust people enough to go walking. and I let him play and wear himself out ... [snip!] ... really my husband doing that, I spank and put in time out for a while then let him out) gah everything just came out wrong..."

Listen at his age he should only be in time for 4 minutes. He's 4 he gets a 4 minute time out. The rest of the time is useless and he's going to forget why he's there. Have you tried reasonable communication? If you don't like your neighborhood MOVE. Or get in the car and go to a park you enjoy. He needs to get out and get some fresh air. Kids are crazy, 4 year olds need a ton of mental and physical stimulation. You should really do some peaceful parenting research.

OP, you keep responding to the negative comments instead of my questions......

Quoting Angeleyes1372:" the way my mom did, not my dad. I'm sorry, everything just came out all wrong. I know I sound like a ... [snip!] ... me and grandparents... and my father has been in the hospital the last few weeks and finally came home, so he's missing him. "

You need help thats what you need because there is a fine line between discipline and abuse and i think you have passed it along time ago

Quoting FeliciaAnn:" Listen at his age he should only be in time for 4 minutes. He's 4 he gets a 4 minute time out. The ... [snip!] ... are crazy, 4 year olds need a ton of mental and physical stimulation. You should really do some peaceful parenting research. "

four minute time out is what i do, if he tries to come out before his four minutes is up, a minute is added on. Everyone, I'm sorry if I sounded like a total asshat earlier. -_- I was so not trying to. I'm just wanting to know what some of you do to get your kids to behave?

Quoting Jas ♥:" OP, you keep responding to the negative comments instead of my questions......"

I didn't see your questions??

Quoting Angeleyes1372:" four minute time out is what i do, if he tries to come out before his four minutes is up, a minute is ... [snip!] ... a total asshat earlier. -_- I was so not trying to. I'm just wanting to know what some of you do to get your kids to behave?"

I redirect, and I take away privileges. When my girls are hurting each other they both go to time out. When I let them out they have to sit and talk to me about WHY they are in time out, why mommy was upset, and why THEY were upset. My oldest is 5 and autistic, and her sister is 3. This works very well for them both. If they have a lot of excess steam we go for a walk or play in our yard. For my 5yo I give her a piece of paper and ask me to draw a picture of her feelings. This works really well. Consistency is absolutely key. You have to continue to parent this way even when it's so annoying you feel as if you can't go on. Then one day it all just seems so simple, and behaviors are changing. I don't spank. I used to, and then I realized my child is acting out for a REASON and it was my responsibility to discover what that reason was.