Quoting The (super kinky) Master:" This is where I'm confused ... are we talking legality here or ceremonial? SO and I have had a ceremony ... [snip!] ... is my religions version of a Christian wedding. - - - would these things give me the right to call him my husband or not?"

You always have the right to call him whatever you please...my only issue is that it annoys me when it misrepresents the situation & isn't accurate. It sounds to me like your legal rights vary greatly from ours & that there is a different connotation to living together there than there is here, etc.

Quoting justanothamotha:" People just like to say "it's just a piece of paper" but I bet for most that if you called their wedding ring "just a ring" they'd see that as different.  "

I wouldn't. Because it IS just a ring. Marriage at it's roots had little to do with legality and more to do with a man securing the paternity of his children and basically owning his wife or wives. It wasn't until much later that marriage and weddings were romanticized as some grand gesture of love. Now, if you want to talk about the ring specifically, at it's roots it was a gift given to ONLY the bride during the betrothal, not the wedding. And not by her husband either I might add, the husband didn't even wear a ring. That practice didn't really gain popularity until the 1920s. And only gained popularity because of a successful marketing campaign. But if you want to talk about today's standards, the ring is a symbol. Nothing more. Your marriage, love, and your commitment to your spouse is not dependent on the ring, nor is it suddenly gone should you take off the ring, you're not unmarried every time you take it off before a shower. So yeah, it is "just a ring."

Quoting justanothamotha:" I just don't know that THIS particular one is a good topic for international discussion because I am ... [snip!] ... where visitors are restricted to immediate family. http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/marriage-rights-benefits-30190.html"

So I shouldn't have answered this thread because I'm not American?

Quoting The (super kinky) Master:" So I shouldn't have answered this thread because I'm not American?"

Huh?  

I hope you are trying to be funny.

I said I am not sure it's a good topic for international discussion....since there is a great difference between how things are viewed legally from one country to the next so what *I* say as an American may not be what *I* would say if I lived elsewhere where living together has different legal ramifications. I am answering based on what it is like where *I* live - that doesn't apply universally to all people everywhere.

You are asking stuff like this:
"This is where I'm confused ... are we talking legality here or ceremonial?

SO and I have had a ceremony that for us is the same as a marriage ceremony, we had a commitment ceremony followed by one that is important to our lifestyle.

Nest year I'm planning a Norse hand tying ceremony, which is my religions version of a Christian wedding.

- - - would these things give me the right to call him my husband or not?"

And my point of it not making a good international topic is that I have no idea what it means as it seems like things are clearly different in Au than here when it comes to what that means legally for you. Where I am from, if you haven't had a legally officiated wedding, you're not entitled to ANY of the privileges of marriage - as I already outlined them - so no inheritance rights, no ability to make medical decisions, not even the "right" to visit him in intensive care if he is unconscious & under orders to only see "next of kin".

It does not bother me, I sometimes have called my SO my Husband, and he has called me his wife, although we dont always call each other that,. I love him like I would a Husband. We did not call each other Husband or Wife until we were ate the point of raising children together and sharing a life and home, not when we were dating,.

What I would find insulting, would be anyone who tried to tell me I dont know what a real marriage is,. Prior to my SO I was married legally married, I had the romantic proposal, the big wedding, the white dress, the rings, the vows, the paperwork, the starting of a family and life together with a loved one, and I made medical decisions for my spouse, and had all the legal rights to the marriage. I think I might have a small clue what a marriage is.

I care for my SO on the same level I cared for my "Real" Husband.
So if I call him Husband once in awhile and it offends anyone tough on them.

I only find it annoying when 13 year old couple be like wifey, hubby. The way I see it, if you're living together with kids living a married life you have every right to do so.

Quoting Jude the Super Kinkster:" Poll: Does it bother when couples who are not legally married call each other "husband" or "wife"? If so, why? Do you feel like it's an insult to "real" married couples? D&D"

My mother and I were talking about this the other day. My cousin has been with a guy for two years, yet has been calling him "husband" for almost half of the relationship. They are not legally tied, but they had a "Jack and Jill party." I remember asking this Thanksgiving if they were married to our aunt, and she said she wasn't. It just caused unnecessary confusion.

At any rate, I find it odd and a little insulting. If you aren't willing to take that "extra" step, then don't call yourselves husband and wife. Simple as that.

Quoting Heeeeeey, Sexy lady. ;):" I only find it annoying when 13 year old couple be like wifey, hubby. The way I see it, if you're living together with kids living a married life you have every right to do so."

THAT is annoying as smurf.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Back to Noob Status:</b>" My mother and I were talking about this the other day. My cousin has been with a guy for two years, ... [snip!] ... insulting. If you aren't willing to take that "extra" step, then don't call yourselves husband and wife. Simple as that. "</blockquote>




How is it insulting?

Quoting Ryloonjimama:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Back to Noob Status:</b>" My mother and I were talking about ... [snip!] ... that "extra" step, then don't call yourselves husband and wife. Simple as that. "</blockquote> How is it insulting?"

People like to say that marriage isn't being taken seriously, and I think that it is part of the problem. People like my cousin who get "engaged" and call their boyfriends of a few months "husband" really just treat marriage/engagements as if it they are jokes and not lifelong commitments.

I find it equally insulting that heterosexual couples can have multiple divorces, but my aunt and her girlfriend of many years can't make themselves wives b/c it "ruins the sanctity of marriage."  

<blockquote><b>Quoting Back to Noob Status:</b>" People like to say that marriage isn't being taken seriously, and I think that it is part of the problem. ... [snip!] ... but my aunt and her girlfriend of many years can't make themselves wives b/c it "ruins the sanctity of marriage."  "</blockquote>




I can assure you I take marriage very VERY seriously ... Don't generalize.

Quoting Back to Noob Status:" People like to say that marriage isn't being taken seriously, and I think that it is part of the problem. ... [snip!] ... but my aunt and her girlfriend of many years can't make themselves wives b/c it "ruins the sanctity of marriage."  "

I can see where your coming from here.

<blockquote><b>Quoting MILF !!:</b>" I do get offended because so many people don't take marriage for the serious commitment it really is. ... [snip!] ... SIL, MIL, etc. I find it very annoying since I'm actually married into that family. Selfish? Maybe, but I feel I've earned it. "</blockquote>




I sooo agree!! ;)

I would find it humorous to think that someone who has been married for only a few years,. or married some dude she has known for a few months, thinks they are an expert on what everyone else should be doing.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Back to Noob Status:</b>" People like to say that marriage isn't being taken seriously, and I think that it is part of the problem. ... [snip!] ... but my aunt and her girlfriend of many years can't make themselves wives b/c it "ruins the sanctity of marriage."  "</blockquote>




What about people who can't be legally married? A gay couple or someone who is in a polygamist or polyamorous relationship?