Quoting The (super kinky) Master:" IKR? He's my next of kin for medical reasons. We file our taxes together, have joint bank accounts, ... [snip!] ... a million other things. My legal rights with SO is no different than what my parents have and they've been married 32 years."

I don't know what IKR means...but here, you have none of that....so I can't see it as similar.

Quoting justanothamotha:" I don't know what IKR means...but here, you have none of that....so I can't see it as similar."

It means "I know, right?"...lol

But I agree. We don't have any of that here, so it's different.

Quoting ~Ice Princess~:" It means "I know, right?"...lol But I agree. We don't have any of that here, so it's different."

Well the fact that being not married & being married give you such different legal standing is WHY I am so supportive of gay marriage. It is a huge difference legally & thereofre not allowing gay marriage is denying gay couples a TON of legal protections they are entitled to have.

<blockquote><b>Quoting justanothamotha:</b>" Well the fact that being not married & being married give you such different legal standing is WHY ... [snip!] ... legally & thereofre not allowing gay marriage is denying gay couples a TON of legal protections they are entitled to have."</blockquote>

!!!!!!!
There's no reason gay couples shouldn't get the same rights. Also, I agree that since we don't have any rights not being married so being married is more than just a piece of paper (that cost me more than $5 by the way lol)

Quoting Madi's*Mama:" <blockquote><b>Quoting justanothamotha:</b>" Well the fact that being not married & ... [snip!] ... any rights not being married so being married is more than just a piece of paper (that cost me more than $5 by the way lol)"

People just like to say "it's just a piece of paper" but I bet for most that if you called their wedding ring "just a ring" they'd see that as different.  

<blockquote><b>Quoting justanothamotha:</b>" People just like to say "it's just a piece of paper" but I bet for most that if you called their wedding ring "just a ring" they'd see that as different.  "</blockquote>

Yeah I know what you mean, but my ring I'm borrowing from my mom so it is just a ring to me but my promise ring that I got when we first started dating means the world to me and can not be replaced. When my fingers swelled during my pregnancy and I couldn't wear it I go so depressed and felt so naked without it on lol

Quoting Madi's*Mama:" <blockquote><b>Quoting justanothamotha:</b>" People just like to say "it's just a piece ... [snip!] ... When my fingers swelled during my pregnancy and I couldn't wear it I go so depressed and felt so naked without it on lol"

See - to me my ring IS "just a ring"....seriously. It means NOTHING legally - it's a cultural thing & not every culture even uses a ring & it isn't always on the left hand either....so I am just as married with & without a ring. That is not true without that "piece of paper". I like my ring & I appreciate it as a gift from Dh, but at the end of the day it is only a ring.

<blockquote><b>Quoting justanothamotha:</b>" See - to me my ring IS "just a ring"....seriously. It means NOTHING legally - it's a cultural thing & ... [snip!] ... that "piece of paper". I like my ring & I appreciate it as a gift from Dh, but at the end of the day it is only a ring."</blockquote>

Oh not to me but its a religious aspect to me. DH and I have talked greatly about if we want to keep the rings are parents let us borrow or get our own since these were the rings blessed. We plan on renewing our vows in a few years since our first wedding was thrown together short notice so we will probably get new rings around then so that the new rings will be blessed as well.

I think it's fine. I refer to mine as my husband and we are not married legally. By his culture they see me as his wife though---there is no term girlfriend or something like that. If we live together and under one roof, we are considered married.

Quoting Madi's*Mama:" <blockquote><b>Quoting justanothamotha:</b>" See - to me my ring IS "just a ring"....seriously. ... [snip!] ... was thrown together short notice so we will probably get new rings around then so that the new rings will be blessed as well."

Even so - if you got mugged & both rings were stolen, you are still just as married & just as committed & I doubt you would think your marriage is less blessed because someone took your rings.

<blockquote><b>Quoting justanothamotha:</b>" Even so - if you got mugged & both rings were stolen, you are still just as married & just as ... [snip!] ... as married & just as committed & I doubt you would think your marriage is less blessed because someone took your rings."</blockquote>


That's true lol

This is where I'm confused ... are we talking legality here or ceremonial?

SO and I have had a ceremony that for us is the same as a marriage ceremony, we had a commitment ceremony followed by one that is important to our lifestyle.

Nest year I'm planning a Norse hand tying ceremony, which is my religions version of a Christian wedding.

- - - would these things give me the right to call him my husband or not?

Quoting The (super kinky) Master:" This is where I'm confused ... are we talking legality here or ceremonial? SO and I have had a ceremony ... [snip!] ... is my religions version of a Christian wedding. - - - would these things give me the right to call him my husband or not?"

I just don't know that THIS particular one is a good topic for international discussion because I am COMPLETELY confused as to what rights you get in AU being married versus not....

Where I am from if you are not married - you cannot have these benefits:

Whether or not you favor marriage as a social institution, there's no denying that it confers many rights, protections, and benefits -- both legal and practical. Some of these vary from state to state, but the list typically includes:

Whether or not you favor marriage as a social institution, there's no denying that it confers many rights, protections, and benefits -- both legal and practical. Some of these vary from state to state, but the list typically includes:
Tax Benefits

• Filing joint income tax returns with the IRS and state taxing authorities.
• Creating a "family partnership" under federal tax laws, which allows you to divide business income among family members.

Estate Planning Benefits

• Inheriting a share of your spouse's estate.
• Receiving an exemption from both estate taxes and gift taxes for all property you give or leave to your spouse.
• Creating life estate trusts that are restricted to married couples, including QTIP trusts, QDOT trusts, and marital deduction trusts.
• Obtaining priority if a conservator needs to be appointed for your spouse -- that is, someone to make financial and/or medical decisions on your spouse's behalf.

Government Benefits

• Receiving Social Security, Medicare, and disability benefits for spouses.
• Receiving veterans' and military benefits for spouses, such as those for education, medical care, or special loans.
• Receiving public assistance benefits.

Employment Benefits

• Obtaining insurance benefits through a spouse's employer.
• Taking family leave to care for your spouse during an illness.
• Receiving wages, workers' compensation, and retirement plan benefits for a deceased spouse.
• Taking bereavement leave if your spouse or one of your spouse's close relatives dies.

Medical Benefits

• Visiting your spouse in a hospital intensive care unit or during restricted visiting hours in other parts of a medical facility.
• Making medical decisions for your spouse if he or she becomes incapacitated and unable to express wishes for treatment.

Death Benefits

• Consenting to after-death examinations and procedures.
• Making burial or other final arrangements.

Family Benefits

• Filing for stepparent or joint adoption.
• Applying for joint foster care rights.
• Receiving equitable division of property if you divorce.
• Receiving spousal or child support, child custody, and visitation if you divorce.

Housing Benefits

• Living in neighborhoods zoned for "families only."
• Automatically renewing leases signed by your spouse.

Consumer Benefits

• Receiving family rates for health, homeowners', auto, and other types of insurance.
• Receiving tuition discounts and permission to use school facilities.
• Other consumer discounts and incentives offered only to married couples or families.

Other Legal Benefits and Protections

• Suing a third person for wrongful death of your spouse and loss of consortium (loss of intimacy).
• Suing a third person for offenses that interfere with the success of your marriage, such as alienation of affection and criminal conversation (these laws are available in only a few states).
• Claiming the marital communications privilege, which means a court can't force you to disclose the contents of confidential communications between you and your spouse during your marriage.
• Receiving crime victims' recovery benefits if your spouse is the victim of a crime.
• Obtaining immigration and residency benefits for noncitizen spouse.
• Visiting rights in jails and other places where visitors are restricted to immediate family.

http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/marriage-rights-benefits-30190.html

So let's say here - when Dh & I lived together - even after 9 yrs (which is how long we lived together) - if he were to end up in intensive care & his family didn't like me, they could bar me from visiting him there, they would make all medical decisions & they would have all rights to his body if he died. If he named me as his beneficiary in his will they could take me to court as "next of kin" and they may or may not win, particularly if they incurred bills related to his burial, etc. If he had a child from a previous relationship, that child (mother most likely) could sue for his estate as well - even IF I lived in the house the past 9 yrs & any of his possessions, etc, etc. The only way to get around this stuff is go to a lawyer & specifically draw up a living will advanced directive.

<blockquote><b>Quoting The (super kinky) Master:</b>" This is where I'm confused ... are we talking legality here or ceremonial? SO and I have had a ceremony ... [snip!] ... is my religions version of a Christian wedding. - - - would these things give me the right to call him my husband or not?"</blockquote>

This is why if you are together a long time it doesn't bother me but if you've only been together for like a year it would bother me.