Aija is here.

Well I guess it's not much of a story...
My water broke May 24th around 1 in the morning, went to the labor and delivery 15 minutes after, by then my amniotic fluid was gushing out, and it was probably one of the most uncomfortable parts of my labor. I got hooked up to all of the monitors, my contractions were about 3 minutes apart, but I couldn't feel them, and I was about 2 cm dialated and 100% effaced. I got no sleep, my contractions were irregular, my doctor finally suggested pitocin to regulate my contractions, and so they started that right away. I was doing pretty good with them at that point, no doubt they hurt, but counting until each contraction was over really helped. Anyway they decided to do a u/a because my doctor was pretty sure that she could feel a butt in my cervix. Anyway turns out babe had rolled at the last minute and got herself in an awkward position, head was in my ribcage, butt was coming out my cervix, and because of the way she was positioned she would have suffocated if they waited any longer, so she was considered an emergency breech. Had to get a c-section, I was bawling because I didn't want one, I was terribly scared. Soafter 14 hours of labor, a c-section, and an hour in ICU, I finally got to see my baby girl,we named her Aija Olivija-Sophija Zelenko. I spent a week in the hospital, the pain has been hell, and I'm now just starting to feel better. I've got bad PPD, I'm having trouble bonding with her, but taking my time, I know it will happen soon. Can't breastfeed because my nipples arent erect enough, and she wont latch on correctly because she has a tiny little mouth. So I'm formula feeding her and pumping what I can before my milk dries up. BTW, she did receive all of my colostrum  I still feel worthless about it though.
It's been difficult, but I'm getting through it day by day, no one said mother hood was going to be easy, and it's not, but i love her. First month is always the hardest right?

What a rotten experience! Don't feel bad about feeing bad about it... it sucks. Sound slike your coming long though and yeah the first few weeks are the roughest   You'll get through it before you know it. Keep the pumping up, if you can kep going you may be able to keep your milk up and keep trying at b/f . Better later then not at all.
good luck. hang in there.. kiss her lots  

Congratulations! Have you tried nursing her with a nipple shield??

Congrats on the baby girl!!

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. Just wondering have you tried a nipple shield while breastfeeding? They helped me out a lot!!

good luck hun. i'm sorry about the ppd. i hope your hormones even out and ou can bond with that bundle of joy   definitly try the nipple shield like suggested before   good luck!

Congrats on the angel....it will get easier!

Quoting Rotten Rachel:“ Well I guess it's not much of a story... My water broke May 24th around 1 in the morning, went to the ... [snip!] ... by day, no one said mother hood was going to be easy, and it's not, but i love her. First month is always the hardest right?”

I know exactly how you feel about the breastfeeding thing. I wanted to breastfeed this baby so bad because it didn't work out breastfeeding my other two sons. I worked and worked but he just wouldn't lach on because my nipples are inverted and they don't come out enough for him to lach on. I kept trying but he lost a full pound and they said I needed to supplement to get his weight up. We even tried using this thing where they ran a little tube from a bottle down to my nipple so that he would be gettting formula but it would still be from breastfeeding. He still wouldn't lach on so I finally gave him a bottle and pumped. I cried histerically for one whole day because I felt like such a failure. I cried to the point that the next day my eyes were so swollen I couldn't even open them. So my mom went to babysrus and bought me a nipple shield. He lached right on and has been nursing great since then. I am still having to use the shield but hopefully when he gets just a little bigger he can latch on without it but it worked so good so maybe give that a try. I know it is really hard but try not to get to down about it because if you are stressed about it so will the baby. Good luck and if you want someone to talk with if you are having a bad day or anything just let me know.

Congrats on your baby!

I know how you feel about the nursing issues. I have to supplement also because my milk supply is so pathetic he can only get a few ounces out of me a day. I felt like a failure about it for a while but I'm starting to come to terms with it and don't feel so guilty. On the upside, it's nice not being the sole entity responsible for feedings since we can give him a bottle as well.

By the way, any pictures??

PICS!!! Also try a nipple shield! I had a similar problem and it made it possible for my son to latch on easily. I almost felt like giving up because I couldn't get my son to breastfeed but I suggest trying everything you can before you give up. I gave my son my pumped milk until I got the hang of breastfeeding. As long as you keep pumping on a regular basis your milk won't dry up.

Congrats on the new baby !!
I'm excited for you..Don't let the little things get you down too much, you have a healthy baby, and you are ok...but, if you ever want to talk or vent just drop me a PM...I hope that it gets easier for you!!
btw...pics as soon as you get a chance ..I bet that she is adorable!!

Yes I tried 24/7 with and without the sheild in the hospital, she just wont latch. I feel okay about supplementing now, and my doctor suggested I give up on the pumping and breastfeeding because of my PPD being so bad, but I'm still going to give her what I can for now, until its gone. They have me on zoloft now for the PPD. I will have pictures posted soon, I've just been so busy and tired, still learning, you know. Things are slowly getting better SLOWLYYY. It's very hard still, today we experienced the very first unexplainable 2 hour fussy period, and shes still not quite calmed down. It's been stressful.

Quoting Rotten Rachel:“ Yes I tried 24/7 with and without the sheild in the hospital, she just wont latch. I feel okay about ... [snip!] ... we experienced the very first unexplainable 2 hour fussy period, and shes still not quite calmed down. It's been stressful.”

Aww that sucks. I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. I had depression before pregnancy and have been on Prozac all the way through and I still have trouble some days. I had a couple night where he would wake up and just cry and cry for no apparent reason and I really brokedown. I had to call my mom at 3am and just cry on the phone to her.

Quoting Rotten Rachel:“ Yes I tried 24/7 with and without the sheild in the hospital, she just wont latch. I feel okay about ... [snip!] ... we experienced the very first unexplainable 2 hour fussy period, and shes still not quite calmed down. It's been stressful.”

I had to give up on breastfeeding too. I wasn't making enough milk and she couldn't latch either. I felt like a failure but then again I had to do what was best for her and she lost so much weight I knew we couldn't continue trying. I hope things look up for you and you are doing a great job Momma, just caring enough and trying hard is a sure sign of that. You can always PM me if you wanna talk. I remember you were due the same day as me, I went overdue though, so our babies are practically going through all the same milestones at the same time.