PPD- posting again, need it read by someone...

I've recently come to realize that I have some PPD, and just need to get it out. I have no one that I can talk to here without them worrying about me too much & SO doesn't listen well enough to let me get it out without getting mad...

I am 5 weeks PP and it seems like every little thing makes me absolutely LIVID. My DH usually gets home from work about 2 hrs ago(its 7:30 here, so 5:30 ish) well he knows, if hes going to be late, I would appreciate a phone call. Here it is 7:30, no word from him, so I texted the carpool driver(it's just the 2 of them and DH doesn't have a cell) to see what was going on, like 1.5 hrs ago, no response. So i just texted his wife & found out they're broke down at Fred Meyer's and I'm PISSED that he couldnt call me... And my poor girls, DD2 will wake up from a nap & start cryin cause she's hungry, which will in turn make DD1(18 months) start crying, and i get so mad. I would never hurt them, but I just want them to leave me alone sometimes!!! DD1 is trying to put on her pj's as I type this and is getting frustrated about not being able to do it herself, and fussing and theres a teeny tiny part of me that wants to just rip the pjs away and throw them in the fking trash just to get her to stop. The smallest things make me cry. SO works from about 8:30 till about 5:30 and when he gets home, all he wants to do is sit on his ass and watch TV and smoke weed. It feels like I'm raising these girls by myself. I'll be in the process of BF'ing DD2 and DD1 will decide she's going to get into something she know's better, and I'll holler at her, and then I'll holler at her again if she's still fkin around and I'll have to do it about 5 or 6 times before I either interrupt the feeding or have to get his fkn attention to get him to make her stop. He just called me to say he'll be home asap, which means he's leaving freddy's and has to stop at the weed guys house, which means he wont be home for another hour at least. That means I have to deal with both the girls while I make dinner, and do the dishes, and switch the laundry. I love being a SAHM, but I just need a break!! Im sorry if i'm rambling or don't make sense, I just need to get all this out. DD1 is always all over me, im sitting on the couch trying to type this up, to finally be able to talk about it, and shes climbing on me, climbing on her sister, trying to give us kisses(which I usually love) but now I just want to push her onto the other side of the couch. I feel bad even telling you guys about this cause I know I'm not supposed to feel like this, and everythings supposed to be all peachy and I'm supposed to love my girls kisses. I've tried to get SO to let me have DD1 spend the night at grandmas(she's VERY willing to have her) and he just refuses, like he's afraid my mother is going to let her get hurt. But then when I ask him to help by giving her a bath or something stupid, he bitches about having to help. I just needed to get this out, and hear from you guys about how i'll get over this PPD and everything will be peachy and whatnot...

The main reasons I've come to think I have PPD is I cant make myself get up and do hardly any housework and it's starting to pile up(another reason I feel like im raising them myself, he wont do anything) and I'm having to force myself to eat...

Honestly it doesn't sound like PPD to me.
It sounds like your SO doesn't have his priorities straight.
And you are overwhelmed, do you have any family that could help any with your DD's?

Quoting Ole' No Name:" Honestly it doesn't sound like PPD to me. It sounds like your SO doesn't have his priorities straight. And you are overwhelmed, do you have any family that could help any with your DD's?"

 
I started typing practically the same thing then I read yours lol

you can talk to your dr and they can give you something for it.. and it wouldnt hurt if maybe the grandma could keep an eye on both klids for a few hours for you..

I feel so bad about asking my mom to watch the girls cause she already watches my 2 nephews(4 and 1) 6 days a week, from like 8am to like 8pm, and hardly has anytime for herself. and about taking something for it, I used to have depression issues, stopped taking my anti-depressants when I got married and started TTC, and was doing sooo well. So, even thinking about taking anything makes me feel bad because I've regressed apparently...

Quoting CrAsH1988:" I feel so bad about asking my mom to watch the girls cause she already watches my 2 nephews(4 and 1) ... [snip!] ... TTC, and was doing sooo well. So, even thinking about taking anything makes me feel bad because I've regressed apparently..."

There's nothing wrong with asking for help. Depression isn't something to take lightly.