What to do about crazy tantrums?

My daughter is 4 (5 at the end of March) and MOST of the time is a great, well-mannered girl.. but if you catch her on a bad day she throws the most horrible tantrums.

Today she wanted me to read her books, so I read her two Dr. Seuss books and by that time my (almost 4 month old) was done with it, so I told her we could read more later. She complained she wanted to read more and it went on from there.. screaming, stomping, crying etc..

So I warned her.. I said if you don't stop, we wont be able to read books later and you'll have to have a time-out... let's go find something else to do. She continued, which resulted in a time out for 4 mins and her screaming for the entire thing.. After the time out I asked her to stop, to listen to me and she refused and began kicking at me.. so she got a spank on the bum, which I hate resorting to.. it's only maybe the 5th one of her life..

What can I do in these situations?

My kids' aren't allowed out of timeout until the tantrum is over. If sh was still screaming and going on I wouldn't have tried to talk to her yet. I would have waited until the initial 4 minutes were up and then said "tantrums are NOT acceptible and you will sit here until you're finished". Then she would sit until I had heard her calm down and only then would I go talk to her. I would not use spanked, but I don't agree with spanking in general. Timeout works if you are consistent with it. The time out cant be over if she's still exhibiting the behavior that got her there. My kids understand that. Tantrums are few and far between for us.

Quoting MommaSav2:" My kids' aren't allowed out of timeout until the tantrum is over. If sh was still screaming and going ... [snip!] ... if she's still exhibiting the behavior that got her there. My kids understand that. Tantrums are few and far between for us."

Thank you I'll try that. I never go over the minute pre year of age rule.. mostly because usually the baby is sleeping and I'd like to calm her down so she doesnt wake her up

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jadiebug & GeorgiaPeach:</b>" Thank you I'll try that. I never go over the minute pre year of age rule.. mostly because usually the baby is sleeping and I'd like to calm her down so she doesnt wake her up"</blockquote>



Understandable but if shes screaming and acting out all through the time out and then gets to get out anyway, she isn't learning anything. Kwim?

Quoting MommaSav2:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jadiebug & GeorgiaPeach:</b>" Thank you I'll try that. I never ... [snip!] ... if shes screaming and acting out all through the time out and then gets to get out anyway, she isn't learning anything. Kwim?"

Definitely! Thanks so much for your help  

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jadiebug & GeorgiaPeach:</b>" Definitely! Thanks so much for your help  "</blockquote>

You're welcome! I hope it works for you, it does for us. Good luck.

My son gets like this on occasion - what works for him is telling him that big kids don't act like that and if he continues, I'll have to treat him like he's a baby. If that fails, he goes to bed. I don't know if your girls share a room or not, but I don't know if that would work if they do. Luckily, my son can be put in his bed and he can work things out on his own. He's allowed to come out when he can come to me and tell me what he did wrong. (That's a new advancement - usually if I can get him to voice what it was that he did wrong, I can usually talk it out with him.

Quoting LolaMcKitten:" My son gets like this on occasion - what works for him is telling him that big kids don't act like that ... [snip!] ... a new advancement - usually if I can get him to voice what it was that he did wrong, I can usually talk it out with him. "

Thats a great idea too, i'll use that thank you! No they do not share a room.. and the only problem with saying that is since having the baby she does want to be treated like a baby lol. I guess my biggest problem is what to do when we're out of the house.. I can leave her freak out in her room at home but what do I do at a restaurant???

Quoting Jadiebug & GeorgiaPeach:" Thats a great idea too, i'll use that thank you! No they do not share a room.. and the only problem ... [snip!] ... is what to do when we're out of the house.. I can leave her freak out in her room at home but what do I do at a restaurant???"

Luckily, I rarely ever go anywhere with my son when my SO isn't there - and he acts like an angel around him, so I've never really had a huge issue in public.

I remember a few times as a kid, though, when we would act up, my mom would take us outside and out us in the car. We never ACTUALLY left, but man, if we thought we were leaving, we would straighten up real quick - unless it's somewhere she doesn't want to be anyway, then that wouldn't work.