feeling dead inside

here's my story
back in october i found a strange number on husbands work phone. i didn't think much of it so i let it go.
a couple of days after that, i found the same number again and found it odd that it didn't have a name on it.
so i asked the husband about it and he claimed it was a company asking to interview him. But i didn't buy it.
I had that gut feeling that has never failed me, so i called the number and a woman answered. It was a private cell.
i confronted him about it and he DENIED DENIED until i basically told him to man the smurf up and say the truth for once. And he admitted it was a co worker that he was just "friends" with.

it upset me because he would call her right after he kissed me goodbye to head to work.
anyways we talked, we cried, he said he wouldn't speak to her again.

fastforward to today.
i got on his phone. **i know i shouldn't be doing that but i had the feeling he was up to something**

well i found a text through voxer from this girl that read
"hey my phone isn't working but i will text you tomorrow...love u."

i died a little inside. He replied to her "just use the voxer text"

all this time he has been lying to me, having a relationship with her. sending her pictures of himself.

i don't know what i did to deserve this. i know i am not perfect. And i have done all i can to be this perfect wife/ please him in every way.

I hate myself. all i wanted was for us to be a family.
i asked him to move out and he will be going to his mothers.
i will stay here with the kids.
i am going to look for a job, save up and get my own place with the children.

i feel like a failed as a mother.wife. partner

You didn't fail at all. What he did was wrong and his fault not yours. I'm sorry that happened to you.

OMG, I'm so sorry  

Please realize that it was HIS decision to cheat

It's not your fault! Your not a bad anything! He should have never done that, if anything it's his fault for breaking up his family!

You didn't fail. It was his choice to do what he did. You need to focus on yourself and your kids. I've been cheated on and lied to so many times by my daughters father and in the end I still have to remind myself it isn't me, he had the choice to talk to me or cheat on me and he made the choice to do the wrong thing. Yeah it hurts but you will be ok one day it may not be tomorrow or next year but you will be ok.

You did NOT fail hun. He failed at being faithful..that is on him. Not you! I'm so sorry you are going through this. I can only imagine how hurt you are   ...Keep your head up and show him you can make it!

<blockquote><b>Quoting R. Sparkles:</b>" here's my story back in october i found a strange number on husbands work phone. i didn't think much ... [snip!] ... i am going to look for a job, save up and get my own place with the children. i feel like a failed as a mother.wife. partner"</blockquote>




You did not fail sweetie. He is the one who messed up the marriage by cheating. You don't deserve someone who will hurt you when you give them your all. Thoughts sent your way...

thank you ladies.
it hurts so bad.
i would never in a million years hurt him like he hurt me.

he kept saying she's nobody. means nothing to me.
so why, i ask him did you keep going with this.

its just to much.
my kids birthdays are sunday and tuesday.
then the holidays.
and i feel so alone.

he meant the world to me. he and my children were my everything.
he was my bestfriend

he said that he doesn't know why he does it. that he wants to stop but can't.
but i can't do that to myself.
i don't mean anything to him or else he wouldn't do this

Quoting R. Sparkles:" thank you ladies. it hurts so bad. i would never in a million years hurt him like he hurt me. ... [snip!] ... that he wants to stop but can't. but i can't do that to myself. i don't mean anything to him or else he wouldn't do this"

I'm so sorry you are going through this   ...are you guys going to stay civil at least through their birthdays and the holidays?

It is not your fault.. I'm sorry you're going through this just make the best out of what you have for yoyo and your kids. Do you have a family member or friend you can talk to? Best of luck.

Quoting *B & D Mommy*:" I'm so sorry you are going through this   ...are you guys going to stay civil at least through their birthdays and the holidays? "

i don't know.
we were planning a party for them on the 22 with all our friends and families. but i don't think i can.
the pain is too much. i will try to be civil but i don't know how to do it.
he destroyed me and our family.

Quoting P.S I'm pregnant ♥:" It is not your fault.. I'm sorry you're going through this just make the best out of what you have for yoyo and your kids. Do you have a family member or friend you can talk to? Best of luck."

i am going to my sister in laws in a couple of hours.

i am not close to my mom, so i wanted to talk to someone else first.

Quoting R. Sparkles:" i don't know. we were planning a party for them on the 22 with all our friends and families. but ... [snip!] ... think i can. the pain is too much. i will try to be civil but i don't know how to do it. he destroyed me and our family."

Yeah I bet it is hard! I would definitely try though for your children..at least this one last thing ya know?

<blockquote><b>Quoting R. Sparkles:</b>" i am going to my sister in laws in a couple of hours. i am not close to my mom, so i wanted to talk to someone else first."</blockquote>




Well I hope you have a decent relationship with her, I went through something similar with my sons farther except we weren't married, but it is still heartbreaking being lied to and I kb ow the feeling of not feeling good enough or like I did something wrong. Maybe take a while and get some counseling with your husband..

I am so sorry you are dealing with this but like everyone else said, it is not your fault and you deserve better. And you know what? You got the best parts of him and that is your kids. Stay stong mama, we're here for you!