re: co parenting--what should be joint.

Thanks everyone for your responses. I want to be, for the most part, exteremly civil for the kids.

I willingly am giving joint custody, and have basically told him, as long as it doesnt interfer with perarranged plans, he is more then welcome to take them.

He may not have been the best husband, but hes a damn good dad, and thats what my kids need in their lives.

The problem with diet, is I dont eat red meats, or really any meat (anymore) and he does. I also dont want them living off processed foods, but I dont know how much of a joint decision that is. I cant tell him what to buy/make. Kwim?

Quoting The Doctor:" Yeah... fun times when you learn about your co-parent's "religion" from your child."

Tom Cruise, anyone? Lol. I heard that's why Nicole Kidman left his troll-sized ass.

Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:" Thanks everyone for your responses. I want to be, for the most part, exteremly civil for the kids. ... [snip!] ... them living off processed foods, but I dont know how much of a joint decision that is. I cant tell him what to buy/make. Kwim?"

That's the best goal... try to be civil and work things out together when an issue arises.

Do you think he'd have an issue with the kids not eating meat at your house? And, yeah, in terms of diet I don't think it's good to dictate what the other parent can/can't feed the kids.

Quoting Kelly&Coralie:" Well you could have said that instead of just saying "I don't want the live virus inside of her" lol I don't do the flu shots here either."

Yeah, I probably should have said that to start with. With this current pregnancy, I find that I don't express myself as clearly as I normally do.  

Quoting Back to Noob Status:" Tom Cruise, anyone? Lol. I heard that's why Nicole Kidman left his troll-sized ass. "

Oh. My. Gawd.

Figured it out. Tom Cruise must have abducted BD so he could be non-vertically challenged.  

<blockquote><b>Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:</b>" Thanks everyone for your responses. I want to be, for the most part, exteremly civil for the kids. ... [snip!] ... them living off processed foods, but I dont know how much of a joint decision that is. I cant tell him what to buy/make. Kwim?"</blockquote>


You said that he's a good parent. If you bring it up as more of a health concern and not just what you want, he will probably want to make sure they are healthy as well. Kwim?

Quoting The Doctor:" Oh. My. Gawd. Figured it out. Tom Cruise must have abducted BD so he could be non-vertically challenged.  "

 

I knew Cruise was wack!

<blockquote><b>Quoting The Doctor:</b>" That's the best goal... try to be civil and work things out together when an issue arises. Do you ... [snip!] ... at your house? And, yeah, in terms of diet I don't think it's good to dictate what the other parent can/can't feed the kids."</blockquote>




No he has no problem with the kids not eating meat here. But Im worried about the possible side effects of going from no/little meat(turkey and chicken) to full on meat filled meals.

Ive grown to be intolerant to red meat. I get sicker then a dog when I eat it. And Im positive if the kids got sick from it, he wouldnt give it to them, but Id rather him not at all. Ya know?

Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:" Thanks everyone for your responses. I want to be, for the most part, exteremly civil for the kids. ... [snip!] ... them living off processed foods, but I dont know how much of a joint decision that is. I cant tell him what to buy/make. Kwim?"

Unfortunately, there's not much you can do about diet at his house. We don't eat processed food at our house, either. We don't go out to eat often, and we eat as organic as possible. My ex doesn't do any of that. He goes out to eat often, and our daughter eats stuff that we don't give her at our house. You have to pick your battles, and know which ones are worth fighting, and which ones aren't.

Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:" <blockquote><b>Quoting The Doctor:</b>" That's the best goal... try to be civil and ... [snip!] ... when I eat it. And Im positive if the kids got sick from it, he wouldnt give it to them, but Id rather him not at all. Ya know?"

What's your visitation schedule like?

If they're going like... one week on, one week off or something I don't think a week is long enough for their body to reject meat, KWIM?

<blockquote><b>Quoting MommaSav2:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:</b>" Thanks everyone for your responses. ... [snip!] ... up as more of a health concern and not just what you want, he will probably want to make sure they are healthy as well. Kwim?"</blockquote>




He is a very good dad. I couldnt ask for more when it comes to his love for the kids. He even adopted my son from a previous relationship. Hes just great with them. He took them for the first time yesterday, and I was worried to be honest (but Ive never been away it was more anxiety), and they had a blast, and it felt great!

But he thinks we need meat to survive.

<blockquote><b>Quoting The Doctor:</b>" What's your visitation schedule like? If they're going like... one week on, one week off or something I don't think a week is long enough for their body to reject meat, KWIM?"</blockquote>




We havent eaten red meat in our house in almost a year lol. Visitation, is every other weekend from friday night to sunday night and wednesday every week from 4-7.

We gave uo red meat for his health, but then he never really stopped eating it. Kwim?

But I just need to learn what is a fight, and whats not lol.

Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:" <blockquote><b>Quoting The Doctor:</b>" What's your visitation schedule like? If ... [snip!] ... for his health, but then he never really stopped eating it. Kwim? But I just need to learn what is a fight, and whats not lol."

Hmm.

Okay-- here's what I think would be reasonable:

Ask if he's willing to keep it to a meal or two with red meat while they're with him just to be sure their bodies are coping with it well. I'd just tell him you want to make sure it's not too much all at once, and see if he's open to that.

<blockquote><b>Quoting PurpleBama582:</b>" Unfortunately, there's not much you can do about diet at his house. We don't eat processed food at our ... [snip!] ... we don't give her at our house. You have to pick your battles, and know which ones are worth fighting, and which ones aren't. "</blockquote>




Yeah, I do need to learn lol. Ive never co parented before. At all. I didnt know what would be considered a joint decision. I just want this transition to be as easy and non confusing as possible for the kids. And he has no problem talking to me, nor do I with him. I just dont know what to push for, and what to just let ride.

I know hed do anything for the kids, thats not the issue. Maybe I just have control issues. Lol

<blockquote><b>Quoting The Doctor:</b>" Hmm. Okay-- here's what I think would be reasonable: Ask if he's willing to keep it to a meal or ... [snip!] ... are coping with it well. I'd just tell him you want to make sure it's not too much all at once, and see if he's open to that."</blockquote>




Thats a good idea thanks! I dont care if they eat it, as long as they can tolerate it. I dont plan on buying his groceries for him lol.