re: parents who have lost infants

I completely agree with you. It is much different to lose a real baby that you've gotten to bond with and care for outside of the womb, to hold and kiss, than to lose a pregnancy. I lost my first child almost a year ago to Interrupted SIDS, she was 10.5 weeks old. I am now pregnant with baby number 2 as I couldn't function with empty arms anymore and it took much longer to get pregnant with #2 than with my angel baby. If I were to lose this pregnancy, it would be no where near the pain of losing my daughter. People who have m/c wont understand what you are going through, so you're right. In order to get that support, you need to have a section for women who have lost a baby, not a pregnancy.

Quoting SIDS survivor:" I completely agree with you. It is much different to lose a real baby that you've gotten to bond with ... [snip!] ... so you're right. In order to get that support, you need to have a section for women who have lost a baby, not a pregnancy."

who are you to say what is a real baby to anyone?its kinda sad some thing their loss is greater then others since they had their child longer..smh

<blockquote><b>Quoting º×ß¡±©µ×º:</b>" who are you to say what is a real baby to anyone?its kinda sad some thing their loss is greater then others since they had their child longer..smh "</blockquote>



Thank you for saying that. Alot of people I know have lost both an infant and a miscarriage and they say that both of their losses devstated them. Both of mine devastated me. And several people I know as soon as they get a positive they're bonded and that is a real baby to them. It's all about perspective

<blockquote><b>Quoting HopingforaMiracle:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting º×ß¡±©µ×º:</b>" who are you to say what is a real baby to anyone?its ... [snip!] ... several people I know as soon as they get a positive they're bonded and that is a real baby to them. It's all about perspective"</blockquote>


I had a stillborn it hurts time no end I can't afford headstone for his grave

<blockquote><b>Quoting º×ß¡±©µ×º:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting HopingforaMiracle:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting º×ß¡±©µ×º:</b>" ... [snip!] ... It's all about perspective"</blockquote> I had a stillborn it hurts time no end I can't afford headstone for his grave"</blockquote>




I understand I'm sorry

My baby died from SIDS too on Dec 3rd. If you ever need someone to talk to message me. Sorry for your loss..all 3

<blockquote><b>Quoting SIDS survivor:</b>" I completely agree with you. It is much different to lose a real baby that you've gotten to bond with ... [snip!] ... so you're right. In order to get that support, you need to have a section for women who have lost a baby, not a pregnancy."</blockquote>




How can you even say that? Im sincerely not trying to be mean but this offended me to no end. Just because some girls werent fortunate enough to hold their child doesnt make it hurt less. Im absolutely devastated about my miscarriage to this very day. I saw the baby, i saw the flickering heart, i felt my stomach become hard from my uterus growing, my senses heightened. Im very, very sorry for your loss, dont get me wrong at all. I may not have held my child but i still bonded with him or her.

<blockquote><b>Quoting nicolelynnexo:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting SIDS survivor:</b>" I completely agree with you. It is much ... [snip!] ... Im very, very sorry for your loss, dont get me wrong at all. I may not have held my child but i still bonded with him or her."</blockquote>




I think the point she was trying to make is that it's a different kind of pain. Not that what you experienced was any less painful but just different and someone's hit benefit from talking to someone else who has been in their exact shoes.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jennybananna:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting nicolelynnexo:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting SIDS ... [snip!] ... any less painful but just different and someone's hit benefit from talking to someone else who has been in their exact shoes."</blockquote>




Losing a pregnancy is losing a baby. I'm just saying that maybe it if was re-worded, i wouldnt have been upset by it. Plus i've seen quite a few posts for infant loss (not sayong that thats a good thing) but the posts are there.

A loss is a loss but the experiences are all different and affect us all in different ways. The end result is that you're babies are not here. BUT I do completely understand what she means. It's harder to relate to another's pain when they experienced a different loss (just as losing a grandma is different from losing a sibling of best friend) It also differs depending on what order you experienced each type of loss... My first son was stillborn at 39 weeks and 3 days, the day before I was supposed to be induced in 2006 (I was only eighteen). Then I had an early on MC. The MC would of affected me totally different I'm sure than if my first son wasn't carried full term (I just already had a different experience to compare it too). I then went on to have another stillborn at 39 weeks and 3 days to another little boy in 2010. Then by a miracle I had my 3rd son healthy and alive in 2011. I'm now preggo with my 4th   Sometimes the pain and pressure gets too overwhelming when you are living your life knowing and constantly dealing with the pain of losing a child but just knowing other's know this pain to any extent is comforting. But it's hard not to feel like you can't completely relate to someone with a different story. Totally understandable, so don't take it personal just choose to see the blessings and time we all had with our children no matter how long... that's the only way to get through it. So sorry for your loss OP hang in there

<blockquote><b>Quoting Miracle Mommy Magen:</b>" A loss is a loss but the experiences are all different and affect us all in different ways. The end result ... [snip!] ... all had with our children no matter how long... that's the only way to get through it. So sorry for your loss OP hang in there"</blockquote>




I completely understand what you're saying