Forums > Labor & Birthby: SunshineDay

Who's allowed in the delivery room?

posted 11th Dec
My mother-in-law "announced" that she was going to be in the delivery room with me because she was there for the birth of her first grandchild (mine is her third). Needless to say, I was a little upset because that's a special, delicate time and she didn't even ask me. I've already decided who I wanted to be there with me, and I refuse to let her be one of them. Don't get me wrong, I love her and we get along great, but she can be demanding and overbearing - something I don't need at that time. How do I tell her that I don't want her there without causing tension?
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I live in Illinois
posted 11th Dec
just tell her that you only want your SO in there with you. if she doesnt listen, tell a nurse and they wont let her in, lol
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I have 3 kids & live in Ohio
posted 11th Dec
Tell her you can only have a limited number of people and you have already decided who is going to be there. That is how it was with both my deliveries. I could have two people aside from DH. I had my parents but my dad stepped out seeing as I am his daughter and he doesn't like blood let alone seeing a kid come out of me  

Say she is welcome to wait in the waiting room and she can come see the baby after it is born 
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I live in Switzerland
posted 11th Dec
Quoting Amy {OneGirl, TwoBoys}:" just tell her that you only want your SO in there with you. if she doesnt listen, tell a nurse and they wont let her in, lol"
 
or tell her she isnt allowed in there. Let her assume you mean the hospital wont allow her  
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I have 2 angel babies & live in California
posted 11th Dec
Some hospitals only let one to two people in the delivery room. It should be up to you who is in there
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I have 1 child & 2 angel babies & live in USA
posted 11th Dec
Lol, you getting along great is going to end as soon as you stand up for yourself.
Just tell her no, and let your nurse know only your SO is allowed in the room.
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I'm due September 28th (a girl), have 4 kids & live in Nova Scotia
posted 11th Dec
Ugh. My MIL is the same way. I just said, "I don't really want a ton of people in the room with me while I'm laboring..."

I'm a pretty shy person, so it worked out I think.
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I have 1 child & live in Plano, Texas
posted 11th Dec
If you are comfortable with it tell her she can be at the hospital but for delivery you would only like the following people there with you as thats what you're most comfortable with.
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I have 2 kids & live in San Jose, California
posted 11th Dec
Ew I'd say no if she just announced it like that.

I'm going to have my mom, the baby's dad, and his mom in the room. Because that's what /I/ want. If his mom just TOLD me she'd be there I'd shut that smurf down.
quotesmurfs?
I have 2 kids & live in Vantaa, Finland
posted 11th Dec
Just tell her you only want your mom & SO in the room.
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I have 3 angel babies & live in Florida
posted 11th Dec
<blockquote><b>Quoting Viv, Ev & Gwen ♥:</b>" Ew I'd say no if she just announced it like that. I'm going to have my mom, the baby's dad, and his ... [snip!] ... dad, and his mom in the room. Because that's what /I/ want. If his mom just TOLD me she'd be there I'd shut that smurf down."</blockquote>


  this. I hate when people think they can just SAY what part they're having in something that is MINE, which usually makes me more willing to tell them "uhhh... No."  
quotesmurfs?
I have 1 child & live in Plano, Texas
posted 11th Dec
<blockquote><b>Quoting True Diva:</b>" Just tell her you only want your mom & SO in the room."</blockquote>




  it's your choice she can't demand smurf! If she's pushy tell the nurses and they will not let her in.
quotesmurfs?
I'm due July 4th (a boy), have 1 child & live in Windsor, Pennsylvania
posted 15th Dec
Thanks for all the advice! She caught me so off guard when she said it, I didn't know what to say, but I'm going to make sure there are no unwanted/uninvited guests during the delivery. It's gonna be bad enough having a medical staff looking up where the sun don't shine, I don't need family doing the same thing...lol
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I live in Illinois
posted 15th Dec
My mil wanted to be in the room, but I just told her im only allowed 2 people in the room & it was going to be my mum & my her son. I wouldn't of gotten through my labour without my mum, she stayed til I got stitched up & I was stable then she left so we could bond as a family. then I had visitors a few hours later.
I didn't invite her & I let the hospital and my midwives know who was allowed in the room. Lol
It's your birth & your choice do what's best for you (-:
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I have 1 child & live in Adelaide, Australia
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